Cover letter to my first draft

Dear Reader,

First of all, I wanted to tell my readers a very simple story; I think that’s a good start for an amateur writer. I had tried writing about things that have had higher consequences and impacts on my life, but it was frustrating when my words and sentences couldn’t quite capture the things with the same passion that I wanted them to. So, I chose to write about a part of my life which has its subtle significance.

I think the story came easy to me. I have always wanted to write about my two year long experience of being a server and thought it apt to do it now. Every day as a server, I encountered tiny epiphanies that frustrated me more and liberated me far less. I remember using my order pads more for making personal notes than jotting down orders from the patrons. I remember eavesdropping at a couple’s table sensing infidelity, and listening with awe a meeting between a writer and an editor.  So I had a lot of things to write about, to share with my readers.

I believe I struggled with the flow. I think my essay lacks a good flow that makes a good essay. I have tried shuffling sentences and paragraphs to little avail. Hopefully with revision, I will do a better job. I also struggled with the parallel I tried to draw between my experience and the concurrent world event. I think it looks rushed. Although I know that it is a forced and an alien component of my writing, I think I would be able to do a better job at connecting these two events and find the common essence.

I really think I am content with the word choices I have made in this story, although I am not too happy about “sporadically” and “perfunctorily,” but I can easily dismiss this glitch by calling them a part of a literary trope I am trying to use. But in general, I think I have averted myself from using words that are unnecessary. In this I tried emulating Zinsser’s advice, “The only way to avoid it [banal expressions] is to care deeply about words………………….Notice the decisions that other writers make in their choice of words and finicky about the ones you select from the vast supply. The race in writing is not to the swift but to the original. (Zinsser, 34)” Although the last sentence couldn’t be practiced to its fullest effect due to our impending deadlines, I have tried spending more time than I usually do to think if a word sit right or do I need another word.

As I already addressed earlier in this letter, I need to work on my flow. Perhaps give some more evidence and details. Now that I have written this cover letter, I think I can even include some of the things I have written here into the actual essay- the part on “tiny epiphanies” and other interesting anecdotes. Like any other first draft, my essay needs a lot of mending before it is remotely eligible for a publication. Thank you.

 

Tenzin Jamyang

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One Response to Cover letter to my first draft

  1. Profile photo of js105691 js105691 says:

    Hi Tenzin,

    I am happy to know you are gaining insight from this process.

    Ira Glass provides helpful examples on how to set flow into storytelling: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loxJ3FtCJJ

    Thanks,

    Jay

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