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Comprehensive and caring peer review is part of your grade! Get in there and give your review group member’s some comments on their Essay 3 drafts.
I originally asked you to complete peer review by Sunday, 4/28. Do it by class time tomorrow, 5/1, and I will still give you credit for it.
For class this week, please read and be ready to workshop the final essays of:
Alee, Iordan, Darius and Hutch.
We’ll begin the workshop with Nakeisha’s draft, which you read for last week.
And we have our final presentation of the semester by Amzad on vivid writing.
See you in class on Wednesday–or before, if your conference is scheduled for Wednesday afternoon.
Please remember to post comments and helpful suggestions on your editing group members’ Essay 3 drafts.
And continue to work on revising and refining your own drafts–you have less than three weeks to make them the exceptional capstone essays they aspire to be. Take some risks; try out some new approaches; show your work to friends and family; get feedback; write, rewrite, and write some more. Have fun. Go crazy. Have a lolly. Write a little more.
Thanks.
Editing Groups Unit 3
Hutch, Iordan, Kris, Sofia
Rebecca, Nakeisha, Cass, Zhanna
Avi, Michelle, Jay, Alee
Andrea, Darius, Tenzin, Amzad, Jessica
For the in-class workshop tomorrow, please read the Essay 3 drafts by Amzad, Andrea, Nakeisha, and Jessica. Please come to class ready to discuss them–take note of what you especially like in these drafts and bring your suggestions!
We might not get through all of these drafts, but we’ll do our best to cover them all. We’ll look at 4-6 more drafts in the following class on 5/1: stay tuned for announcements.
Here is both my PowerPoint and Handout for my presentation. I truly hope you all enjoy it!
Semicolon and m-dashI apologize for taking this long to post my link for the presentation I did couple of weeks ago. It is here now and hopefully it will of some help.
https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1HPskuI2Ydmq-qCdpCsZ7ky-cy_JeKBZnAp8yLr2VIGo/edit?usp=sharing
For my capstone essay, I want to capture the idea of coming into myself in my post-college mid-twenties. I have recently been spending time in an old brownstone in Bed Stuy, prolonging my carefree days before starting my first full time job. I left my parent’s house after Easter dinner this year and haven’t been back since. I haven’t lived at home in years and being home for the past few months had driven me to a breaking point where I could no longer be at their house. Their house, no longer my house. I went out on a ledge and moved in with a girl who I had known for a week in a neighborhood that I didn’t know. I was now a minority. I didn’t get the alternate side of the street parking rules. I didn’t know the guys at the deli, the landlord, her husband or my neighbors. I couldn’t point at myself on a map. But by escaping the comforts of my white bread suburban upbringing, I was able to start to discover who I had become.
Here is an except from the thoughts that I have written down over the past few weeks:
“I sat in the back of my car for hours that day. My beaten Nikes hung inches above the greyed out pavement on Macdonaugh Street, my untied laces swaying softly in the spring wind. I leafed through the book in my right hand, maneuvering my way through the words as I exhaled the smoke of yet another Parliament.
Just as the capacity to feel is present throughout the body,
Ignorance dwells in all affliction emotions,
Therefore all affliction emotions are overcome,
Through overcoming ignorance.
Tough the screw in my tire was keeping me immobile, I couldn’t imagine a better place to be spending the day. The sun shone through the windows in my car…”
The quote in the middle is from a book on the best Buddhist writings, which I had been reading the day I was getting my tire fixed. I’m hoping to incorporate quotes from this book as well as a few songs and poems in the essay, making it more lyrical than a normal essay. I am also hoping to make this a video essay, taking my own video or incorporating photographs in a slideshow-like manner in conjunction with a reading of my essay.
I want to get down to the raw emotion that comes from having time to sit down and truly reflect on yourself. The good, the bad, the ugly. I want to touch on subjects that are applicable to people my age as well as relate my recent thoughts and experiences to feelings that are relatable to everyone.
Sorry it’s late, I haven’t been able to make a final decision on the topic… But this is where my head is at.
Since I am a journalism major, I woUld love to stick to interviewing people and making a story out of it. About two days ago I met a guy on the train, he is from Kazakhstan, he lives in Newark and he works on 42 street. He paints pictures, no, he “sprays”pictures. His dream is to go to Baruch college someday. He is trying so hard tobuild his future. I want to meet him again and ask him to tell me his story, maybe I will find more conflict. I just imagine the visuals, they will be just awesome. I also want to try thetechnique that was used in “Ode to every thing”, so-called video made of many pictures, which is somewhere in the middle between pictures and video.
I could also write more about my experience at the hospital. Though it was the worst two weeks of my life in the States, I still have a lot of funny moments to mention and could make this essay not only hard to read and “oh my God what she went through type of an essay, but one having positive side.
Here I could use some of my pictures and I guess audio, record my friends who came to support me.
I’m currently brainstorming for my hybrid essay. I really liked the idea of the interview. I was thinking of maybe engaging senior citizens and children and asking them what they think is the best advice whether it was given to them or they came up with this piece of advice on their own. I’m debating if I want to narrow this advice to focus on “love” or just advice broadly. I’d like to juxtapose the wise, dated or crotchety advice of a senior citizen with the innocence of a child whose advice can potentially be wise, naive, something their mom told them or just plain hilarious.
In terms of really pinpointing where I want this essay to go I personally, like to start with a simple idea and decide where I’d like to take it once I begin. Right now, I’m thinking I would like for this hybrid essay to be purely audio, but depending on the answers I get I will determine the final direction I’d like to go in. I find it difficult to predict the mode in which I’d like for this essay to appear and need a little inspiration before I can commit.
That said I particularly like the idea of voices as a mode for this essay because the voices of a young and old person are drastically different. The inflection of someone’s voice tells a story in itself and lends itself to assuming a certain age and level of experience or intelligence.