Blog Post 3.3
For a while now I’ve been thinking of writing an essay based on the duality of my life – being an active member of my church and being a college student in a massive commuter school. It may not seem like a significant topic at first glance, but lately I have seen how different the two lives are. The only thing is, I still can’t figure out what message I want readers to take away from it, or if I want there to be any message at all…
As for the format, I want to try focusing on music. Either I will include lyrics to a few songs from both aspects of my life in the middle of the essay or I will turn the entire piece into a video where I will sit in a professional suit with my drum in my lap. Both ways should portray the contrast between my religious life and my academic life.
The flow of the essay should be rhythmic, where someone could read it out loud and follow a simple beat. I’m not sure how well I will accomplish this, but it’s certainly a goal I want to pursue. The challenge will be to keep the words I use consistent with my day-to-day speech at the same time. I want to start with my life at Baruch, then use a song from my church as a transition into my religious life, followed by lyrics from a song I might hear at Baruch for the next transition, and so forth. The ending would be a gospel song that has entered my life at Baruch in a bit of a humorous way, which I might explain in the essay if I think it will fit.
3 responses so far
At this point, it’s hard to imagine the essay that will emerge, since you don’t indicate much of a message in your proposal. You use mostly neutral language (duality, different) instead of more loaded language (clash, harmony) that might suggest what your tone and message might be. I am intrigued by it, though, since religious life and college life are usually not seen as 100% congruent–I would guess that most college students aren’t particularly active in their church or feel that religion is the most important thing in their lives personally (even though many may have religion in their lives). I like the idea of using music here. The gospel ending sounds especially relevant to me. You might consider using one one song (or maybe two) and breaking up the lyrics of that song throughout. Too many songs might become…too much, too chaotic and overwhelming. Readers might stop reading the lyrics, or fail to grasp how all the different songs have meaning in the essay and work together. Or at least keep the excerpts of lyrics fairly short.
I’m not grasping yet why rhythmic drum beats or simple, drum-type rhythm is important here. Why a drum (if you were to do the video)? Why are you going for a “simple beat”? Maybe the reasons will come out in the draft…
Hi Darius,
I think you have a very interesting premise to work around. I think this duality is something that can resonate with a lot of readers; somehow, everyone lives a double life, or a triple for that matter.
I am assuming that you will be approaching this essay with an already set direction–towards showing how different these two lives are. I am not sure how helpful this would be, but I think your story would have an extra dimension to it if you also considered the similarities as well and not get too streamlined by the differences. I guess they are many ways to depict a conflict–especially pertinent to a theme that you are pursuing–in your essay, but if you keep the conclusion contingent, I think your story would be more dynamic. By doing that, I think we will see more of “you,” than of your “decision.”
When I was done reading your proposal, I felt that you were more confident about the form that your essay with take than the content. This might tie in with my point above–about how a determined mindset might affect your essay. I think the same happens here. I feel that you might end up compromising with your content to avoid any confrontation with your form. Or perhaps, if you are up for the challenge, you can intentionally let the content and the form contradict each other. I think that would make a great story and give it more depth.
Looking forward to reading your essay Darius. Good luck.
Hey Darius,
This type of essay is very similar to the last essay I wrote. I showed the reader the difference between my life at work and my life at home. It was pretty hard trying to create such an impact simply because my life at work was way more interesting than my life at home. I was left with great details of work and about a paragraph of home life.
I do feel that this will be a very interesting essay and definitely successful. I love the idea of the ending, mashing up both worlds in to one.
I do agree with Prof. Smith about sticking to one or two songs. It will create a consistent rhythm being that it is the same song.
You have a lot to work with and I can’t wait to see what you have come up with!
Good luck!!!
Andrea