Advanced Essay Writing, Spring 2013

Similes

As empty as a cookie jar within a child’s reach

As weak as the delicate silk of spider webs

Gathered together like sewn pieces of thread

As rough as a stubbly beard

Trembling like a racing pulse

Praying like a frightened child

Bouncing like a coin across the water

Smiling like a rich gambler

Metaphors

Heart of sand

Mountains of frozen tears

War is death

The ocean is a blanket of silk

The moon is a beacon of hope

This house of hope

My love is an endless sea

Writing is a battlefield

Poem

I stand by the shore,

Clutching a thin shawl around my shoulders,

Trembling like a racing pulse.

The harsh wind is cold and unforgiving,

Biting at my icy, cold flesh.

I look ahead at the water.

The ocean is a blanket of silk

That ripples with the whistling wind.

I reach into my pocket and pull out a pebble-sized rock.

I roll the smooth pebble between my thumb and forefinger

Before I toss it into the ocean.

It crashes against the silky surface,

Bouncing like a coin across the water

I dig my toes into the wet sand

And enjoy the grainy sensation.

I look down at my feet and I can see the grains of sand

Being pushed and pulled by the water

These tiny specks of sand that are washed away,

Bit by bit, into this endless sea of blue

And I suddenly think

Of how much I’ve changed,

Of how much I’ve lost,

Of the tiny bits of me

That have slowly been washed away

I can feel myself fading,

Like a helpless creature with

A heart of sand.

Some of the stories in this 60 minute work really captured my attention while others were just begging me to skip them. After listening to all 20, I decided that I most enjoyed “Don’t I know you,” “No, of course I know you,” “Up where the air is clear,” and Act 10, which has no title but is a 2 minute play.

One thing that connects all four stories is that they made me laugh. Especially Act 10. Definitely Act 10.

I sometimes think my sense of humor is quite odd, as I find amusement in some things where few else do, and no enjoyment in things that most people find laughable. Half of the time I spend with my friends is filled with polite smiles or blank expressions as they share some joke that I can’t relate to. The other half is spent trying to cover for my own failed attempts at raising some chuckles from them. In these stories, though, I can see the humor that the authors intended to convey, and I have received it well. That must mean that my own sense of humor isn’t so unusual after all.

That brings me to another connection – I can relate to each of those stories. Okay, I’m not an under-recognized actor who roams the streets of New York everyday, but I have certainly made innocent situations awkward by pure accident before.

The four pieces I chose can each tie into an experience I’ve had in my life; thinking about a strange woman for hours, even days, before finally placing where I’ve met her before; trying to hold a good conversation with someone I have only one thing in common with (and nothing else); and doing an improv act in front of an audience. That’s why I’m able to laugh at these stories – I have some kind of experience that allows me to relate to them and find the humor.

Maybe I’m just taking the chance to laugh not at what the authors placed in my ears, but simply at myself.

Simile
As empty as an eaten bowl of cereal
As weak as a toothpick
Gathered together like pile of snow
As rough as sandpaper
Trembling like a leaf
Praying like a preying mantis
Bouncing like a rubber ball
Smiling like a happy child

Metaphor
Heart of gold
Mountains of Vermont
War is negative
The ocean is blue
The moon is bright
This house of sticks
My love is sincere
Writing is thoughtful

Paragraph
The house of sticks trembled like a leaf; composed of toothpicks.
Piles of snow as soft as feather gathered round the house in support.
Located in the mountains of Vermont, where it snowed continuously, huge drifts of snow lined banks and valleys. The sky was bright blue with sharp rays of sun piercing through.
Skiiers, dressed in heavy winter jackets and ski boots, dragging skis, trudged to the tops of mountains. They flew down mountains through snow at top speed. They gathered at the bottom for hot coffee and tea, chatting and exchanging conversation. Several wrote letters thoughtfully.
When the sun set later in the evening, it was a rainbow of colors over Vermont.
Later that night the sky turned black and filled with stars. Skiiers returned to their cottages , preparing to arise early with the sun for another d

What I don’t appreciate about myself is being unable to read out loud. I just can’t. Maybe it’s because of my voice or something else that is beyond my knowing, a mystery. So whenever I hear someone reciting something, or telling stories, I find myself drawn to that. It’s something that I like as much as  I like reading and writing for pleasure.

I read the script of Act 2 before I listened to it. Honestly speaking, it didn’t sound fun to me at all. However, it turned out very different when I listened to it. Once again my inability of reading out loud or reciting haunted me for the 2^nd time during this semester. And the first time it happened when we’re reading Sofia and Kris’s essay before the spring break. I had read silently both essays before professor Smith read them aloud to our class. So how did I feel when I read both essays to myself? The answer was- not so great. How did I feel listening to professor Smith reading? As she read along, I felt like I was listening to a song that has a very low background music which could only reach my ears. I drew a conclusion from that ” I lack this amazing quality that you people have.”

I liked all the Acts because I simply love listening to stories. Nevertheless, one story that struck me most is ” The Greatest Dog Name in the World.” This story and the two brothers bickering over dog’s name brought me a little sweet memory of my childhood. Like the two brothers, we, my brother and I, used to have little disputes over simple matters. Once my father bought a parrot home for us. He  thought it would make us happy. What he never thought was this parrot could literally create a problem that would destroy our normal peaceful life. My brother and I fought over the parrot’s name.  It wasn’t settled until my father opened the cage of parrot. He let go of the bird. And our fight flew away with it.

My favorite act was undeniably David Sedaris. The content of his writing usually elicits laughs from me. but his matter-of-fact tone added to the humor. In Act 11,  his vocal intonation reflects his writing – he makes grunting noises imitating his sister on the toilet but he stays minimal where others overdo. His description is vivid but he uses adjectives sparingly. While I appreciate high-brow and nerd humor, the teenage boy side of me still digs sophomoric humor. His comfort with the subject matter is a plus as well, it puts the reader at ease and the pacing works.

In Act 18, I enjoyed Klosterman’s methodical writing style and the inane subject matter. As someone who has devoured way too much TV and has a 27,000 song library mostly skewed to 20th century rock and jazz, I especially found his listing style and quick-witted observations entertaining. His quirky tone of voice and the setting in which his friends competitively try to correlate bands with TV shows is comical.

Susan Drury’s Act Three “It’s Commerce That Brings Us Together” was a quaint look at ebay’s predecessor. The thick accents of the callers selling mundane items while host Don straightforwardly announces these listings is strangely enthralling. The variety pf the items got me to laugh the hardest. Lost cows and trampolines without any tarps don’t seem to intrinsically have comedic value but they way they sit within the story makes them funny.

Lastly. Act 16 on the person who sits next to the printer and has his name forgotten quite quickly. As an intern doing “internwork” at a law firm, I can entirely relate. I appreciate the interviews with Matt’s co-workers which reminded me of The Office‘s mockumentary style. The sad trombone music is an amusing touch. Expounding on how the printer plays a large-than-life role for Matt – even appearing in his dreams – makes the story absurdly whimsical.

I loved this idea of spoken stories. They are actually well-played, whether those were actors or people who spoke about their past. The music that came together with some of the stories was also good.

The first story was interesting and reminded me of the story told by Pierr Richard. I once watched a TV program when he spoke about the same anecdote that happened to him: a couple came up to him and he was like “oh, here we go again, but okay I will take a picture with you, fine”, when the guy just handed him the camera.

Act eight was very vivid and funny. I liked how the story was composed, how it was cut, music was inserted, and, which made this story more interesting, boys interacting with the dog at the end.

Act eleven: very American humor. I cant say I liked it, but I cant say I did not like it, it was interesting, anyway.

Act nine. This shows an insight of one familys life, of spouses relationships. It was funny how through just one small episode of their life the listener learns how they interact with each other and who is “the man” in the house.

While most of the stories where enjoyable to listen to in passing, only three made me want to listen to them more than once. Act Seven: Up Where the Air is Clear, told a great twist on the story of the famous Batman villain, Penguin. I was comically surprised at the introduction of Mary Poppins and her eventful hookup with Batman, the turning point of the story was definitely a good curve ball. A good laugh always add life to a story, especially when you can picture the scene taking place. The scene being described in Act Nine: Of Dogs and Men, is easily one of the most hilarious stories of the bunch. The wife testing the dog collar out on her husband, is told so effectively that you could visual it as if it were a video that went viral. Another story that falls into the humorous and “picture this” category is Act Eleven: Etiquette Lessons,  the sisters go to line for disguising her bathroom noises while on the phone almost made me fall out of my seat. Through her change in tone and pitch you are transported onto the other end of the phone and can’t help but feel the same way David Sedaris does, played and dumbfounded.

The three to five most stories, I find most compelling are —

Act 7, “Up Where the Air is Clear”, Act 8, “The Greatest Dog Name in the World”, Act 13, “More Lies”, Act 16, That Guy at the Office”, and Act 20, “The Greatest Moment I Saw on Stage”.

The main quality that I see that they all share is that 4 out of 5 of the stories start in one situation and end in the opposite situation.

In Act 7, the penguin is a poet and dandy. But when he meets Mary Poppins, he feels ludicrous and tongue tied.

In Act 13, two college grads do some babysitting. They get hungry, put grapefruit and black beans in their bags. Both fall out; it is embarrassing and they mention to the parents that they got the food in the cafeteria at school.

In Act 16, Mat is the guy who sits near the printer. When people go to pick up their prints many times a day, they chat with him. In spite of this, nobody knows his name.

In Act 20, a girl steals clothes. She gets caught, and joins a gang to make money. The mother is disappointed, as she did not raise her daughter that way. She enters a detention center, and the girls sing to their mothers apologizing and that they are ready to change. They then give their mothers hearts.

The exception is Act 8, which ends in a compromise. In Act 8, two brothers get a dog, and fight over the name. One wants Pasta, one wants Batman. The mother enters, and declares that the name is Pasta-Batman.

Another quality they share, aside from ending in the opposite situation, is that the endings are rather unexpected; almost an irony.

For example, the penguin, a poet and dandy, becomes tongue-tied; two college grads tell a lie, Mat everyone chats with, but no one knows his name; girls in a detention center sing apologies; an argument between two brothers ends in compromise.

So, my sentiment might be unpopular but I’m not too fond of NPR’s storytelling. I’m not sure what it is that turns me off more- the voices reading the stories or if it’s that the stories are just too predictable and told in a way which feels like color-by-number storytelling. For either or both of those reasons NPR doesn’t excite me too much.

While I still managed to find stories I appreciated and enjoyed one which really irritated me was Act 2 “No Ofcourse I Know You”. I find this method of storytelling extremely irritating. I’m curious if I would perhaps enjoy it more if I was alone, reading it to myself silently, using my own inflections. However, in hearing it something about this story in particular felt inauthentic, like a poor attempt at creativity. trying so hard to remain obscure in an effort to catch my interest but failed. I didn’t care who this woman was who he thought he knew. Not once did I in my mind try to guess. Then when he assumes it may have been someone he may have been in love with, just pushed me over the edge. How would you not remember THAT person?

In examining those stories which I did enjoy i noticed a common thread- a light-heartedness, humor, and that most of these stories were told as if part of a conversation rather than author taking a sort of authority over the story. The reason I enjoyed these stories was because it captured an authenticity which I didn’t feel the color-by-number stories had.

I in Act 1 actor Tate Donovan tells a story of how once in a while he would get recognized for minor roles he’d played in nineties sitcoms. This story is featured as part of a conversation between himself and Starlee Kline. The story was told as if part of an interview featuring natural, seemingly unrehearsed inflections. Immediately upon his explanation of the two dorky prom kids attending prom I knew where the story was going- and I was fine with that aspect of predictability. I think this type of predictability is positive because it leaves the listener to feel anxiety for the person in the situation. As Tate kept the ending in suspense, I knew these kids had no idea who he was, something which he was very much unaware of at the time. Personally, I thrive in awkward situations. I love them. So, the fact that Tate naturally assumed they wanted a picture with him and then proceeded to kiss the teenager’s date and put his arm around her made me smile.

Act 9 “Of Dogs and Men” was also a humorous story, told with laughter. Additionally the story triggered images,  I could see it happening.

However, one my two favorites were David Sedaris’ story in which he describes overhearing a man having a conversation while on the toilet. We’ve all either done it, or witnessed it and I think I can pretty safely say that every one of us has either knowingly or unknowingly conversed with someone while they were on the toilet.  That said his conversation with his sister following this encounter- I loved. The way after her admission. he reflects on all the times he’s hung up the phone thinking he’d helped her open a jar saying “Well, its a good thing she called me!”- sold me. One thing which I didn’t like was his voice. I found it to be annoying. I’m realizing that that is something which ruins the experience for me. I prefer to read, and place my own voices within the story.

My other favorite was Act 13 “More Lies”. Catherine and John, two college undergrads, are babysitting together, and eventually get hungry. However, John is uncomfortable and suggests they only eat that which the family has a lot of and then proceeds to hide the evidence. However, when the family returns they are caught red handed and the evidence drops out of John’s bag leading them to make a series of ridiculous explanations. This story is totally relatable to me. Yes, babysitting is REALLY about watching the kids BUT it’s also very much about getting to eat awesome kids snacks like fruit snacks and fruit roll up! Two things which I have no excuse to keep in my own house. I loved the humor and the laughter with which it was told. I felt that those stories which had the storyteller laughing helped in making the story and voice seem more authentic.

When listening to each Act, I was more drawn to the short, sweet, and funny ones. When it comes to hearing stories, I always feel uncomfortable listening to sad stories. I like hearing funny ones and having a god laugh. I also like to hear stories that I can definitely relate to which causes me to laugh even more. Although, all the Acts were great, these three stuck out to me and triggered some kind of happy emotion.

Act 8, The Greatest Dog Name in the World– “I wanted to name him Pasta.” This was probably the funniest name I’ve ever heard. This story is one I can definitely relate to. The fact that these children compromised of Pasta Batman is great. This story gives you a vivid picture of the relationship between these brothers. They bicker over gum-balls and dog names. I honestly felt that this was the greatest dog name in the world.

Act 9, Of Dogs and Men– This story was short and sweet, and yet another story I can relate to. It made me laugh because there is a correlation between dogs and men, well to women there are. For the man to allow his wife to put a collar on him and yank him is hilarious. It also relates to the phrase, “Keep him on a leash,” and that was exactly what she did!

Act 16, That One Guy at the Office– Matt, the guy who sits by the printer. I found it amusing that being that he sits by the printer, people find a correlation between him and the printer. Sadly, Matt had no idea about anything regarding the printer. I found it hilarious that the only conversations he has with his coworkers regard the printer. He has been there more than a year and no one even knows his name. This is ANOTHER story I relate to because at my current job I am referred to as “the girl with the face.” I know how it feels Matt.