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Cover Letter, How to Make My Essay Better?

Dear Readers,

Thank you for reading my essay.

My goal was to create suspense, share a truthfully story from my past and how has it has shaped my perspective towards life

I surely would benefit from:  “Unity of tense” (Zinsser p50)

Although I believe the essay flowed nicely. It would have been delightful, if I allowed you to time travel through my story in an effortless manner, by employing the “Unity of tense.”

I  also should have shared a better understanding of the dynamics of my uncle’s life and personality.

I should have provided you with an example of how this event has changed my life.

Furthermore, I could have explored the African American connection that my family shares with President Obama.

Thanks,

Jay

One response so far

One Response to “Cover Letter, How to Make My Essay Better?”

  1. CSmithon Feb 18th 2013 at 12:07 pm

    Please post essay drafts and cover letters on your own personal blog (which I’ve created a link to from our class blog).

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