Life In The Big City

#THATSANONO

Let’s begin with what not to wear.

You will probably get rejected at the most selective clubs and restaurants in NYC if you dress like…

1- Fresh from the “Jersey Shore,” Nalbone sported a wide-open Juicy Couture velour hoodie — revealing a tanned and chiseled chest with a huge blinged-out cross, spiked-up hair and tight white pants.

2- A 40-something cougar, outfitted in a skinny-strap dress, certainly shouldn’t belong.

3- Nerds and hipsters are sometimes hard to tell apart — but everything about Sheed, down to the high-waist pants, decade-old striped short-sleeve shirt and the masking-taped spectacles, screamed, “The Steves [Urkel and Jobs] have got nothing on me!”

4-If the combination of the pink Converse sneakers and a floor-length peasant dress that could be right out of the show “Big Love” got rejected on first glance, the grandma-style frames are sure to do it too.

5- With a noxious floral-patterned ’80s tie, beat-up briefcase and absent-minded professor-style tweed jacket, the suburban dad stuck out like a sore thumb in the Meatpacking District’s land of hard-partying 20-somethings.