AMRITA SANDHU – WHO ARE YOU?
This is, honestly, a really daunting assignment for me. I hate writing about myself. I feel the need to be witty when, in reality, I’m very often too lazy to be clever. While I seem to be on a mental spree of listing my flaws…I procrastinate way to much (ex: it’s 3:03 AM on Friday morning and this is due by 12 PM later today {Mr. Medina probably hates me as he’s reading this}), I am easily distracted (lately: mainly by my laptop and its plethora of uses), I have a horrible sleep pattern, and I digress, all the time; I usually lose sight of what I had originally started talking about.
I might be slightly exaggerating, but these facts are probably more interesting than the positive aspects of my personality. Either way, I’ll let you be the judge of that.
Anyhow, I’m throwing myself head-on into this as of now. I have a feeling that once I start typing, this entry will go far beyond what it’s supposed to be. My thoughts might come off as random at times; it will probably just be a reflection of me “typing out loud.” I hope you can keep up. ;]
If you haven’t already guessed, I am Indian, and this plays a bigger part in my life than most people know. I don’t really flaunt it, but I am obsessed with it. I grew up watching Bollywood movies. I make it a point to see newer ones, or even old ones, whenever I have some free time. I memorize, sing, and dance to the songs, idolize the actors, and live through the stories. I try and see it all – the good and sometimes even the bad. I can speak and understand Hindi. And, my parents are both amazing cooks, so I eat A LOT of Indian food.
Speaking of my parents…I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am without them, but I never want to be like them.
Like most “Asian parents,” mine were extremely strict about school, grades, homework, and the like. I would start crying in class if I got lower than a 90 because I would be scared to come home and show my parents. Sometimes, when I look back on those times, I think “Maybe I just exaggerate it because I was a kid then and my memory of the past is distorted,” but then I look at how they deal with my sister (who’s a sophomore in high school) and her school-related work, and just shake my head – “No. I was right.” But I truly thank them. They instilled the importance of an education for me without expecting anything in return. They only want to see me succeed and do well.
I give them credit for giving my sister and I great morals and values, but, in the same token, I feel the constant need to send them to PARENTING 101 classes (I’m sure such a thing exits somewhere). The constant fights, the verbal and physical abuse, the guilt trips – too much time wasted on them and not enough time to type about it. I have managed to almost completely detach myself from this side of them, but there will always be a part of me stuck in the middle, and I hate it. I feel even worse for my sister, who is used as a mediator most of the time. She has no time to be a kid and just live her own life! It makes me want to rip my hair out, sometimes, even theirs. As sad as it sounds, I am most looking forward to living on my own, alone. I look forward to coming home and not having to deal with my mom sulking in the kitchen over a building pile of dirty dishes, my sister sulking in the living room staring blankly at the TV, and my dad sulking in his bedroom in front of his computer. School and work have become my temporary escape.
But we all grow up, move on, and live our own lives – we have to. I don’t want anyone thinking that my life is a complete sob story; the last thing I want is anyone feeling sorry for me. I enjoy my life. The other day, my english teacher said “The key to enjoying life… is to enjoy life!” and as redundant as it may sound it is completely true. I guess I can tie in the title of my blog with this idea. VIVRE SANS REGRET – french-to-english translation: LIVE WITHOUT REGRET (and don’t do anything stupid that you know you will definitely regret one day). Live life to the fullest and fill it with whatever makes you happy.
I was raised a Catholic but haven’t really practiced it in the past 3 years, so I’m not really sure what happens after we die, but if we spend our time needlessly worrying about the “afterlife” and whether it exists or not, then we miss out on so much in real-life! I intend on getting as much education as my brain can possibly handle. We never really stop being students anyway. We’re constantly learning more with every moment. I also want to be rich. I would love to be a psychologist, freelance photographer/artist, a musician, a singer, a fashion designer, a professional jewelry maker, an interior designer, a stylist, a model, a bum that lives a lavish life and makes a ton of money for doing nothing…and a couple of other things I can’t think of right now.
For now, however, I’m thinking of majoring in International Business and minoring in French. I’m also really serious about studying abroad next year. It would be in London and would be a year-long program, but I think that’s exactly what I need. I plan on using Baruch, the honors’ program, and all the benefits that come with them to their fullest potential. With the help of my friends and family, I might even be able to overcome those flaws listed earlier and actually make it through freshman year. All I know for sure is that it’s going to be an adventure – definitely with it’s ups and downs, but I wouldn’t ask for it to be anything else.
If you made it through this entire post, then thank you so much for reading! If you didn’t really read my post and you’re eye just happened to catch this line, then I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. :]
SIGNING OFF!
TIME: 3:58 AM
SONG OF THE MOMENT: Electric Feel by MGMT