I’d like to think of myself as a good writer. When the time comes to write a paper on a subject, I’m able to manage with little to no difficutly whatsoever. That’s also a problem I have. I can only write about a certain subject or in other words, “summarize”. Ever since high school, thesis papers have been the only kind of assignments that have seriously hurt me academically in english. I just can’t seem to grasp the concept of a thesis and how to make one. At this point in writing it’s just weird and honestly it troubles me. It’s like being placed in Calculus without ever having a firm understanding of multiplication. As for progress, I haven’t started yet.

This paper is a bit different from the last. It is because I have my ideas formulated and I know/understand what I am writing about, or at least going to write about, much better than before. I already have my my introduction and thesis statement written down, but I feel that my thesis could be much better than it is right now. This has been my main problem, writing a really strong thesis, or at least one that I am happy with. This is hard because I am so hard on my writing sometimes that I believe it is never good enough.

Another really strong difficulty I am having, but I believe will be overcome much easier, is finding quotes to fit what I want to say because it is an extensive book, but I feel this will be easy to overcome. I believe that this essay will be challenging but my ideas will flow much better from the last paper so I think that its not going to be too bad.

Writing this paper I feel lost. Where as in the first paper I felt proud of what I was writing, at this point I’m a mixture of tired, confused, and a bit angry. I don’t know why but I just can’t seem to get anything going.

I have somehow gotten 4 pages, but I’m not sure how good those 4 pages are. It’s really frustrating but hopefully with some peer review my paper can turn into something good.

i am going crazy about this essy. i dont like essays, especially if its over one page. (yes i know, im very lazy when it comes to writing. im more of a practical person when it comes to activities. i just get restless when it comes to sitting down for over an hour and thinking about how annoying and tedious writing can be. but enough about ranting, ill talk about my thesis.

I feel like stating in my thesis how rebecca skloot gives herself too much glory in the fact that she kind of personifies herself as the hero of the story. i would also talk about how deception is a big factor. the main theme would be about deception, not heroism. Although i woud mention that Skloot treats heself as a hero, i will concentrate more on how she indirectlly glorifies herself as the person who “saved” Henrietta Lacks from being an insignificant being instead of letting her become some nameless patient who died of cancer.

I think the fact that im typing this late shows how much im struggling with college right now. The next week alone there are so many assignments and so much work i have to do im strongly considering dropping a class just so i can get this essay done. I have a general idea  of what i want to write about but im still trying to finish the book. Theres just so much on my plate right now im not exactly sure how ill get it all done. I thinking dropping my science class would give me  enough time in the morning to get sleep and to start working on my english paper. Im not dure how im going to structure it but i feel like having more time andbless work would help me sort out howill get this paper done.

With the rough draft due date coming up in 2 days i havent even started on mine, ive been busy studying for the bio midterm as well as the math midterm that are both going to be within a week from today. I have an idea of what my thesis will be but thats about it. Im planning to make my thesis contradict the standard view which is “deception is bad” and show how altho deception is considered wrong and is frowned upon by society, it is also in many cases necesary. Other then that basic idea i have no clue how to tackle this essay and if its even possible with all the other midterms coming up.

This paper, unlike the first, has me feeling somewhat confident because i can clearly see an answer and a topic to write about and when we wrote the thesis in class one came to mind immediately. I did the same thing last time and that didn’t turn out so well though so we’ll see how this goes. This one will be better though, and the assignment is more clear cut.

I think that the only real problem I’m going to have with this paper is length. I’ve never been very good at putting detail into my writing as I’m more of a straight to the point kind of guy. I just hope that I dont panic midway through and start throwing useless details and all matter of fluff to make the paper longer.

I do need a hero…to help me with this upcoming essay. Now, I am not entirely new to this whole long essay writing thanks to my Junior English teacher (Shout-out :)) And it’s so funny and deja-vu like because he had us focus on writing an essay about heroism from a book too! Of course I lost this essay so no help there but I was introduced to this whole “Hero Circle-of-Fun System” before. So when Professor Kaufman first proposed the original hero essay question a light bulb went off in my head, now these light bulbs are not always that bright meaning that if you are not me then there is a huge chance that you will laugh at my light bulb which to each its own so whatever. You know how the examples of who the hero is to you was given. Well I thought that a much longer essay could be written analyzing who the hero’s are to each individual person. See, I feel that since everyone is there own individual and everyone thinks differently there is bound to be some difference in the thought process of who is a hero. And, I think that it would be interesting to see through how an individual views the issue or states their point of view influences who they think is a hero.

I am a little hesitant about my thought process because I don’t know if anyone will like it especially the person grading it. And after hearing other people’s theses I’m just like “Damn, that’s deep.” I can’t come up with things like that. And I might be wrong in the way I think. I guess I’ll just have to bear my teeth, write that essay, and wait and see.

I’ve been really behind lately so I’m just going to catch up by writing this “free-blog” post first. Today was a horrible day. I got sick and for the life of me could not stay and go to the classes. So I left and went to the hospital instead pushing my way through the doors marked “Emergency”. Signed myself in, had myself checked by the nurse, filled out some paper work and started to wait. I waited and waited but since I’m a patient person (especially when I’m sick since I just don’t care about the world) it didn’t bother me. I know that hospital staff has it hard and I wouldn’t want to be the one to make their life any harder because I personally hate difficult people. So after waiting for over an hour the good doctor came out, called “Julia?” and led me to a room where she got right to asking me questions and examining what the hell was wrong with me. After she concluded whatever she concluded she informed me that the nurse would be right in and I would be hooked to an IV machine and all would be swell from there. So I’m thinking “Yay.” my suffering will soon be over. However, before it was I got to wait some more. I read some philosophy, played some games on my phone and finally the nurse came in, put a needle in me and left me there saying “I’ll see ya in a sec.” I don’t know what her definition of a “sec” is but it sure as hell is not the same as mine. I waited and waited and waited. It was crazy that day with a trauma patient and several arguments breaking out because other people were waiting too; but I was patient because again I felt bad. So I waited in that room for a total of five hours finding things to take up my time with but it’s kind of hard…actually it was impossible. My head started to hurt because I was so hungry but yet this IV machine would not come. By this time I have healed my own self, was freezing, and was praying to the good Lord to send me home. The Lord sends my father along and he being an impatient man that is not shy asks to see the doctor. The doctor comes and is shocked to see that nothing has been done to me. Of course, the nurse had forgotten about me completely. I wasn’t mad because I understood there were others there in much more critical cases but I did feel kinda hurt since me and the nurse had a nice, funny conversation and I trusted that she would take care of me. Bioethics much? When does the hospital system become impersonal? My doctor said “I can’t let you leave till you feel better because I’m your doctor it’s my job.” Shouldn’t every doctor have this mind-set? But I guess it is harder when you have so many patients during the day, but is it really OK to forget about one patient because another one is more ill or should we, as patients, all be treated equally in a system such as this one? Anyway moral of the story, speak up and remind people you’re there because being forgotten really sucks and can cost you A LOT of time. 🙂

Oh my glob. I have not gotten over my anxiety of writing. I’m still afraid of writing. The thesis statement is still not coming to mind. But I now understand the role of deception in the book. A line from an all time low song that I connected to the book was “you’re not a hero. You’re a liar.” It’s from the song “Heroes” from all time low’s album Dirty work. Rebecca Skloot is not a hero. She used certain words in her story telling to make it seem like she was one. She also made it seem like she was the only one to care about Henrietta as a person and made it seem like the doctors only cared about her cells.
The page requirements for this paper has made me really afraid. I have never written any paper this long before. I have no idea how I’m going to keep writing for 5-7 pages. I’m also afraid because my last paper was not great. But that’s just how I write. I don’t know how to analyze. I feel like I’m analyzing but it just ends up being summary. And then I feel like my paper has no focus and I’m just all over the place. I’m just so concerned with writing. I never liked it. I was never good at it. I wish I had a way with words like some people do. Like when people write in such clever ways I’m just like, “why can’t I think like you.” Uugghh. My life.