With the rough draft due date coming up in 2 days i havent even started on mine, ive been busy studying for the bio midterm as well as the math midterm that are both going to be within a week from today. I have an idea of what my thesis will be but thats about it. Im planning to make my thesis contradict the standard view which is “deception is bad” and show how altho deception is considered wrong and is frowned upon by society, it is also in many cases necesary. Other then that basic idea i have no clue how to tackle this essay and if its even possible with all the other midterms coming up.

This paper, unlike the first, has me feeling somewhat confident because i can clearly see an answer and a topic to write about and when we wrote the thesis in class one came to mind immediately. I did the same thing last time and that didn’t turn out so well though so we’ll see how this goes. This one will be better though, and the assignment is more clear cut.

I think that the only real problem I’m going to have with this paper is length. I’ve never been very good at putting detail into my writing as I’m more of a straight to the point kind of guy. I just hope that I dont panic midway through and start throwing useless details and all matter of fluff to make the paper longer.

I do need a hero…to help me with this upcoming essay. Now, I am not entirely new to this whole long essay writing thanks to my Junior English teacher (Shout-out :)) And it’s so funny and deja-vu like because he had us focus on writing an essay about heroism from a book too! Of course I lost this essay so no help there but I was introduced to this whole “Hero Circle-of-Fun System” before. So when Professor Kaufman first proposed the original hero essay question a light bulb went off in my head, now these light bulbs are not always that bright meaning that if you are not me then there is a huge chance that you will laugh at my light bulb which to each its own so whatever. You know how the examples of who the hero is to you was given. Well I thought that a much longer essay could be written analyzing who the hero’s are to each individual person. See, I feel that since everyone is there own individual and everyone thinks differently there is bound to be some difference in the thought process of who is a hero. And, I think that it would be interesting to see through how an individual views the issue or states their point of view influences who they think is a hero.

I am a little hesitant about my thought process because I don’t know if anyone will like it especially the person grading it. And after hearing other people’s theses I’m just like “Damn, that’s deep.” I can’t come up with things like that. And I might be wrong in the way I think. I guess I’ll just have to bear my teeth, write that essay, and wait and see.

I’ve been really behind lately so I’m just going to catch up by writing this “free-blog” post first. Today was a horrible day. I got sick and for the life of me could not stay and go to the classes. So I left and went to the hospital instead pushing my way through the doors marked “Emergency”. Signed myself in, had myself checked by the nurse, filled out some paper work and started to wait. I waited and waited but since I’m a patient person (especially when I’m sick since I just don’t care about the world) it didn’t bother me. I know that hospital staff has it hard and I wouldn’t want to be the one to make their life any harder because I personally hate difficult people. So after waiting for over an hour the good doctor came out, called “Julia?” and led me to a room where she got right to asking me questions and examining what the hell was wrong with me. After she concluded whatever she concluded she informed me that the nurse would be right in and I would be hooked to an IV machine and all would be swell from there. So I’m thinking “Yay.” my suffering will soon be over. However, before it was I got to wait some more. I read some philosophy, played some games on my phone and finally the nurse came in, put a needle in me and left me there saying “I’ll see ya in a sec.” I don’t know what her definition of a “sec” is but it sure as hell is not the same as mine. I waited and waited and waited. It was crazy that day with a trauma patient and several arguments breaking out because other people were waiting too; but I was patient because again I felt bad. So I waited in that room for a total of five hours finding things to take up my time with but it’s kind of hard…actually it was impossible. My head started to hurt because I was so hungry but yet this IV machine would not come. By this time I have healed my own self, was freezing, and was praying to the good Lord to send me home. The Lord sends my father along and he being an impatient man that is not shy asks to see the doctor. The doctor comes and is shocked to see that nothing has been done to me. Of course, the nurse had forgotten about me completely. I wasn’t mad because I understood there were others there in much more critical cases but I did feel kinda hurt since me and the nurse had a nice, funny conversation and I trusted that she would take care of me. Bioethics much? When does the hospital system become impersonal? My doctor said “I can’t let you leave till you feel better because I’m your doctor it’s my job.” Shouldn’t every doctor have this mind-set? But I guess it is harder when you have so many patients during the day, but is it really OK to forget about one patient because another one is more ill or should we, as patients, all be treated equally in a system such as this one? Anyway moral of the story, speak up and remind people you’re there because being forgotten really sucks and can cost you A LOT of time. 🙂

Oh my glob. I have not gotten over my anxiety of writing. I’m still afraid of writing. The thesis statement is still not coming to mind. But I now understand the role of deception in the book. A line from an all time low song that I connected to the book was “you’re not a hero. You’re a liar.” It’s from the song “Heroes” from all time low’s album Dirty work. Rebecca Skloot is not a hero. She used certain words in her story telling to make it seem like she was one. She also made it seem like she was the only one to care about Henrietta as a person and made it seem like the doctors only cared about her cells.
The page requirements for this paper has made me really afraid. I have never written any paper this long before. I have no idea how I’m going to keep writing for 5-7 pages. I’m also afraid because my last paper was not great. But that’s just how I write. I don’t know how to analyze. I feel like I’m analyzing but it just ends up being summary. And then I feel like my paper has no focus and I’m just all over the place. I’m just so concerned with writing. I never liked it. I was never good at it. I wish I had a way with words like some people do. Like when people write in such clever ways I’m just like, “why can’t I think like you.” Uugghh. My life.

So here i am once again anxious, nervous and stressed before completing my first draft. I always tend to find myself brainstorming a million thoughts and ideas relating to the book and the topic but of course when its time to tie them all together and transcribe them on paper..my mind hits the wall and im in brain coma. Once professor Kauffman chose my topic as one of the options i thought phew “this is gonna be a breeze cuz duh i thought of it” errrr wrong! with my mind running in so many different directions i might just end up writing about all three topics.

However, lately i do feel like i see the light of hope and decided to somehow merge topic #1 and #3…fingers crossed. Hopefully we once again have the one on one conferences with the professor since it actually did help me in terms of organizing my thoughts and correcting my reckless unsupported claims. With the reference of a fairly interesting book along with my opinion on the topics, i feel that this essay at some point will be better than the previous one and will more clearly justify my claims for the topics

Due to the incredible wall of frustration I was faced with when writing the first paper I immediately began to dread the second. After receiving the prompts for the second paper though and brainstorming a bit about it already I can say the dark cloud above my head is clearing up! All I’ve achieved so far is a tangled mess of my thoughts while we frantically wrote down everything that came to mind during class. Just this small edge is all I need though to approach this paper full throttle.

I think most of my troubles with the first paper was the fact that I was too close to it, it was too personal a subject for me to easy write about for a school assignment. My mind is much more focused going into this paper and that relieves a lot of the stress of writing it. Now all I have to do is sift through that furst burst of ideas and opinions and zero in on exactly what I want to write about.

Well it’s finally happened! “It” being me finally remembering to post a blog for today. As it stands now, the first half of my task has been accomplished. The second half would be to actually think of an interesting topic to post and relate it to bioethics. I suppose it can’t be too difficult because if you really think about, anything can be related to bioethics in some way. Take this blog site for instance, there are obvious benefits for students to have such a resource at their disposal as they can freely share their thoughts with others or help each other when someone is in need of an outside source’s opinion on a subject. However, doesn’t that also appear to be a drawback? I might just be over thinking things but doesn’t having the ability to get the opinions of others on a topic diminsh one’s individuality? It’s an odd thought but just bare with me. The last time my class discussed their blog posts, there were some who admitted to checking the posts of others before starting their own to get a sense of what to talk about. Hell, I admit that I’m guilty for doing that before starting this very post before realizing that it’s a “freeblog” or something (I lost my syllabus). Anyway, I think individuality is very important and something everyone should have but being the social creatures that we naturally are, thinking and acting for oneself would seem to go against our nature but I believe that we, as humans, are a very compotent species that are capable of going against our nature. Now I feel like I’m rambling so I guess I’ll finish this post with a quote. Oscar Wilde once said “A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.”

Anyone who watched the latest presidential debate could sense the bloodlust in the room. Throughout the entire debate Obama and Romney where at each others throats. I think that the behavior between the two presidential candidates was ridiculously unprofessional, you’d expect that kinda behavior in second grade, not the white house. I believe that there should be at least some kind of mutual respect between the candidates.

What do you guys think?