I Can't Even Open My Mouth: Response to Deborah

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There are a few concepts that struck me about Deborah Tannen’s “I Can’t Even Open My Mouth.”  Deborah Tannen writes, “Family members have innumerable opportunities to witness our faults and feel they have the right to point them out.”  She previously wrote of the care that should exist between family members and I find it rather ironic that she also chooses to mention the pain a family member can cause you.  However, I also find it normal.  Deborah Tannen also writes, “theirs are the eyes…” and “theirs are the standards…”.  These two sentences in the introduction amazed me.  They amazed me by simply being true in my life.  Many have been the times that I’ve measured my life as a man and even my fatherhood against my father’s life and fatherhood.  Deborah Tannen also gave a superb explanation concerneing messages and metamessages.  This comparison between actual messages and perceived messages is very similar to the actual meaning of a word and its connotation(s).  Albeit, messages and metamessages are much more profound.  In short, she gives a detailed comparison concerning what is actually said and the metamessage-the connotative or implicit meaning one may receive from what is said.  Deborah Tannen also writes “emotions are the currency of relationships.”  That, to me is a profound intellectuall thought.  Basically put, emotions are the “item” traded between individuals.  Emotions can purchase a healthy relationship but can also purchase a distant relationship.  This is a concise version of the best of what struck me.