Andrea Castro

When I started reading Jerry Saltz’s How to be an Artist, his first lesson already caught me off guard, Lesson 1: Don’t be Embarrassed. I am already struggling in the first lesson, which is laughable to me. I just feel like my work can be too personal sometimes, or I struggle to even part with it. Most of the time, I am a harsh critic of myself, so when I don’t feel confident about my work, I don’t want to show it. It’s terrible. A terrible habit that I need to grow out of. 

I also struggle with Lesson 26. I am so often jealous of other people’s works or techniques and tend to compare myself often with them. I am very self-critical. When Saltz wrote, “Too bad they have a trust fund, went to better schools, married someone rich, are better looking, have thinner ankles, are more social, have better connections, or use their connections, networking skills, and education. Too bad you’re shy.” It felt like an ego blow because he is 100 percent right. There is always going to be someone better, someone, who has more advantages in life. All we have to do in life is to be brave to be ourselves unapologetically. In the same way, I had started to go to events alone because I was always afraid to go alone, or to wait on people just for them to cancel, which is the same way I should go about when it comes to my art. 

This also relates to Lessons 24 and 33 for me. Being delusional is what I try to do all the time. For example, when I go out for an event I have to hype myself out to dance in the crowd or to talk to new people. I have to tell myself I am awesome, I am a cool person, and it doesn’t matter what other people think. Though I do tend to care a lot. I have to imagine that I am someone else to gain the confidence to be more myself if that makes sense. If not, the shyness takes over and I become reclusive and mute. 

Peruvian Alfajores, yummm.