Everyone knows about the social stigma that crying in public is shameful and embarrassing. From early childhood, we are taught when and where it is appropriate to cry. Boys have this stigma tied more closely to them than girls because it’s taught that boys should never cry. Boys are taught from society and family members, especially from their fathers that if you cry “you’re a sissy.” However, overall crying is viewed by society as a weakness and something that should be done behind closed doors.
This article talks about being “alone together” in NYC. Being “alone together” suggests social isolation in public. There are all these people around us in public but yet we all seem to create our own wall with ipods, cellphones, etc which connects us to a world outside of where we are, creating the illusion of privacy. Therefore, when we see someone crying in public we don’t reach out or say anything, we don’t break through their wall of privacy.
This article ties in with the topic of anonymity versus privacy which we spoke about in the first week of class, however, the author of this article poses the question, “Is public expression of emotions like crying shifting as a stigma and becoming more acceptable due to all of the devices we carry and essentially being “alone together?” It is more likely that we will receive news of a family members death or a break up phone call or text (not cool) and cause us to express our emotions in public. Now if we all understand this then is it more acceptable to express these emotions in public?
Since we are “alone together” and have our own private wall set up then we must feel okay about crying in our own spaces. I don’t know about you but even if I had my ipod on I would still feel weird and embarrassed crying on the subway. I guess I have internalized the stigma that comes along with crying in public. I believe that just because we are “alone together” in NYC doesn’t mean that people still aren’t watching, passing judgment and essentially stigmatizing. What do you think?
What an interesting article and argument. New Yorkers often keep to themselves and it can be a hard thing to try and move here without already knowing people. We all tend to fall back on technology to avoid awkward situations. Who hasn’t broken out there phone and pretended to text in order to avoid someone or a particular situation? Crying in public is a tricking thing to solve because it’s not something any of us are doing or experiencing every day. Generally I would personally mind my own business unless the person looked as if they were going to hurt themselves or someone else. It’s true that men who cry are looked down upon, especially if they are showing their emotion to everyone in a public place like a crowded subway. Women are seen as the weaker sex and as being overly emotional, so crying has become generally more acceptable way for a woman to solve her problems or express her feelings. I understand the author’s concept of being alone together because we are bombarded with the sights of so many people daily, but almost never try and get to know these people. How can we be blamed though, we generally like being left alone and it isn’t exactly easy to start a conversation with a stranger. Regardless of the technology surrounding us, we will always essentially be alone most of the time and stigmatized by others around us, especially if we are showing emotion.