Failing Harder
Frank Vincent
February,16,2024
Failing Harder
Failure has never been something I stray away from, while laziness often stopped me from giving my all to things. I’ve loved skating but struggled to focus on it since I was a kid. Whenever I tried tough tricks, I’d often quit halfway through. Starting when I was only ten years old. Every time I would get close to landing a difficult trick I’d give up, sometimes even in the middle of an attempt.
This mindset caught up to me when I was skating street spots near Oval Skate Park trying to land tricks back to back. It was a boardslide down a handrail to then ollie down five stairs after. I was having difficulty getting the tricks back to back because I wasn’t fully committing. Slam after slam onto the floor, I began to concentrate less and less. I felt myself being lazy. I know the effort I put in wasn’t my all. It was an extremely frustrating process. I could normally do the tricks by myself but while trying them back to back I couldn’t land them. During my last attempt, I kicked out at the last second causing me to land on one of my feet. All pressure and weight pushed onto the foot, completely fracturing the bone and breaking it in 3 places. I never thought my laziness would put me out of skating. I was then in shock and adrenaline kicked in. My foot aching and feeling swollen so I decided to skate home with my broken foot and give up not being able to finish the trick. Skating home with a broken foot wasn’t the worst part. I just kept playing the event back in my head. I kept telling myself “If I was fully committed I would have landed it.”
Once I got to my house my mom saw how swollen my foot was and instantly took me to the hospital. Waiting to find out how badly my foot was broken felt like forever. All I could think about was the constant idea of me not pushing myself. Luckily I didn’t break anything else but my foot and my pride. I couldn’t skate for months while my foot healed.
During those months inside I had so much time to think about my failure. If I had just landed it earlier without kicking out my foot wouldn’t have been broken. I’d have been able to walk without being stuck inside a room. I hated how much I felt I could have done better knowing myself. “Next time I’ll come back better,” I’d tell myself. It felt like for months I was physically blocked from doing anything I wanted to do outside and was forced to only do inside activities. During the second month of being home, I adapted to being inside and more productive, learning how laziness was just a mindset and could be pushed through with perseverance. The foot I broke has since fully healed and I was able to return to skating. My mindset now makes me push myself to try on anything I set my mind to fully. Pushing myself has been one of the greatest things I could have done putting in all my effort into multiple internships I’ve taken with having to be able to build a website for a company. If you’re going to do something, put 100% of yourself into it. The best outcome only is achieved when you put the effort in to learn and fully commit.
Hi Frank,
Thank you for sharing your story.
My main feedback revolves around the structure of the piece and the semantics used throughout your writing.
-First, I really like the way you begin your piece. However, I think the leade of the piece is buried in the first few sentences. I think you could enhance the beginning of the narrative, adding more personal details and allowing the reader to visualize your internal thoughts.
-I also think that by using some strong words, such as changing the word laziness to more of a phrase. Like when you say “I never thought my laziness would put me out in skating.” Maybe replacing that sentence with “I never thought my inability to persevere and dedication would cause me to feel like a failure in my time spent skating.”
-Additionally, I think changing the order of a few of your paragraphs may logically make more sense for this piece, but of course, the structure is the author’s decision in the end.
-As for the semantics of the piece, I think connecting some of the sentences, especially at the start, will make your writing sound less choppy. I also think making paragraph breaks within your writing will make the structure clearer and also separate your thoughts.
A few minor points:
-I really like the dialogue you include. I think around this dialogue is where you could enhance your internal thoughts.
-I like that you discuss slowly the process of what happened after you hurt your foot (how your mom took you to the hospital, etc.) In this paragraph, maybe adding the reaction of your mother to your incident or adding your conversation on the way to the hospital would be effective for this piece and may slow things down even more.
-I also liked the ending of this piece. It ties the writing together and helps the piece flow. The last sentence is especially strong.
A few questions to be clarified:
-Are you planning on extending your writing and do you have any other parts of the narrative in mind?
Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or inquiries relating to the above.
Regards,
Alexis Farber
Hi Frank,
Feedback wise I think your essay is really good. I admired the initial transparency in how you felt about embracing failure. I feel like your approach to working harder and reflection on things was real. The writing in itself was relate-able and reminded me of the way many people in general tend to process things.
I feel like the way you describe your teachable moment was creative and overall a really strong piece.
A few minor points:
Again overall I think the content and purpose of your essay was really good.
I feel like structure wise there could be more paragraph spacing to differentiate between the different points in the narrative.
A few questions clarified:
The doctor visit was cut short in the narrative, was that experience in itself significant even before you knew what the outcome would be?
Was there an exact moment you learned laziness was a mindset?, what inspired you to get there during your wanting period? Described in the final paragraph.
“Learning how laziness was just a mindset and could be pushed through with perseverance.” (Failing Harder, Vincent)
Feel free to reach out with any questions.
Sincerely Trichelle,
I enjoyed how you expressed your journey of learning resilience and the importance of quality over quantity.
Tips:
Maybe describe what oval street park looked like, what was your day like prior to this major event? What prompted you to change your mindset? Overall, a little more specific details about your setting and context.
What was the activity that initiated your productivity after being at home? How did your mom react when she saw your foot? More dialogue would truly illustrate the scene for the reader.
Overall, I liked your essay I enjoyed the elements.