Reflection

  Reflection

The way I write begins with a larger idea of what I will write about with the concept that will be part of the glossary. However as I begin writing that is when I start adding details, tone, figurative language etc.. The content of my ideas often ends up varied in a sense that sometimes I still have to brainstorm to make the piece more complete but sometimes I have to trim it down as it exceeds the limits. When I was writing this narrative, I wrote the first two paragraphs, then took a break, finished the second and if I am being totally honest rushed the ending as I wrote it at a later time.. Also when I was writing sentence by sentence I often tended to overthink and change the same sentence multiple times, but when I knew it ahead it seemed to put down significantly easier. I incorporated feedback from the workshop by simplifying my work and removing unnecessary information. One improvement that I still believe I could make is to transition better in between topics. Although the whole essay focuses on one main idea, it has multiple different parts to it in between which I could shift better.

  5 Areas for Improvement:

1. “The instant you see and think about anyone is the time when you start to paint the canvas.”

This just wasn’t really a strong opening sentence. 

2. “Find those people who’s canvas you want to fill and have your fill by, don’t be afraid, direct your own life.” This sentence is slightly awkward, although it makes sense in the context, by itself it could’ve been better.
3. “Try to have control over every decision you make.” Very broad and the statement was already conveyed throughout the paragraph so it could’ve been removed. 
4. 4.  “Everyone finds passions at different ages, they could even change throughout the years.” There were more details and interpretations that I could’ve added to this statement. 
5. “At the beginning of the year I had a pretty big contemplation, as I didn’t know if I should join the college’s soccer team as it was something that has practically defined me and has been a big color of the canvas my whole life.” This sentence kinda came out of nowhere and was a lot more personal compared to the rest of the narrative. Although I still feel like it fits in the conclusion it could have come about better.

Rubric

Communication of Value: The text has a clear conveyance of what the task is, while making the TM clear to its audience. 

Narrative Coherence and Development: The text uses relevant content to shape a personal narrative with a creative approach to deliver its TM. 

Narrative Conventions: The text has a creative use of a few different conventions such as; figurative language, organization, scenes, dramatization, formatting, presentation and other stylistic choices. 

Introduction: Introduction shows a compelling use of figurative language, with minor explanations which entice the reader for the rest of the narrative. 

Use of Language, Control of Syntax, and Mechanics: Language is clear and easy to understand. There are necessary breaks and straightforward explanations, making it easy for the reader to understand. 

Score: 19/20