Although I am not finished redrafting my researched argument, a lot of work has been done in the process of finalizing my paper. Peer review was beneficial in the revision process because my classmates’ comments gave me direction in areas that I needed it. Areas where I lack specificity improved, because many of the comments made by my classmates regarded this issue. For example, providing specific examples of how the media portrays celebrities in a flawless way. Doris advised me to use specific celebrities as examples and brought up great ideas such as photoshopped photos and filters. Also, something I was guided on in peer review was where to insert video clips, something I was unsure of where to locate. Additionally, where I talk about materialism, Doris brought up the idea of celebrity merchandise, and how people show off their love for their celebrity by purchasing their merchandise. One question I left in my unrevised paper that I highlighted was in regard to whether or not my next paragraph should focus on the effects of celebrity worship on the celebrity. We talked about this in peer review and my classmates thought it would be a good idea to show both perspectives. Next, I was unsure of whether or not I should expand on cancel culture. With feedback, I decided on briefly expanding on this segment and not going much deeper into it.
Within the next couple days, I still have a few tasks to complete before handing this assignment in. I want to branch off into the idea of the future for this topic. Specifically my stance on it, and maybe I will talk refer back to the J. Cole interview I quote earlier in the paper. I would do this because I could call upon J. Cole’s interesting perspective on the idea of celebrities, which is that he believes celebrities will not exist in a thousand years. My idea on the future of celebrity worship is that people should stop worshipping celebrities. I take the stance that celebrities are simply people like you or I, that only rose to popularity. At the end of the day, they are human just like us. If anything, admire them for their accomplishment rather than their fame or wealth. I sort of go into this towards the end of my paper, but I would like to expand on the idea. Other tasks on the agenda are to correctly cite my sources and to more so double check if my in-text citations are proper. Also, I need to revise how I bring up testimonies from doctors. Using, “Dr. (Name),” in my paper was something we critiqued in class discussion when looking at an example of a student essay in the textbook. Lastly, in each paper I wrote for this class, I discussed the horizon of possibility, which I want to do in this paper as well. Specifically in the paragraph where I will expand on the idea of the future of the topic.