Osmar’s Writer’s Letter for Major Project 1 Part 1

My revision process consisted of four additions to my literacy narrative: adding my voice, discourse artifacts, spatial elements, and my thoughts about moving forward in the discourse community of professional communication.

During the peer-review sessions with group 4, both of my peers commented on my lack of expression in the literacy narrative. My essay’s first draft sounded more of a hard-news article than a personal narrative about acquiring literacy in a discourse community because of the lack of my voice and first-person pronouns. I have made sure to add my voice in my newest draft of my literacy narrative as of September 29, 2021 by adding italicized monologues and a generally conversational tone. I also made sure to add various dialogue pieces.

During my second office hours session, Professor Muhlbauer suggested I add screenshots of the professional emails and communication that took place in my narrative in order for the reader to better visualize the progression of my literacy. I have accordingly added the Rebecca Patis email, YouthBridge-NY emails, Big Brothers Big Sisters of New York City email, and the Cyber Nation Central Microsoft Teams messages.

As demonstrated by Jorie Graham’s We, the reader experiences an essay or a written piece of work not only semantically, but visually or spatially as well. Professor Muhlbauer suggested that I break a paragraph whenever a line of internal monologue, a line taken from an email, or line of dialogue begins to illustrate the back and forth communication that takes place in the event depicted in the narrative. This awesome addition to my literacy narrative paints more vibrant pictures in the essay throughout.

I think my thoughts looking onward in my professional communication literacy are written very flatly, but they are an improvement from my second and first draft since I did not mention the future too much in the end. I will also make sure to write about what I do not know currently and what I’m aiming to learn.

For my next draft, I will employ more figurative language because I notice that my literacy narrative lacks any form of figurative language since the topic at hand conceptually strays from similes and metaphors, but I will try to link moments during my journey of acquiring literacy in professional email etiquette with more figurative elements of writing.

One thought on “Osmar’s Writer’s Letter for Major Project 1 Part 1

  1. I liked how you were able to pinpoint the four aspects of your revision process. Being able to take note of these additions to your essay, I’m sure, helped you to see how and in which ways your literacy narrative changed from the first draft to the second draft. My revision process is often messy and I can’t always articulate how I revise my work but your writer’s letter makes me want to be able to clearly identify my additions in my revision stage.

    I also liked how you worked to add your voice to your essay after you got comments that your essay was lacking expression. I think being able to bring your voice in your narrative is one of the main focuses of the literacy narrative so, I’m sure your essay became even more powerful after that addition!

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