San Junipero: Reality Beyond Constraints

Black Mirror is a worldwide known series on the streaming platform Netflix. It is known among its viewers for portraying the dark side of technology and the possible consequences of our growing dependency on technological innovation – significantly relevant in our current time of tech advancement. In a usual episode of the series, one would be introduced to a different kind of reality with a kind of technological implication. All episodes are mostly independent of each other and have the tendency to cause doubts and uncertainty among the audience which is -usually- only resolved and fully explained at the end of the episode causing reflection up to a certain extent.  The name “Black Mirror” refers to the screen of the device you are probably watching it on.

San Junipero is the 4th episode in the 3rd season of the series. Like all Black Mirror episodes, it invites the public to evaluate the implications of advanced technology, but this time with a particular point-of-view not typical of the series. In San Junipero, we are introduced to a stance of ethical-emotional retrospection of the use of technology associated with the science-fiction of virtual reality away from the chaotic theme usually found in the series. This Black Mirror’s episode goes beyond an anarchic story setting, even beyond technology. San Junipero depicts a moral dilemma in which real emotional variables and limitations play a major role, while still managing to cause reflection behind the ethics of a certain -ostensibly harmless- innovation. This is mostly why San Junipero is one of the most acclaimed episodes of the series; it has a different type of denouement and, although it still talks about technology, presents other types of ideas around it.

Kelly and Yorkie, San JUnipero

At the beginning of the episode, we see for the very first time a non-current and non-futuristic environment, actually, the setting of the episode appears to start in the ’80s in the small beach town of San Junipero. Here, we are introduced to our protagonists, Yorkie and Kelly. San Junipero seems like a fun place to be, in the first scenes we see lots of young people hanging at clubs, drinking, and dancing. Belinda Carlisle – “Heaven is a place on earth” playing in the background. Yorkie, a young woman wearing glasses and a nerdy outfit, enters a club; she seems to be overwhelmed by the number of people, by the music. Unlike everyone else there she seems to be uncomfortable with her surroundings, maybe even herself. This is when she meets Kelly, an outgoing young woman looking to enjoy the moment,

San Junipero is not a real place; it is virtual reality. The purpose of San Junipero is a place for the elderly to upload their conscience before dying, virtual heaven. For the most part of the episode, the audience is not aware of the situation; small hints are given but the characters refuse to speak of it as a simulation in a possible attempt to forget that what they are experiencing doesn’t belong to the real world. In avoidance of real-world terms they refer to those in the free weekly trial as “tourists” and those who have moved-in permanently as “locals”, both Kelly and Yorkie are visitors, only allowed to log-in once a week.

Yorkie had lived most of her life in a hospital bed. She became quadriplegic after a car accident that occurred consequently of telling her parents about her sexual orientation – which they did not agree with. Yorkie carried the limitations to her identity throughout her entire life and, at the age of 21, when she finally felt ready to come out as her true self and fully experience the world, her body stopped working, trapping her mind for the rest of her life. Many years later, San Junipero represented her opportunity to experience life, without the limitations of her unfunctional body. 

However, in the simulations, she still carries her emotional restrictions, like her apprehension to express what she feels – instead, she hides in her emotional comfort zone. An example of this is how she is wearing glasses in San Junipero although she does not really need them, since in the hyperreality her vision is unmarked. Yorkie: “The lenses don’t do anything; they are a comfort thing”. Yorkie’s glasses represent her authenticity as well. Kelly: “People try so hard to look how they think they should look; they probably saw it in a movie [referring to everyone else in San Junipero], but you [Yorkie], you are yourself”. Yorkie is not trying to relive her life or configure her identity, she is trying to explore what she was never able to experience, pick it up where she left it and continue discovering herself. Everyone else in San Junipero is pretty much trying to keep appearances of who they are, attempting to relive their youth and believe in the simulation.

In week 2, when Yorkie is getting ready to possibly meet Kelly again, she is trying different outfits, playing different songs in the background, and matching different clothes with different styles of makeup. In each makeover the camera focuses on her reflection in the mirror accompanied by her unnatural poses and her expressions of discomfort, this works to reveal the insincere nature of her makeovers. The event that for all those makeovers she attempted not to wear her glasses, could either mean she is trying to leave her constraints behind, or she is trying to be someone she is not. Which raises the interrogative of whether she is herself without her constraints. Also, when she moves permanently to San Junipero, the camera focuses her glasses on the sand, as she walks away from them and moves freely on the beach as she plays with the water. Although she does not need them, without her glasses -symbol of her identity- is she still Yorkie? And so, are her experiences genuine? 

In that aspect, it could be argued that her experiences in the simulation are fully emerging and expressive, meaning that San Junipero is as real as reality has been for Yorkie. Hence, her experiences are genuine since she has never lived those stages of her life and had nothing to compare it to; and so her character development in which she moves away from her emotional limitations represents how she becomes closer to her true self rather than acting as someone else. 

Yorkie and Kelly, Real World

On the other hand, although Kelly acts like a free spirit whose only purpose in San Junipero is having fun with no engagement, she too has constraints. Years ago, her husband, the love of her life, passed away and refused to be uploaded to San Junipero since their daughter died in an accident and she had no opportunity for an ensured afterlife. “How can I? When she missed out, how can I?”. Kelly is weighted by the haunting burden of her deceased husband and daughter who didn’t get a chance to live in that kind of virtual heaven; from her perspective, it would be hypocritical to stay in San Junipero given that her loved ones are lost forever. Therefore, she avoids any type of emotional compromise that might bind her to stick around. 

When Yorkie confronts Kelly in the bathroom of San Junipero in the simulated year of 2002, after Kelly has been avoiding her subsequently of their first emotional/sexual encounter the last week they met. Kelly looks at herself in the mirror, she is trying to keep appearances, she is trying to look the way she thinks she is supposed to and feel what she thinks is correct. After Yorkie expresses how she feels about what Kelly did, she storms out of the bathroom, Kelly is left alone. Again, Kelly looks at herself in the mirror and punches it, shattering the glass, her hand is unscratched, she looks back at the mirror and it is whole again. When Kelly punches the mirror, she ideologically breaks the simulation within herself, accepting her feelings for Yorkie. Then, the mirror repairs itself as a reminder that she is still inside a fictional reality. Kelly’s dilemma goes beyond any technical aspect of the simulation itself. In-between all the senseless fun she was offered in her weekly visits to San Junipero while awaiting death, she encounters emotions she was trying to avoid; tearing down the image she was attempting to keep and the promises she made to herself. 

“They are both people who have denied themselves, or have been denied, a whole aspect of their humanity in what you might call Life #1, and now they have a second shot at it.” Says Charlie Brooker, producer of the series, in an interview for Los Angeles Times.

Kelly is trapped under the guilt of the death of her family, she is clearly tempted to stay in San Junipero but it is her own burden the one that limits her away from the idea of starting again next to Yorkie. While stating her reasons, Kelly also portrays the possible ethical dysfunction of the simulation. “I don’t want to end up like all those lost f*cks in the Quagmire trying anything to feel something”. The Quagmire is a place, outside of town,  where some locals -bored of eternal life- go to seek arousal. It is pictured as a nasty and self-destructive place. Kelly, who has already lived a full life with entire experiences, demonstrates her fear of living forever and ending up like them. Displaying a possible downside to the simulated heaven, which she was using as an argument to convince herself of not staying. Although her real fear was that by taking a second chance in life, she would be failing her deceased family and betraying her own morals by taking the opportunity her husband rejected.

Nevertheless, just as Kelly dropped her influence on Yorkie and pushed her beyond her limitations; Yorkie convinced Kelly that although she was able to live her full life in the real world there is more to live for, more experiences to explore, and the opportunity to love once again. 

Kelly: [looking at the horizon in the real world] “All things considered, I guess I’m ready.”

Caregiver: “For what?”

Kelly: “The rest of it.”

San Junipero invites the viewers to wonder about the authenticity behind experiences in hyperreality by appealing to their emotional coherence; also raising the interrogative of personal truthfulness beyond one’s own constraints such as fear and anxiety. For the first time in the series, technology did not represent an antagonist figure but an opportunity. For the protagonists, the predicament itself was facing their emotions and distinguishing a real connection in a simulated world. For the episode, it does not seem to matter, simulation or not, what matters is the experience and that you are happy living it. Yorkie and Kelly were able to encounter genuine feelings in a simulated world, and this denotes that the experiences they lived and the character development that occurred had little to do with San Junipero being a virtual world but with the growth they caused within themselves. Unlike other episodes of Black Mirror, San Junipero has a joyful ending. The episode closes with shots of their data (minds) being stored while Kelly and Yorkie are driving into the sunset, all of it under a warm filter that denotes the upbeat moment. Belinda Carlisle – “Heaven is a place on earth” playing in the background.

 

A Universe Embedded in 60 Seconds

“It is 1958. IBM passes up the chance to buy a young, fledgling company that has just invented a new technology, called xerography. Two years later, Xerox was born and IBM has been kicking themselves ever since…In 1977, Apple, a young, fledgling company on the West Coast invents the Apple II, the first personal computer as we know it today. IBM dismisses the personal computer as too small to do serious computing and therefore unimportant to their business…1981. Apple II has become the world’s most popular computer, and Apple has grown to a 300-million-dollar corporation, becoming the fastest growing company in American history. With over 50 competitors vying for a share, IBM entered the personal computer market in November of 1981…”

Steve Jobs’s introductory speech at the Boston Computer society in 1984 was a powerful narrative. He deconstructs the world of computing technology into a war between the traditional, conservative-minded engineers and the new generation of rebellious, innovative geeks. He proposes, with reason, that the leader of the “old world,” IBM, wishes to use its market power to crush “fledgling” startups like his. To back up his claim, he presented the ad that will later be considered the best Super Bowl ad of all times. 

The ad starts with a gloomy scene inside of a tower: Infinitely deep, with transporting tunnels carrying people from one station to another. The people look dead, robotic, and walk in single file like army soldiers, except absent of any sign of consciousness. In the tunnels, there are security cameras everywhere, signals for total surveillance similar to the situation in the book 1984. In the next scene, an authoritarian figure speaks on a screen, in front of countless rows of viewers, eyes glued to the screen in dead silence, without a trace of emotion. “Today we celebrate the first glorious anniversary of the Information Purification Directives.”

This sci-fi plot is definitely not common for Super Bowl audiences. It is an immediate eye-catcher. Rather than offering a real-world story about how people enjoy a company’s products, like most of other ads, the creators of the 1984 ad had something else in mind. The choice of this unconventional genre allowed them to caricature a real-world situation instead, through the attachment of symbols to characters. Ultimately, the structure resulted in an allegory that assisted its creators and Apple in delivering their message in a subtle fashion. Reasonably, since the audience was exposed to a completely new genre, they would be intrigued to a greater extent than a regular, temporal ad would have. The media reports of the ad after its release is the proof, which will be discussed in detail.

Though presented ambiguously, it is clear that the characters in the ad each represent an entity in real life. The team creating the ad did not explicitly try to convince the audience that IBM is an evil and overwhelming force, but does that through the use of symbolism. Everyone sees and despises Big Brother and his attempt to obtain complete control, and no one wishes to be one of the passive, emotionless creatures–the millions of screws in a toxic engine. The lesson is that a part of the society is corrupted by dominant forces like IBM, and as participants, we should not blindly follow their instructions.

This first part of the ad grabs the audience by appealing to their fears, especially of those who frequently work with computers. It warned that a powerful force exists (IBM) and it is actively trying to take over the market and erase all competitors, which is undesirable. If IBM were to have a monopoly over computer systems, it will introduce the type of uniformity that was warned of in the book. Strict routines will come along, and there will be no place for creativity. By antagonizing this dark force, the ad paves the way for the white knight (hint, hint) to save the day.

The story shines a different light in the next part, when a woman appears. Dressed in vibrant white tops and orange shorts, her blonde, curly hair gleaming amidst the monotony and darkness. She holds a sledgehammer, her face determined and energetic, and runs towards the screen where the speaker preaches the “garden of pure ideology.” She is followed by guards, or the secret police, seeking to silence everything she represents. 

Again, the director employed symbolism here, but in this case to convey the greatness of Apple. The woman is an epitome of the new age of feminine independence and self-reliance, similar to how Apple is the epitome of the new age of computers. Apple is portrayed as “a cool, rebellious, and heroic company that was the only thing standing in the way of big evil corporation’s plan for world domination and total mind control.”

Juxtaposition plays a significant part here. The woman is easily identified as a resisting force in the middle of universal conformity. The contrast is expressed excellently: Dull faces against one full of vigor, bland uniforms against a vibrant outfit, and lifelessness against enthusiasm. The conformists’ lack of consciousness, again, brings in a contrast of what people should not be–mere followers of an authoritarian force. The point, of course, is to express the difference between the rest of the world and Apple. 

Near the end, the woman swings the sledgehammer, gathering momentum. Then she sends it flying, straight towards the center of the screen. Right when the speaker announces “We shall prevail!” the screen breaks and unleashes a brilliant light that stops the guards on their tracks and awakens the bloodless faces of the viewers. 

What’s so effective about this sequence of events is that after instilling fear, it gives hope–Apple is the hope. It rises to the challenge and resists and overcomes any attempt to beat it. Apple is presented as a savior from the boredom and monotony that would result if IBM had no competitors. The woman’s actions in this critical scene passes on the idea that the conformist attitude does not belong at Apple. The destruction of the hypnotizing screen symbolizes Apple as the head of a revolution–a technological revolution. It signifies that Apple will be the leader of innovation that would fight any predatory force.

Lastly, a calming and resolving voice declares: “On January 24th Apple Computer will introduce Macintosh. And you’ll see why 1984 won’t be like ‘1984.’” The presentation is then concluded with a colorful Apple logo at the center of a black screen, which remains in every Apple commercial to this day.

The ending is short, but incredibly concise and eloquent. The final sentence is iconic: First, the length of that sentence, as well as the repetition of “1984,” results in a catchy slogan that will be remembered for a long time. Second, it isn’t just a statement; it’s an offered expectation–it leaves its viewer thinking, it leaves viewers to connect the dots between the fantasy in the ad and the real world. It excites the audience’s prospects of the future, and tells them that Apple, the fastest growing company in America, is a company that they can rely on. 

Besides demonstrating creativity at its finest, the ad boasts superior marketing strategy through the choice and utilization of medium. The Super Bowl is a well-reputed event, and viewed by almost a third of Americans each year (more than 100 million in 1984, according to “Super Bowl television ratings,” Wikipedia). By securing a spot in the Super Bowl, Apple showed its understanding of the power of association. The company indirectly communicates to the audience that it is just as reputable as the event. It can even be as popular as football. 

The ad cost $500,000, but proved to be an investment well made. Indeed, the ad agency responsible for its production estimated that Apple made about $45 million of free advertising from TV stations’ coverage and playing of the ad. How did consumers respond? “[They] would go on to purchase $155 million worth of Macintoshes in the three months after the Super Bowl” (Business Insider). All of this goes to support the success of the ad as a result of choice and capitalization of medium.

Apple’s 1984 ad was an effective message that conveyed the excellence of its products and the validity of the company through an intriguing plot and clever advertising techniques. It wished to introduce the Mac, which was intended to be consumed by not just tech professionals, but has applications for both offices and homes. In other words, Apple was attempting to reach a broader range of audiences for this product than for any other products they have created. To do that, they would need a solid reputation, which they have successfully earned with this ad. Within the circumstances of that period, it catapulted Apple over its competitors amidst the dawn of the age of personal computers.

Learning Module 6 Recap and Next Time

You made it! In this module, we talked about:

  • Getting a revision plan together for your Rhetorical Analysis (due November 5th)
  • Thinking about how to adapt your Rhetorical Analysis to blog writing
  • How your thinking about your research topic and question is involving
  • Using Stasis Theory to help develop a range of research questions
  • Start/continue process of researching your topic
  • Practicing some evaluation of sources connected to your topic
  • Went over Research Question and Attempt Process Document to get that ready to go for October 29th–to help finalize a research question and drill down further on evaluating sources and their connection to your research question.

Next time:

  • Research Question and Attempt Process Document due by 3pm on Thursday, October 29th
  • Make sure you start to coordinate with your Writing Group about getting some peer review done for your Rhetorical Analysis drafts due on November 5th.

There is a task! It has been a longggg semester, I’m sure. We are getting there. I’m really happy to read your writing and am impressed with so much you have done. Keep your head up.

If you have any recommendations for things to watch/read or music/podcasts to listen to, share it in our Slack channel for that!

I have been listening to System of A Down lately because Victor has been writing about this song. I have also been watching The Boys on Amazon Prime, which is really great. Kind of inverts the good guy/bad guy dynamic of superhero movies and has a nice genre blend of that sort of movie and heist/action movies. Really funny, too. I’m also interested in seeing that Borat sequel that is released on 10/23. Have gotten into Superstore, too, which is a solid show I don’t have to think much while watching.

Have a good weekend!

Research Question and Attempt Process Document

Go to Blackboard>Assignment Prompts>Process Documents to download the prompt for the Research Question and Attempt Process Document.

Read over the prompt and let me know if you have any questions about this assignment due for 3pm on Thursday, October 29th. 

Comment below with your question or type “I don’t have a question” below.

After commenting, click on the button below to go to the final page of the module:

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Choosing Sources

As you continue to search for information that is relevant to your research question, you’ll need to keep in mind what is valuable information and what is not so valuable.

Below is what we talked about on 10/22

Evaluating secondary sources:

    • how is it relevant to your research question?
    • who wrote it (expert? google or google scholar. expert but are they expert in subject they are talking about?)?
    • Reputation of publisher?
    • What are author and publisher’s goals and why?
    • How recent was this, potentially outdated?
    • how credible are sources they cite?
    • how specialized?
    • who was this written for?
    • enough information here to support your research?
    • can you access full document?
    • what is left out?
    • can it be corroborated by other sources?
    • what is web address and is that clue for credibility?
    • does it cite sources for claims?
    • mix of perspectives represented fairly?

These are great questions to ask, and you should consider these questions carefully as you look at each potential source you find. The second reading for today is a more streamlined version of these sorts of questions. Go to page 165 and 166 in the textbook and read through each of the 6 questions.

In a comment below, answer each of the 6 questions to the best of your ability for one potential source you could use in your research project. Use the readings from last week to help you here (especially “Evaluating Sources”)!

If you do not have a source yet…find one! Use the previous page in the module to go find some stuff!

After commenting below, click on the button to continue the module:

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Researching: First Round

So you have a topic to research, and maybe you have a rough draft of a research question you really like (at the very least, you have 5 possible research questions!). Let’s try a run at looking for information about this topic/question.

On 10/22, we looked over that “fake news” research question to try to find some sources to try to address that question. Below is the same list of bullet points for you to try out with your research topic/question.

  • For your research question, what is the best approach to address it? What sort of field of study (e.g., history, psychology, economics, cultural or literary studies, rhetorical studies, marketing, sociology, environmental studies, urban planning, engineering)?
  • What sort of evidence is preferred for that field of study?
  • What ways of finding information would give you the highest quality evidence to research your topic? (e.g. library databases like Academic Search Complete or JSTOR or EBSCOHost or the Newman Library’s main search engine, internet search engines like Google or Bing, specialized versions of internet search engines like Google Scholar, specific academic journals that you know will have information on your topic, sites with access to image/audio/video–see here for more on that). It can be good to try multiple places to search because each search method will produce different results. If you are not sure where to start, just pick one. You can pick the ones provided (e.g., Academic Search Complete, JSTOR, Google Scholar) or you can explore the databases page on the Newman Library page)
  • The place to start for most of this is the Newman Library main page. You can use main search bar but also click “Databases” on right side of page to browse options to look for information.
  • Contacting a librarian about places to look for information can always be really helpful. You will learn a ton because they are smart people who specialize in doing exactly what you are just learning to do: find and evaluate information. You can schedule a research consultation here.
  • Thinking about how to search is important by using quotation marks to search for full phrases or Boolean operators (E.g., AND, OR, NOT) to help filter things out is a big help. More information on how to search on this LM3 page.
  • Wikipedia is fine–just see what they cite and grab those sources instead!
  • Popular vs. academic sources–academic sources nearly (but not always) always more reliable. Check web address like “.com” vs. “.edu” or “.org”. Something with “.com” or “.net” might not always be as reliable (just have to do more digging).
  • Do you need any primary sources or just secondary sources? Primary sources are the original data talked about–e.g., your Rhetorical Analysis was analyzing a specific text, that specific text was a primary source. Secondary sources talk about data, so you citing a study of college students about learning styles would be secondary since you are not analyzing their data but their analysis of their data.
  • Worth collecting your own primary evidence (experiments, making observations, interview people, surveys, personal experience)? If so, how will you go about doing that?

After going through these bullets and trying most (if not all of them) for one of your 5 research questions from last page, comment below with the following in regard to that research question:

  1. what academic discipline or disciplines would help you address your topic/question?
  2. what kinds of evidence would best address this question? (go back to the readings due for last class on 10/22 to remind yourself of different kinds of evidence)
  3. name ways of finding information that you will use–like specific ones not just “the internet” or “a search engine.”
  4. name keywords and/or phrases that are relevant to searching for information for your topic/phrase

After commenting below, click the button below to continue the module:

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Using Stasis Theory for Research Question

When you further polish your research question into something that is clear, focused, concise, complex, and arguable (see George Mason Writing Center page that we talked about on 10/22), you would have formed a question that will have a baked-in audience:

An academic discipline that is also interested in trying to answer similar questions.

Throughout the unit, we will talk more about topics related to writing for an academic audience in a specific discipline (e.g., using a documentation style like MLA or APA, writing in a preferred organizational macro-structure like IMRaD or thesis-driven, learning conventions of academic journal articles).

In the Blankenship reading on stasis theory, she presents five ways of thinking about a topic that can help sharpen your research question:

  1. The facts (is it real? does it exist?)
  2. The meaning or nature of the issue (definition: what should we call it?)
  3. The value of the issue (quality: is it good or bad?)
  4. The plan of action (policy: what should be done about it?)
  5. Origin (Causality: what caused it?)

Blankenship offers several examples of claims that could be made in one of these five areas of stasis on pages 192 and 193. Review them now for a bit.

For your research topic, create (at least) 1 possible research question for each stasis. So, you should have 5 research questions. Make sure each is as close to clear, focused, concise, complex, and arguable as possible.*

In a comment below, write out each of your 5 research questions.

After commenting below, click on the button to continue the module.

*This task adapted from Lisa Blankenship’s activity on using stasis theory for developing a research question.

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Unit 3 So Far

Here, from the syllabus, is the course and subgoals for Unit 3:

 

Unit 3 – Research: Knowledge and Writing
The focus for this unit is on research. Now, all writing requires research; research is an investigation into various kinds of information. We can’t really write without doing that. However, generally speaking, and in academic contexts particularly, research usually has a very systematic connotation. In other words, it means close analysis of primary and secondary materials to make some kind of argument about something in a specific disciplinary domain. In this unit, we will consider how research and writing intersect in terms of how writing makes knowledge, how developing information literacy can assist us in making that knowledge, and how there are both general and context-dependent conventions for research writing that help us communicate our research in impactful ways. This unit primarily addresses the fourth Learning Goal (i.e., Identify and engage with credible sources and multiple perspectives in your writing) but it also touches on the fifth (i.e., Use conventions appropriate to audience, genre, and purpose). Below are some sub-goals:

 

·      Write to learn (e.g., writing out processes and aspects of a topic to see what you know, moving from analysis to synthesis, moving from summary to analysis, coordinating multiple voices to reveal something new)

·      Develop information literacy (e.g., finding information via search engines/library databases/stacks, evaluating source credibility and relevance, analyzing primary vs. secondary sources, using citation tools)

·      Learn differences in research genres and disciplinary knowledge (e.g., using documentation style, IMRaD vs. thesis-driven paper)

·      Write with other voices (e.g., paraphrasing, direct quotes, summary, footnotes, endnotes, managing claims and evidence with other voices, qualifying claims, counterarguments)

·      Organize and making an argument (e.g., stasis theory, Toulmin’s model, organizing sources and mapping their use, making an annotated bibliography, supplementing research process onto writing process)

 

So far, we have talked about the following in relation to Unit 3:

  • how the process of writing itself can help us slow down and confront what we know or do not know (e.g., Mermin piece, QSR4).
  • how to formulate a research question (e.g., 10/22 lesson)
  • how to initiate searches for information and evaluation information you find (e.g., 10/22 lesson, textbook reading)

We have mainly addressed writing to learn and information literacy so far. Today, we will continue examining both of these subgoals in more depth by using the reading on stasis theory to think about further developing your research question and the short reading on questions to ask when choosing sources to think about information literacy.

Hopefully, you have done some of the following since our class on 10/22 and your meeting with me when we talked about your research projects:

  • thought more about your topic
  • thought more about potential research questions
  • started to search around for information related to your research question
  • started to evaluate information you found
  • started to think about your own data you might collect and how
  • scheduled a meeting with a librarian
  • scheduled a meeting with another expert knowledgeable about the subject you are researching
  • taken notes on some sources you have found
  • did some brainstorming and writing to think through your research topic and question
  • come up with a schedule for how you’ll work toward your research project

On our Slack channel on writing practice and process, post a quick note on one thing that has changed since we talked last week about your research project. Could be related to your research topic, question, or sources you have looked for or found so far. Could be a question you have, something surprising you discovered, a new angle you are thinking about taking on your project, etc.

After posting in Slack also comment below “I have posted to Slack”, and then click below to continue the module.

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Rhetorical Analysis Revision Plan

You did it! You submitted the first draft of your Rhetorical Analysis. You got some feedback from peers, you got some feedback from me. You have, no doubt, thought more about it (even a little bit!) since you turned it in.

Now it is time to start planning (and start doing) revision.

As with the Literacy Narrative assignment, I’m going to ask you to consider (but not require you to submit) a Revision Plan.

Here are those guidelines for formulating this plan:

  1. It’s about love!!!! Ask yourself: What do you love about this piece? What do you want to return to and work on more? Why? Choose “love” and not “well, this was bad” or “well, this was pretty good.” Instead, what did you enjoy working on most? What is the most exciting part of this text? Why? How do you build off of that? Or, what about this text, generally, interests you the most? There will always be moments where you’ll have to revise something you don’t want to ever look at again. Still, even for something you rather not look at again (which will happen to you), finding something that attracts you to it, something that can make it a positive experience, will both motivate you and also help you to identify its strength.
  2. Let yourself be guided. How can you let that excitement and energy guide you? What enhances that energy? What takes away from that energy?
  3. Hear out others (including yourself). Part of (but not ONLY) what should inform you is the feedback you have received previously: my comments on your draft, peer response feedback, your old notes as you were working on the draft, etc.
  4. Task list. Begin to develop some tasks that can assist you in addressing the above. (e.g., revise this paragraph, move this section up earlier and adjust it so it fits, add this supporting argument, do this analysis and see where it takes me, do more research for secondary sources). Consider what YOU want to do with the piece and the comments you received from others.
  5. Be specific. As you write out your tasks, you MUST be specific. Why are you doing this task? As in, what about your writing has led you to think you should do to enhance the essay overall? How will you do this task? As in, what specifically do you have in mind as some potential changes that would work to address the “why” of the task you chose. For example: I will add more secondary sources to support the claim I make in paragraph 4, I need to show a more cohesive transition between section 3 and 4, my argument is too broad so I need to be more specific about the limits of my argument when I make the main argument early on, I want to incorporate my lessons on style to many of sentences that are a little harder to read.
  6. Be a planner. Finally, if helpful, begin to develop a schedule of when and how you will work on your revision. Revison (or any aspect of writing!) benefits from work that is spread out rather than work that happens all at once. A fresh mind is an asset. Backwards plan. “This is due 11/5, what do I need done by 10/24? By 10/27? By 11/2? Etc.”.
  7. Are there new constraints or affordances to consider? Are there new things you have to consider now? For instance, do you need to more closely consider the genre and medium you are writing in? (i.e., blog post on our course website, hyperlinking, paragraph length, structure/organization, potential use of images)

Eventually, I encourage you to address all 8 of the below questions, but, for now, just comment below with responses to of the below questions or instructions.

  1. What do you love about this piece? What do you want to return to and work on more? Why? Choose “love” and not “well, this was bad” or “well, this was pretty good.” Instead, what did you enjoy working on most? What is the most exciting part of this text? Why? How do you build off of that? Or, what about this text, generally, interests you the most?
  2. What feedback will you incorporate do you think? Why?
  3. How will you enhance or add analysis to your draft?
  4. What might be a change to your thesis?
  5. What are some changes that you’ll make to make it fit the genre of the blog post through the medium of online writing?
  6. What about your word choice and sentence structure? How will you revise your style in a way that best fits what you want to do in your piece and in ways your audience would appreciate?
  7. Write out ALL of the specific tasks you will take based on: what you love, the feedback you got, and other considerations. Be SPECIFIC.
  8. What is your schedule for getting this done? Consult your writing schedule that you did for today!

After commenting below, click the button to continue the module.

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Rhetorical Analysis Revision: Online Writing and Blogging

In the final draft, I want you to write to the class as your audience and I want you to do that with two related forms in mind:

  1. the genre of the blog post/online article
  2. the medium of online writing

This form of writing assumes a stance of entertaining while also informing readers. So how can you both entertain us by making it clear there is something interesting about your analysis but also inform us about something meaningful about it?

Consider the following characteristics:

  1. The way you open your piece (how do you grab interest?)
  2. your thesis statement (how do you make clear what argument is about?)
  3. the title of your piece (how do you grab attention while still being truthful?)
  4. how you hyperlink to other information (how do you provide access to sources that inform your writing?)
  5. how you incorporate visuals throughout the piece (what would be relevant to what you are writing about but also nicely positioned to break up the writing for keeping interest?)
  6. paragraphing function and length (are your paragraphs clear on what you are doing in them? do you signal to your reader what they’ll be about and how they connect to other paragraphs? are they too long for reading experience of reading on screen?)

Here are some examples that you can use as models…take notes on them and see what you want to try to imitate in relation to above characteristics in your revision!:

Billy Bean article from FiveThirtyEight that we went over in class.

Review of Armani Caesar’s album The Liz Tape on Pitchfork (which also qualifies as a rhetorical analysis!)

Review of Borat sequel on The Ringer (which also qualifies as a rhetorical analysis!)

Analysis of AOC’s speech about harassment and misogyny from July 2020 (which uses rhetorical analysis!)

 

After reviewing these characteristics, reviewing the four example posts/articles above, and looking through your rhetorical analysis draft, do the following:

  1. Choose a paragraph you’d like to revise
  2. Consider which characteristics of blogging and online writing from above that you’d like to apply to revising that paragraph
  3. Revise the paragraph
  4. Paste the paragraph into a comment below
  5. Write up a brief explanation of what you revised and why (no more than 100 words)

Comment below with #4 and #5 from above list!!!!!!

After commenting, click on the button below to continue:

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