Wth GarageBand! How did It End Up so Long?
The point of my audio essay is mostly personal. Because my grandfather just passed away, I really wanted to hear some stories about him. But my point can also be more universal. I think that everyone can relate to sharing a special hobby or topic that defines their relationship with someone. To get this point across, I asked my mom to speak about all the stories she remembers that relate to a specific aspect of her relationship with her father. Because she only speaks about the time spent with him on their boat, you get the feeling that they shared a special connection through the time that they spent alone together. I want listeners to reflect on their own private relationships which they reinforce through something special that only has real significance to the parties involved. Though my audio essay is sad because my grandfather is no longer alive, it focuses on all the fun times that my mom remembers having with him so it’s bittersweet.
The two pieces of Glass’s advice which I tried to follow were, firstly, to record anecdotes about my grandfather and my mom on their boat and to make it follow a sequence so it’d be more interesting and would hold the listener’s attention (Part 1, 0:40-2:15). I know that boat stories can be pretty boring, so I thought this would help keep the listener’s interest. I also chose to have my mom speak on this recording because I know that she has a nice voice and is able to sound natural even when she’s being recorded (she actually recorded the “Welcome to…” message for a company she used to work for). Ira Glass says that the most important thing is not to put on a “radio voice” or it’ll sound forced and unnatural (Part 4, 0:15-0:40) and I knew that I could depend on my mom not to do that.
Surprisingly, the main problem I encountered was the length. Stupid GarageBand! The whole time I was worried that it wouldn’t be long enough until I exported it and realized that it’s actually 13 minutes long instead of 4 minutes, 10 seconds. This might sound really dumb of me but I thought that by “250,” GarageBand meant that it was 250 seconds long and I never thought to actually time it on a clock. When I do my revision, I’ll be more than happy to cut it down as I know that some parts may be boring to people who aren’t in my family. I was just worried that it wouldn’t be long enough. Grrrr…..
My link to SoundCloud: http://soundcloud.com/pessiagoldberg/my-grandpas-boat/s-JpAiJ
4 responses so far
I really enjoyed your project Pessia. Even though your project still would’ve been excellent with just the dialogue between you and your mother, the sound effects like the waves crashing or bottles opening put it over the top. You managed to find a great topic that is sentimental and fun to listen to. The only issue I had with it was sometimes your mother talked a bit too fast and jumped somewhat quickly between stories so it was difficult to comprehend all she was saying. I would recommend slowing down her audio and putting in some gaps to really let her story sink in. You could possible fill those gaps with sounds of the ocean to keep the theme and tone of your project going.
I liked your project and the message it sends. The anecdote is great and it really allows me to see everything that is going on. To me, it just made me think about my dad and I and our experiences together since we fish as well. The sound effects are good but I think that at some points they are too loud and take over your mother’s story. Sometimes the transitions are rushed and the speech seems abruptly ended, but maybe that is just an editing problem. I also think that if you are going for a sentimental feel, that some of the sound effects don’t fit in. Some I found comical like the laughs at the party and the crab walking and I think that took away from the sentimental feel I was supposed to get.
Like some of your classmates, you have made great use of the family storyteller. Your mom has a great voice and terrific way of telling stories.
I like how you balance your and your mom’s voices. The back-and-forth helps break up the story-telling. Yet, more breaks–musical interludes as places for listeners to land? a longer moment in which you reflect rather than just ask a question?–would help make sense of the story for listeners. It’s a lot of story to listen to and be able to stay attentive.
Nice sound effect when you mom says the boat’s name, Impuslive. And the sounds of waves when you’re talking about the dinghy. I like what you’ve done with playing with sound effect. What about music, perhaps? I like the music coming up at the end of your mom’s story, but what about other places? Does it work elsewhere?
So, the danger with this project is too much story without a clear sense of purpose and message. I think right now the message you’re trying to emphasize is how hobbies, or even a material object (the boat) could connect people (specifically parent and child). But it’s not strongly enough communicated. Two things to think about: some of the anecdotes are less about mom and dad together and more about family and fun and adventure more generally. SO, being that this is quite long, you could cut it back significantly, limit it to one good anecdote, maybe two, that most effectively communicate the message you want your piece to have. And then juxtapose that anecdote with your own reflection and possibly your own anecdote about some hobby or material object that connects you to one of YOUR parents. To suggest how this is universal or ongoing.
I would say, less anecdote, more reflection and message, would be the direction to take it~!
Pessia, this is really good- your sound effects are super fun!!
I like how i feel like i met your mom now, and i feel like i got a glimpse at your relationship.
Im just not so sure about what your poin is. Maybe you can focus on that a bit more?
All in all, i really liked it.