Letters
Dear Reader,
After much brainstorming and editing, my radio essay draft is finally complete. I believe that the purpose of my project is to convey a nostalgic feeling. To do this, I incorporated person anecdotes as well as different voices of family members of different ages to convey such a mood. I decided to focus on the three most memorable points in my life, and use letters I received at those momentous occasions to show how the letters added the the memorability of the occasion.
The first piece of advice from Ira Glass I employed was the use of anecdote. At the beginning of Part 1 ,(:38) Glass discusses how important it is to created a flow and momentum in your show. He stresses the importance of hooking your reader in and keeping them captivated. To achieve this, I told the story of three events in my life that shaped me and I hope that they are relatable to at least some of the listeners of my piece. I felt that by including a personal anecdote, I interested the listener and gave them a deeper understanding of who I am.
The second piece of advice from Glass employed in my essay draft was “dont use a radio voice.” In Part 4, Glass emphasizes the importance of sounding natural on the radio thus creating a momentum in your piece. Being that I do not speak in public often and I strongly dislike how my voice (very powerful Brooklyn accented voice) sounds, this was a big challenge for me. At first I chose to leave my voice out of the project, but in the end decided to share some ideas with my listeners to add a more personal touch.
As for editing, on the technical side I still have more work ahead of me. I am unsure if the second song I used, “We are Family” follows the overall tone of the piece. I also need to work on the volume of my tracks and editing out backround noise. As for the content of my radio essay draft, I am unsure if the piece seems disjointed. I can see how to the listener, the point may not be clear enough although I feel that the purpose is clearly depicted.
4 responses so far
Zara, I really enjoyed your project. I think you are successful in conveying a feeling of nostalgia. My favorite part is that you had the writers read the letters themselves; it added variety and made the segment more interesting. The background music is nice and calming. I think, though, that your voice is a little low. Maybe you can adjust the volume. You mention that you tried not to use “radio voice,” which was a smart move because your segment is so personal. Great job! Can’t wait to hear the final product!
I really liked this. I thought it was a good choice that the letters were read by the people who wrote them. There was a strong family sentiment to this, giving it a really nice feel. The music also added a lovely touch. I like that it went from your grandmother, to your mother, and then to your sister, going through generations. The transition from your voice to your mother’s was a bit sudden, though, and I got thrown off guard because I wasn’t sure who was speaking at first. This was really great and I can’t wait to hear it when you’re all done!
Zara,
I quite like how you open by listen the types of letters we write/get. It”s catchy. I’m not sure you need to define what a letter is: that part feels more stilted, and I’m not sure it’s necessary. To decide if the moment of defining what a letter is, first decide what the “key terms” or phrases are that underpin your entire piece. That is, you should have phrases that are carried in some way throughout the piece that remind the listener of your focus, that lights a spark of recognition in the listener: “oh yeah, that’s the main thread, okay yeah, I see the connective tissue here, I’m getting the main idea.” IF your key word or phrases are importantly captured in the definition of what a letter is, than by all means, include it. But if not, ask yourself what purpose it serves, and be sure it serves something more than a gratuitous purpose.
It’s so terrific how you’ve structured this piece with your intro, conclusion and commentary between the letters. And then you have three letters–kind of like three chapters–ready by three women of three different generations in your family. Now, you decide to go from oldest to youngest, and I wondered why? What would happen if you reverse the order?
I think right now you’ve ordered them by chronology, but you don’t have to stick to the actual timeline of when they were written. More important, in my view, is the overall tone and theme of the letters, because that’s where your message lies. At the moment, the letters progress from the more serious missive of your grandmother to the less serious and chatty letter from your younger sister, with your mom’s serious but playful rhyming letter (which I just adore) in the middle. Your mom’s letter is the perfect bridge between the serious and playful. But, would it have better impact to end on the more thoughtful reflections on family that your grandma’s letter offers? To go from playful and light to serious and reflective?
To a large extent, how you choose to answer that question will depend on what message you want to bring out through sharing these letters. What is their meaning to you that you hope to stress? I think it’s something more than letters keep your family connected, so I would suggest thinking more about what your message is and how you can provide stronger motive for the message; answer that question: why should readers care?
Now, there are various answers to “why should anyone care” that you could consider. One thing you could bring out is how families (women in particular?) stay connected when separated. In all but your g-mother’s letter you’re separated from the letter writer by distance. And why are snail-mail letters still valuable, still meaningful, still a stronger symbol of connection that other means of correspondence (e.g. email)? I think it has to do with the actual material object of the letter, that fact that when you hold it in your hands to read it, it has also been touched by the hands of the writer–and thus, letter writing is more intimate, more concretely connecting than email. You might talk about this in your reflection at the end or beginning. Or between the letters.
Between the letters you mostly talk about the event that occasioned the letter writing–you provide background and context (e.g. you took a year off after HS and lived abroad; you were stuck home recovering from surgery and your sister was at camp, etc). Perhaps you could also talk about how these specific letters made you FEEL, why you kept them, why they matter to you. Such reflection would help bring out a more clearly motivated message, I think.
I also think it’s no accident that you have three women reading letters here. I don’t want to be sexist but women write letters like these more than men. Women more actively foster these kinds of connections (keeping in touch, marking special occasions, etc) in this particular way (letter writing), than men do. Do you agree? If you do, it would be very interesting, potentially, to explore these letters as a means of connecting women across and within generations of a family. Not to say that men don’t write letters ever, but: Letter writing is a specifically female means of sharing, bonding, and recording family history. There’s a long history of female letter writing that your project taps into.
The sound kind of fades out too soon at the end. Work on the fade out. In terms of sound, I do think the two songs you have chosen are kind of in strange juxtaposition to one another, that maybe “We are Family” isn’t the best, more interesting choice, as you suggest in your cover letter. It just seems too obvious to me. Although, your sister’s letter and voice are less serious than the others (especially your grandmother, who reads a very sober and serious letter about her feelings about coming of age in faith and within the family), so you’re on the right track in thinking about a lighter musical tone for your sister’s letter.
This was definitely a touching piece. I really liked how you had the writers also read the letters they wrote. It definitely allowed their message to shine through the words. I agree though that your voice was a little low so maybe in revision you should balance the volume a little more? The best part was the poem your mother read you. I think it was really sweet and amazing that she wrote something like that and it definitely highlighted the nostalgic feeling the most. I feel like you could maybe highlight that a little bit more? just to give the project a climax. Overall your project was nice to listen to and I really enjoyed it.