Audio Essay Draft
http://soundcloud.com/joseph-maugeri/audio-draft-project2
Well hopefully the project uploaded. It took me about 25 minutes just to figure out how to save it correctly.
The point of this audio project is different than the one that I proposed in class. I interviewed people with my original question, but it did not work out at all until I asked my Mom. Even though she didn’t entirely answer the question as intended, I tried to make it work. The project turned more into a “Story Pitched by our Parents.” It portrays why people remember certain things. It can be because the certain memory sparks an emotion, whether it is a good or a bad emotion is dependent on the specific memory. But, memories are powerful and can be forgotten about until a certain trigger is induced. Then, once the memory is retrieved, some of the same emotions are felt again. I found that very interesting. Also, I hope the story from my mom gives people a few laughs. I hope you all get it, it took me a second to understand when I first heard it. It’ll probably be pretty awkward if I have to explain…
I focused on the idea that one must ‘kill a bad project.’ Even though I did end up asking the same question to my mother, the project went in a totally different direction than expected. (Part 1) Another piece of advice was to ‘talk like yourself.’ (Part 4) It was hard to talk like myself when there is a microphone in your face, but I tried. It helped that I did not entirely follow my script, I used it more as a reference for talking points rather than a script. It helped the fluidity of my speech, but of course it can be improved. It was hard to get the sentences to flow when I was speaking though, I probably recorded the same thing about 15 times and just picked the best one. Plus, I don’t have the best radio voice but I did my best.
Another thing is, I am not an expert with GarageBand. I figured out the gist of it, but my skills can use improvement. Getting the music to be the correct volume and some fading issues arose, but I smoothed it out the best I could. The biggest problem was recording the many people that I interviewed, just to delete it all. It was frustrating that no one gave a decent answer, guess that’s the price you pay for doing a ‘Fifty People One Question.’
I know I’ll be doing a lot of editing, but hopefully the content is decent. Maybe I can re-record some of the parts again, or learn to edit it better. We’ll see.
4 responses so far
Hi Joe, I’m on my computer at school and your link isn’t working for me. Can you try to upload your project another way? Perhaps upload it to soundcloud and then link it to our blog? That usually seems to work.
I edited it and put the link in, hopefully it works now.
Like Nomi, I like this piece very much. Okay, so I’m not willing to say, A+, you’re done. But that’s my job: I have to post challenges and think through, in specific terms, what’s good as well as what you might try to do to make it even better. SO with no further ado:
Your voice is just awesome here. Really terrific. It’s likable, relatable, easy to listen to. There are so many lines you say where I eel like you just “nail it” in terms of delivery: “Cuz who cares? It’s not important” and “Boring. They were all pretty boring.”
I also like the overall structure. Great balance between reflection (your framing) and anecdote (mom’s story).
You could work on the transition between the intro and the story and between the story and the closing. It’s choppy. Mom’s perfect. What more could one ask for? The story is well-told and just the right length. So thanks, Mom. You owe her one.
I like how you start the closing, but maybe you could work on bringing out some of the elements we talked about in class. It’s not just about memories being powerful and we should focus on the good ones. You know, being able to giggle after 30 years is, as you say, pretty awesome. I agree, and I quite like how genuinely you put that thought. “Pretty awesome” pretty much captures it. Yet, there’s more “there” there that I would like you to think through. What are the possibilities? The nature of this particular memory, how it highlights a naughty side–maybe mom (and most of us) don’t have that many opportunities to exercise that side in life (and maybe they get less and less frequent as we get older and take on more and different responsibilities), so they stand out as especially important. Or maybe it was a deviation from her normal character (though, as she suggests, maybe it wasn’t). Or maybe you could do more with the fact, as you say in the intro, she doesn’t really answer your question; she takes it to a related yet very different place. Could you make any sense of that?
These are just ideas. That’s where I’d work in revision. Your task isn’t that hard, I think, because your mom’s story is great material, and you have begun to contextualize it in really lovely and meaningful ways.
Another option, which would be great if you had the time and fortune to get it together, would be to add another story or two of class clowning. This might be beyond the purview of what you can reasonably pull off in the coming week, but it is something you could possibly talk about in your reflection essay: imagine mom’s story as part of a longer radio hour, say? What would you add? How would it develop? What additional meanings would you pull out? But really, for the purposes of the audio portion of this assignment, you have a nice, tight little segment that holds together well.
Really enjoyable piece you created there, Joe!
I like the way you talk, the things you say, your mom’s story and the nice background music that didn’t distract the listerns. But like what Professor Smith said, the transitions in and out of your mom’s story is rough. It could use refining. I would go back to reflecting on why your mom’s story was effective even though it didn’t answer your question. Maybe think about what it makes certain memories more memorable than others.
Overall, I really like this. It’s great.