Wednesday, November 20 – Writing I (ENG 2100): Writing Is/And Technology

Rhythm and Writing (10-15 min)

Take out your journal so I can give you credit for it.

Read the following paragraph from a previous ENG 2100 student. Write privately about what you notice about its “rhythm”–think about rhythm however you want here. How does it feel to read this paragraph? Read it quietly out loud to yourself to hear what it sounds like. Write down some thoughts.

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These trends that I always scrolled on were also what got me into first learning makeup a couple of years ago. I told myself, one day, I wanted to be like them. So, I started learning to copy their way of makeup, and my first try ended in total disaster. It was horrendous. They looked cute and all in red, yellow eyeshadow while I looked like I had gotten into a fight with somebody and bruised myself all over the face. Especially with my eyes looking like I have been punched. In addition, I remember my second try of doing makeup looking horrible too. Pale while skin and red blush over my eyes making me seem like a vampire. Not even to mention my eyeliner drawn all the way to my cheekbones. Slowly enough though, I started to get the hang of it and now I can draw everyday makeup and Chinese styled makeups quickly and pretty.

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Now read the next two versions of the same paragraph that I rewrote. What do you notice that is different in terms of its rhythm?

Shorter Sentences

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I scrolled through these trends a lot. They what got me into first learning makeup a couple of years ago. I told myself, one day, I wanted to be like them. So, I started learning to copy their way of makeup. My first try ended in total disaster and it was horrendous. They looked cute and all in red and yellow eyeshadow. However, I looked like I had gotten into a fight with somebody. I looked like I bruised myself all over the face. Especially with my eyes looking like I have been punched. In addition, I remember my second try of doing makeup looking horrible too. Pale while skin and red blush over my eyes making me seem like a vampire. Not even to mention my eyeliner drawn all the way to my cheekbones. Slowly enough though, I started to get the hang of it. Now I can draw everyday makeup and Chinese styled makeups quickly and pretty.

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Longer Sentences

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These trends that I always scrolled on were also what got me into first learning makeup a couple of years ago. I told myself, one day, I wanted to be like them, and I started learning to copy their way of makeup. My first try ended in total disaster; I looked horrendous, while they looked cute and all in red, yellow eyeshadow. I looked like I had gotten into a fight with somebody and bruised myself all over the face. In addition, I remember my second try of doing makeup looking horrible, too, with the pale while skin and red blush over my eyes. It made me seem like a vampire, not even to mention my eyeliner drawn all the way to my cheekbones. Slowly enough, I started to get the hang of it and now I can draw everyday makeup and Chinese styled makeups quickly and pretty.

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Now read the original paragraph again. Describe the reading experience of the original against the Shorter Sentences version and the Longer Sentences version. What does it feel like? What difference does it make to you as a reader?

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Counting Words to Think about Style (30-45 min)

Over the next few weeks, we will make time in class to talk about words, clauses, sentence types, punctuation, and other things that can help us think more about style. Today, we are going to start by counting.

Image of Sesame Street's The Count with his finger pointed up (probably counting)

Let’s notice something about this example from your classmate. Go to this Google Sheet that shows the different sentence lengths for each version and their variation. What do you notice in the bar charts?

Let’s talk about the average (or “mean” in this case) and the standard deviation, what to do with that information. You know what a mean is, but what about standard deviation? Can anyone explain the relationship between a mean and a standard deviation?

Essentially, it is just a number in the same units as the mean that helps give a range of numbers centered around the mean.

If following a normal distribution, then 68% of the data will be +/- the standard deviation from the mean. Likewise, about 95% of the data will be +/- two standard deviations from the mean. Finally, nearly all data will be +/- three standard deviations from the mean.

The bigger the standard deviation, the wider spread of the data (i.e., the datapoints are more varied). The smaller the standard deviation, the smaller the spread of the data (i.e., the datapoints are more clustered around the mean).

08fig-empirical.png (700×432) (wikimedia.org)

It also makes sense in pictures! (thankfully)

Let’s look at the charts. If the bars are all around the same, that means they are going to be close to the mean. If they are really uneven, they are going to be further away. Likewise, the standard deviation will be smaller if the bars are around the same size. If the bars are varied in size, the standard deviation will likely be bigger. What do you notice about these three?

Calculating Your Sentence Length Mean and Standard Deviation

Let’s follow the below steps to look at your own writing:

Open this Google Sheet and find the tab with your name. Click that tab. We will return to this sheet after the next few steps.
Open up a recent draft (e.g., for our class, for another class)
Make sure the draft is in Google Docs or in Word. If not, copy your draft and the paste it into a blank Google Doc or blank Word doc.
Find the first sentence and then highlight it with your cursor. If in Word, look to the bottom left corner and it should read something like “11 out of 1,090 words.” If in Google Docs, highlight the first sentence and then click “Tools” and then “Word Count” in the menu bar at the top–check “display word count while typing.” A window will appear and the second item is “Words” and it should say something like “11 out of 1,090 words.”
Record the number in the Google Sheet that is linked in Step 1. Put it into a cell in the blue column next to the corresponding “Sentence 1” cell. Make sure you are in the right tab! It should have your name on it at the bottom.
After you find the number of the first sentence, highlight the sentence in yellow. If in Word, click the yellow marker icon to the left if in the Home tab. If in Google Docs, click the marker icon at the top menu bar in the center. I’ll show you now for both. Highlight sentences you already recorded a number for so you don’t lose your place.
Repeat steps 4 through 6 until you reach Sentence 30 (or, depending on how it is going, a different sentence before that).

Once you enter all of the numbers, you’ll have a mean sentence length, a standard deviation, and a chart that shows the distribution of your sentences. Take a look at what you have! Do you have long sentences? Short sentences? Do they vary a lot in length? Or are they mostly the same length?

Looking at the chart, try to pick a 5-7 sentence passage that stays the same. What did you think of the rhythm?

Next, try to pick a 5-7 sentence passage that is highly varied. What did you think of the rhythm there? When the passage varies, what kind of effect do you think it had, if any?

Get into pairs and share some thoughts.

What do long or short sentences do? What is it like to read them?

Longer sentences were mostly background/context and quotes (more information rich)
Short sentences, starting new paragraphs or summing up a paragraph–emphasize the take-away
Short sentences were sometimes questions for the audience–more for emphasis, to make audience think
Really long sentences, if too many, are energy-intensive.
Really short sentences, if too many, kind of boring.

What does varying your sentences vs. having the same lengths a lot do? What is it like to read varied sentences vs. unvaried? Or something else (e.g., sentences that are unvaried but have one or two very different sentences)?

Same lengths can drown things out, harder to pay attention when monotonous

If there is time, go back to your draft and choose 2-3 sentences and rewrite them based on what we talked about here. Paste the original and the new version here in this Google Doc (write your name next to it).

Continued Work on Research Plan and Research Project (20-30 min)

Take out the sources you have found so far and your in-progress research plan.

If you are still looking for sources, keep looking.

If you are ready to deeply read your sources so you can consider how you’ll use them in your draft, start reading. Remember “Reading and Writing” in our textbook as well as what we talked about on September 25 and practice we had in reading slowly together to figure out if context clues or looking up words/concepts is what we have to do as we go (we did this on October 15 and October 21). You can read challenging texts! Just pace yourself, use context, use research around the internet, ask questions, etc.

I’m going to partner you up with someone. Tell them at the beginning what you are working on. Then, toward the end, tell them what progress you made and any parts that have been difficult (and why). Accountability!

Next Time (5 min)

-Research plan due tonight

-Let’s go over what is due on November 25: your synthesis paragraph

-Keep working on your research project

-Comments on rhetorical analysis second draft

-Start thinking more about grade boosts…we are getting closer to the end of the semester…if you wanna do them, you gotta start planning for when you’ll do them.

–After class, need to talk with: Luciano, Deona, Luke, anyone else with questions