Hi all, Thanks so much for welcoming me to your blog! I think it would be terrific if people began to post their artifacts and even segments of their drafts up here for peer review!
I also wanted to share this link to the Turing machines that Carr refers to with regards to what the Internet may or may not be doing to our attention spans…
http://www.turing.org.uk/turing/scrapbook/tmjava.html
Do you think man is becoming more and more machine?
EJK
Thanks all!!! I had actually made some of the modifications that you all suggested. I hope you all will read it and see what else needs to be adjusted
I changed the topic of my paper to how Hip Hop music artists influences teenagers and I’m going to be writing about how Kanye West is a bad influence and Beyonce is a good influence. My problem is I don’t know what my artifact is. Can it be the incident that happened in the VMA where Kanye went on stage during Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech for her award and said that Beyonce’s “Single Ladie’s” video was the best video of all time?
Mikhail: Thanks for posting yr intro here! I think that Susan & Emmanuel offer some great advice. I am not sure what your thesis is and think that selecting one specific ad campaign would really help you. I also wonder if this isn’t a pape3r that might compare and contrast “productive ads” (those which encourage volunteer activities) and all other ads which just try to get people to spend $$?
EJK
I just read your paper over Mackeil and I found out a small problem that might help. It feels like you mixed two paragraphs. You could probably start your paper off where you state “The entire nation of the U.S. is experiencing an epidemic that is the bombardment of advertisements.” That statement is much more interesting to the reader because it makes us want to read more. So try to start your intro there and see if you can locate your thesis again.
I don’t think man is becoming more machine. On the other hand, I think machines are becoming more like men because we are programming them to do everything that we are naturally supposed to do because we are lazy. I guess machines are only going to get a lot more human like then ever so all we can do is adapt to them and try to make the best of it.
Mikhail, personally i feel that you should make a new post, rather than post it here. That’s what i was planning to do. (I will get to that..soon.)
Although I often have very weak theses, i will try to help you.
Is your main idea: Advertisers rarely advertise on things that matter and that they should change their ways? or no?
Or is it perhaps.. that Advertisers use many methods to draw your attention (which is good) but i thought we had to stick to a specific Ad. or that we had to explore a specific Ad/Clip/Lyrics. no?
The idea of an advertisement is not something that many of us do not acknowledge. We think of an advertisement as something that a company is putting forth to get us to purchase another product or perhaps another person’s idea that with which they are trying to suck people in. Even though many of us feel that we do not fall for these advertisements ploys, most people actually do. These ploys are the techniques used by marketers to try to get consumers to purchase their products. And advertisers create new ways everyday in order to get the consumer to buy their product or buy into their idea. This, to many consumers, becomes a problem, especially to young children, from pre-adolescence to young adulthood. The entire nation of the United States is experiencing an epidemic that is the bombardment of advertisements. Many parents, for their children’s sake, feel that more restrictions required. Others feel that they are seeing so many advertisements on useless information and not enough information on issues that actually matter to them or to the welfare of the nation. For example, there are many advertisements about upcoming movies and celebrity events and functions; however, there are not many advertisements on when and where people can go to volunteer their time to help the less fortunate. The forms that this advertising overload comes in are e-mail spam, junk mail, television advertisements, billboards, small signs on the doors of certain stores and even in the clothes that we wear. One thing that many do not realize is that when they wear certain articles of clothing, they are in turn advertising for the company that they bought it from. This is one of the many forms that advertising can come in.
Hi everyone…im gonna take professor’s advice and post my entire introduction here. My main issue is if there is a thesis. I feel there is one, but it may not be strong enough. Can u all please help me? And of course, point out any other issues you have with it
Thanks
Mikhail Nauth