My name is Joanna. I grew up and live in Woodhaven, Queens, and attended Archbishop Molloy High school in Briarwood, New York. Being only 18, I’m not really sure what it is that identifies me yet. I don’t know much but I do know that whatever I think identifies me will change in a month or so. Except music. That’s one constant in my life.
Music is the one thing I like best. I don’t know how my obsession with music began, perhaps it had something to do with taking piano when I was younger, though I know that whatever I end up doing for the rest of my life has to involve music. Music is what makes me truly happy. Instead of turning to material things to feel better, I turn to music. Being able to listen to someone pour out their soul for all to hear, and letting themselves be that vulnerable is a trait I greatly admire. That’s probably because it’s one of the things that you can say I am most afraid of. Along with vulnerability, another thing I am afraid of is not living up to expectations. I’ve learned that trying to live up to other people’s expectations is an impossible task. However, it’s one thing that I like least. Each person has a right to decide on how they want their life to turn out, and I don’t think anyone should try to control or manipulate that. For this reason, independence is something that is important to me. Being able to smoothly manage your own life without the help of others is a skill that I believe everyone should possess. However, independence is a learning process. Therefore, there have been many moments that I’ve felt ashamed, embarrassed, or guilty. Unfortunately, the ones that come to mind, I can’t say out loud. But what they are isn’t important. What is, is that I’m learning from them, and trying to avoid reverting back to the same mistakes.
Though I am only 18, there are many roles that I play in life. Daughter, sister, best friend, girlfriend, student. You name it. In fact, I’d have to say that my best friend, Amanda, is the most important person to me. We have been best friends since kindergarden, and she is more of a sister to me than my own sister. However, student has easily become my most difficult role. My first day of college I came home crying. I haven’t done that again so I guess you can say it’s getting better. Though it’s still the most confusing and frustrating thing I’ve ever experienced. I’m hoping that I get used to this change, and I’m hoping that’ll happen soon. But I have to admit, that so far I don’t really like college. All I think about every day is how much I regret not doing more research on other schools, and how much I regret not going away. As a result liking school has become my biggest challenge, along with Calculus class. I’ve never taken pre calc, and I’m not a fan of math to begin with, so it’ll be a miracle if I don’t fail. Despite all the things that I don’t like about college so far, my greater freedom is one thing I do enjoy. Unfortunately, with all the workload I get, all my free time is spent on schoolwork or sleep anyway
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