I feel deep inside that there are many things hindering me right now. I tend to not have motivation in doing my work because I feel that it is not worthy of my time. I strive to work hard most of the time, but in the end my efforts are often wasted when I see that the people around me who do less work tend to succeed more than me. Life right now seems to me that all it matters is getting certain grades and when you don’t, you won’t succeed in anything you do later on.
Time is one of the main hindrance that can explain my poor performance in school right now. It is hard to manage my time when I only go to class for a few hours, but I have these long breaks as well. The long breaks are often used for going out to eat and not doing homework or studying because it’s hard to do work with an empty stomach. Also, now that I need to work for money in college is also time consuming. Instead of having all 7 days of the week like in high school, I’m limited to fewer days to do anything nowadays.
During high school, I never seemed to get less than 8 hours of sleep but however, now that I’m in college I often get around 4 hours of sleep. The commute every morning coerces me to wake up much earlier than I have to. A 9am calculus class , means I need to wake up at 6am , when this wasn’t the case in high school. I often arrive to my classes very exhausted from lack of sleep and haven’t been able to concentrate enough and paid suffice attention to the professors. Even though I don’t get enough sleep, I still do try to do my best to pay attention, however most professors are very boring in their lectures and I do not get anything out of them after all. This is shown in my test grades so far, I know the material well but with the professors’ lectures, it actually demotes my performance in their classes.
Lateness is something that’s been hindering me as well from performing well in my classes. For calculus, I always arrive late due to my commute because something always comes up in the morning in terms of traffic. For anthropology, it is not I who is late, but the professor is the one who is late. She comes in 10 minutes late every time and I feel a lot of material could have been taught with that time. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, we have the long club hours break and I use that for eating out , there’s been times when i was late to history class from staying out too long. Lateness was never a problem for me until college, the long breaks and the professors’ way of teaching makes it vulnerable for me to want to be late to the class. However it is bad to be late since then I will not be able to absorb all of their teaching and utilize the material learned in the exams.
I’ve became quite a procrastinator now that I’m in college. I would much rather spend time earning money than studying or doing homework for school. I don’t do the assignments until the day that it’s due because of the influence of the people around me who share the same behaviors. There is not enough motivation from anyone that can create that spark in my habits to cause me to do my work the moment it has been assigned. However, I do feel a change occurring within me because I have just did my history blog assignment the same day it was assigned. If school is all about grades, then I guess the only way is to do my best to obtain those good grades and then it can reflect the good student that i really am.
I will not settle for less anymore, college is all about getting that “A” and without it , you will be no one in the future. I must overcome all these hindrances: time management, lack of sleep, motivation, and procrastination. I will serve as the better example within my group of friends and shine bright. I understand that many students at Baruch turns to smoking as a stress reliever and I have suffered quite a lot from second smoking and I refuse to become like anyone of these people. I will be the student that will simply turn to doing work as a source of motivation since it’s the only thing that will benefit me right now.
