Author Archives: bill leung

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It could be worse …

I didn’t have much expectations in the first place. I came in thinking all I had to do was to do good in exams and study once in awhile. I didn’t think attendance and homework was such a big deal in college as I heard from everyone else. I still can’t find much to do at Baruch other than to do your homework and kill time.

I think it went pretty bad. I wasn’t prepared for this work load nor did I feel I was given the freedom I thought I was going to get. School is the same as always, its not about if your good at something or not but its the amount of work you do. I barely did any homework and only get 80s in test. I’d settle for a B but its definitely going down to a C or D because of the missing homework.

I’d use the planner. I need to organize my day so that I can finish my work and do whatever. This semester I just did whatever I felt like doing and I think its going pretty bad. I dropped the only class I was sure I failed and I would be lucky coming out of this semester with a 2.0 GPA. Other then that I think everything I did wasn’t too bad.

I think I’m too old to change haha. I admit I do need to change on my working habits and get better at time management but I haven’t changed yet. I still like to just relax and go out with friends. Plus, I don’t think going to college is such a life changing event. It’s just another school with the same expectations as the others. Do your work and get good grades. Only difference is, I don’t think I can cruise through this like I did in high school.

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Why I do nothing.

I guess I’m just lazy and rather have fun then to do work. I’m an hedonistic person. I want instant gratification in whatever I do and I just haven’t made that leap to thinking about the future. Well I mean sure I think about it like what I’m am going to do for the rest of my life and how I will achieve it. I think everyone thinks about these things every now and then but I just haven’t connected the dots.

I get my stimulus from playing handball when it isn’t too cold or I go play pool with my best friend. Those give me my instant gratification. The feeling of doing that awesome kill in handball  or making a hard cut shot into a pocket in pool. Those things give me motivation because I get that boost of adrenaline.  Now that its getting colder I’m going back to video games. I’ve been an avid gamer for years and I’m good at what I do which is first person shooter. I have many friends that are good and fun to be with in a game and its just hard to say no to them when they ask me to join their game. It feels good to be good at something and to be with friends.

Believe it or not I also enjoy learning. I’m loving my anthropology and math classes. But the way I learn also feeds my bad habits. People learn differently and I learn by listening and watching what the teacher does and says. I rarely if ever copy notes and if I do Ill probably get only a little more then half of what I would get from just sitting there quietly and paying attention. Because of that, writing suffered dramatically. I never wrote anything and my grammar was always horrendous. Learning the rules of how to write properly just confused me even more so I never bothered. But homework was never really like “watch this youtube video and we will discuss it in class”. I’d do that H.W. every day and learn something from it if it was but sadly it never happened that way.

I realized I should conform to how things work in an institute like Baruch but I never felt the need to in High school so I never did. Paying attention in class and getting high grades in test meant little to no work at home which gave me the freedom to do whatever. Having that much freedom is intoxicating to say the least. It’s hard to let go a way of life you lived for most of your life.

Sometimes things just happen to slowly. Handball when you play a good game, the ball moves fast and my reaction time gets better and faster. Picking up a fast kill meant reacting to it before it hits the wall and getting into position. The pace of the game makes me love it. This carries over to games. There is games like RPG (Role Playing Games) that just bore the hell out of me. Everything is slow and the build up is slow. Shooting games gives me fast pace feeling when my reaction to seeing the enemy is everything. In school, everything is slow. So far I had one exam in math class. I haven’t paid attention nor did any H.W. for it for a good couple of weeks so obviously I’m behind. But all I did was skim through the notes for a good hour and paid attention the class before the exam to catch up and I got an 80 on the test. I came from a school where 80 was good enough and the way I see it, I probably didn’t need to skim through my notes for that hour if I paid attention in every class but one class was 100 minutes. Things just don’t move fast enough for me to care. Not saying I’m a prodigy and I will get things instantly and of course this pace is still faster then the pace in my high school.

More or less to rap it up, I’m a hedonist. I need my instant gratification so I have the motivation to continue. If I don’t get it, I lose motivation and quit before I even start. I’d think about doing something and calculate when I will receive my reward. I realize the reward is bigger and much more valuable then having an adrenaline rush in sports or games but right now, I just don’t feel it.

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Monologue

My name is Bill and I come form Brooklyn. What really struck me about this school was not the diversity of the races. You see I came from a well diversified High school myself where people wear jeans below their thighs and others that came from over seas. What really stuck me was the difference in mind set. In my high school, everyone took a back seat in their education. The goal was to do the least amount of work but also pass. Grade was secondary. I guess that is a good ideal for the business world but its defiantly not here. I met people here who are serious of their education.
I love to help people. When you ask me, I’ll most defiantly attempt to help you to the best of my abilities but unfortunately, I’m not every good at it. So for your own good, don’t ask me for help. I very much hate public speaking. Sometimes I freeze up and most of the time I sway from one spot to the other like I’m on the swings. I had a very bad experience once in a public speech course in high school. I was mumbling my words and swaying as usual but then the most unusual thing happened. Part of my face started to have a nervous twitch and I couldn’t calm down. I looked at the teacher but either he doesn’t notice or was just being mean and told me to keep going. I freaked, paused for a good 10 secs and said “That’s it” and just sat back down. Course I got a failing grade but to be honest, I’d rather get a failing grade then to stay up there looking like a moron.

Lastly, the one moment that empowered me the most was when I got my high school diploma. My school was extremely easy for people to cut and I got pulled in the group mentality of doing the least possible but of course I failed them all. I was what is known as being in the 5 year program. I was left back and at the end I was really on the boarder, If I failed one class I would have still been in High school or at least have done summer school for it. Course I got it hence I’m here and had a great summer on a cruise but that moment where I finally got my diploma was probably the best part of my life.

Relaxing on my hotel balcony in Hawaii sippin the burgerking coffee

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1st Post

Well to start my name is Bill Leung and I just turned 19 a few days ago. I like to do a variety of things ranging from playing handball, parties, or just sitting at home playing video games. I have a pretty relaxed personality towards life and all its inner workings. Course I work for the things I want and I expect nothing to just be given to me. I’ve made some bad choices in my life and had one hell of a time correcting my mistakes. In the end, I believe its not the choices we make that define who we are but what we do after the choice has been made.

My concerns consist of not having a good GPA. I want at least a 3.5 if I can manage but I have a serious time management  problem. There are so many things I want to do and they usually don’t pertain to school work. Its hard for me to balance my social life from my educational needs. I’m not too concerned about making new friends because I don’t have much trouble talking to people but I am concerned about losing my current ones. Out of my close group of friends, none of them are currently going to Baruch and I’m afraid that our lives will drift ever so much apart because of our ever growing differences.

It’s defiantly different alright. I find people more interested in their academic careers rather then just having fun. Or maybe I just haven’t met the other part of the populace. I so dearly hope for the latter. Professors have more of a professional stance in what they do so I find it hard to communicate with them. I use to get to know my teachers in high school but to professors I feel highly estranged. Lastly, college is huge compared to high school. Finding new things to do practically everyday and inexhaustible knowledge to be gained everywhere.

Lastly I think college will change me into a more responsible young adult. I hope it will help me find what I want to do with my life or at least throughout my academic career. I feel that we’ve all been institutionalized our entire lives. I hope college will prepare me for real life as the subsequent schools prepared me for the next institution I will be going to although I do not believe my high school has prepared me adequately for college. I hope this is not the case in college. I look forward to the new experience in college and what I can obtain for my future while I’m here.

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