KM 3A

When I first came to Baruch I was like, “yeah this place is full of hipsters and herbs, i’m not gonna dig this.”  These expectations ran through my head for about 3 hours on my first day here.  The longest 3 hours of my life.  During these 180 minutes of hell I was constantly asked by strangers in the dorms if I wanted to tag along on a “Starbucks Run” or if I wanted to talk about how much we hated “the man”.  Of course I alway answered with a “hell no, idiot.” I began to think that I would drop out of this school and go back to my original life plan, becoming a world renown dentist.  Then something changed my whole entire perspective on this school and my future here.  I was packing up my things, while “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias blared on my laptop when I heard a knock on my door.  I yelled, “For the last time, NO, STARBUCKS TASTE LIKE SHIT!” as I walked to open the door.  When I did open this door my jaw dropped.  I saw three bros in front of my.  Dressed in pinnys and each reading a “Hustler” magazine, they were straight chillin.  I ran to my desk, grabbed my “Hustler” I was previously reading and held it up to them.  We then proceeded to fist bump.  This was my first encounter with my three bros, Nick, Jack, and Jesus.  My expectations on the school were that it would be terrible, but it’s been chill because me and my bros roll with natty and strumpets all day.  My first semester here has gone real well.  I hold the record for three pointers in an NBA game and my “No Shave November” beard is Grizzly Adams-esque.  Seriously, this beard is brolic.  If I had to change one thing about my first semester I would definitely stop wasting my time at classes so I can get some more xbox time in.  Also, I would change El Sombreros dumb waiting line rule, total bro haters running that place.  Someone once asked me the question, “Have you changed at all since you’ve been at Baruch?” Well let me answer this question with another question, “Do you hipsters not smell like shit?”  Hell no.