KM 3A

Let me make this simple, Baruch College did not meet my expectations. I came into the college starstruck by its amazing campus, but it was watered down with the students IN Baruch. I honestly felt the only people that had a breath of life in the campus were my high school/middle school friends, and the people in my block program. I came into the college believing that everyone were close knit. However, it wasn’t the case, things seems so lifeless, no smiles, headphones on ears, cigarette smoke, coffee in hand; it was the common things you see coming into the school. It’s a commuting school, so I honestly don’t know. But if you’re in the school for 6+ hours, with breaks, at least try to socialize.

I would have just done better for my first semester. But life circumstances kept me from doing so. Oh well; whatever happens, happens.

I don’t see myself changed, but I do see myself losing my social life. I have friends in my block program, and they’re great people, but it’s the environment that drags on for me, the cold, lifeless people in suits just get to me. Am I going to be like that if I stay in Baruch? Is everything going to be JUST numbers?

I don’t know.

So, in class I half assed on a monologue I quickly scribbled down in the class before. As a result, I got horrible stage fright, I was stumped in front of it, and embarrassed myself.

Good job kiddo.

The idea I had in mind of how people waste time, and I wanted to add a clever twist into it, but it resulted in me confusing myself up front.

Again, good job kiddo.

However, I had a second one deep inside I really wanted to share with everyone, but I didn’t know if it was appropriate, or hell, creative enough to share with the class. It was about my dad.

KevJumba (Check him out on Youtube, funny guy) talks about his dad a lot in many of his videos. You can tell the close, and tight knit bond they share as a functioning family. My story took years to develop between my dad and I, and I’ve seen the good, and the bad. My parents were never on the same level with each other. They would bicker, and nag at each other until one gave up, or one blew up. Ever since I was five, I always saw them argue, I would see them shove bills in each other’s faces, and see checks shoved into each other’s faces.

Money was always the root of the problem in this family, and no doubt things got worse as I got older. I always heard my mom’s side of things, and I was brainwashed into believing my dad was the bad guy. I remember I told him I hated him and saw the look on his face. It was the face of a broken man, who saw his own son turn on him. He knew he couldn’t get me back, he knew he couldn’t convince me. He went off to Cambodia for two months when I was 16; two months, without my dad. It felt empty, and I began to see the real truth of things; it wasn’t entirely my dad’s fault. I began to feel guilty of what I had said to him before he left. I sulked day by day, and actually became depressed for my tenth grade year. He had come back in June of that year, but not back to a warm home. My mom changed the locks, and forced my dad out the house to live elsewhere.

That process hit me the hardest. Why was my mom doing this? Why does she look like the bad guy? I tried to picture a quiet, and peaceful family, but the reality hit me so hard, it was not possible. My dad had moved in with his sister, and now he is living a content life. He keeps up to date with his child support, and tries his hardest to take care of my sister and I, despite him being out of the house. To this day, I still feel guilty of saying I hated him. The expression on his face lights up when he sees me visit him, but there is a part of me that still sees his broken expression. I try my hardest to be the best son possible for him, and for my mother. I’m in college now, and I visit him on a weekly basis. I would share stories I have about Baruch College to him, and I would tell him everything that goes on in the family. He asks about my mom a lot, and he always tells me to look out for her. He’s always been a wise man, a smart and successful father. I’m glad I look up to him.

He promised me that he would take me fishing when I was five. This summer he took me fishing.

Thank you dad.

Let’s make this easy:

I think my block program knows me for what I just show in the classroom, and not on a deeper level where you would actually understand who I really am, and now I am here to show it. My name is Reamroatha Richard Moeun, and I’ve lived here in NYC for all my life. It’s something about being raised in the city, more specifically, The Bronx. Living under the roof of a single parent, I have to accept responsibilities to take care of what I have, and hold on to even the small things. This drives to to focus hard in school, and to focus hard at work. All in all, I am simply a hard worker. But by no means I am a stiff and boring person, I actually am very social. I enjoy meeting new people everyday. You never know if the person sitting next to you will be there for the next twenty or so years, it’s best to do things now.

I believe that we have so much to do in such a short lifespan. There is a whole world out there, and we live in such a small vessel that can only go so far. So we do what we can do, and this is why I try to enjoy life for every single moment it is. I think my biggest regret is staying in New York City to be honest. I know that this city has everything to offer, but what else is out there? I’m curious. I went to PS MS 20 for middle school, John F. Kennedy for high school, and now Baruch College for college. But this doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy my next four years, it simply means that I need to work harder to see what else is out there.

I’ve been rambling on about life theories, and etc. But who am I? I’m simply your average Cambodian that enjoys hanging out, playing guitar, and doing the usual things this generation does (The positive things). I don’t think I have any concerns for my freshman year, these past few weeks, I’ve integrated into the culture of Baruch, and I am used to how things flow. It is very different from my high school experience; I feel much more independent, and I can actually relax and have time to myself before my next class. The work is harder, but it is manageable if you have good time management skills. Getting to know people is much more on your own initiative, unlike high school where you see the same faces everyday.

My first year of college has changed me already. Honestly, I can’t stand high school students anymore =p Being on the train with them is a drag, and I’ve become much more mentally mature, much more independent, and much more socially active.

I look forward to the rest of my year; Already I am getting to know my block program. Full of good people =]