I never really enjoyed writing about myself. But I have to do it anyway, right? My autobiography isn’t going write itself, and I have to pass Freshman Seminar.
I am a Belorussian-American, born here with two names. The one most people know me by is Kevin. Kevin is my father’s invention, a device used to Americanize me, to make sure nobody will have any problems saying my name. I was born to help people.
My other name is Konstantine. It was suggested by my grandmother at birth, but denied by my father, he thought the name was too complicated. In his eyes, simple minded Americans can’t handle long names. I only found out about this name after the divorce, at my first baptism, where I had to associate myself with a saint by name. Being devoid of any religion my entire childhood, I had no clue who any of these saints were. So my old name came up again, and I was baptized under Saint Constantine. Adding my own little flair, I spelled it with a K.
So now I have the occasional identity crisis. It’s reflected in many aspects of my life, from music taste, the company I keep, even the girls I date.
Everything affected by both worlds.
With all that, I never spent time trying to figure out what I wanted to do for a living. But I did know that one day, somehow, I want to become a father. I know that one day, I want to and will be a better father than my own has been.
So that brings me to college. It’s already something my father never did. In fact, I’m the first Khayutovsky to partake in higher education. College is an ambiguous task for me, I’m doing it because I’m supposed to, that’s what I’ve been told. There wasn’t a point in my life when not going to college was even a consideration.
I’ve finally started college, and honestly, I’ve been enjoying it. The old friends, the new friends, the interesting classes, the great schedule, all make this college thing a whole lot easier. Still, it isn’t perfect. The vast population can make it a bit intimidating, the freshman block schedule makes it feel like middle school, and I’m barely scraping by to pay for textbooks since they’re so expensive.
Besides that, I’m enjoying it. It’s only my 3rd week in, and I’m already enjoying Baruch as much as I enjoyed Brooklyn Tech. And I had a lot of fun in Brooklyn Tech. But I’m making sure my college life will be different from my high school life. I’m planning to sign up for as much as I can, staying active in the extracurricular part of Baruch, instead of just the classes. I’ve already signed up for a blood drive, made friends in the Undergrad Government, and I have an audition for a school play tomorrow.
I’m sure my first year in college will change me. I’m sure I’ll learn so much more about the world, and I’ll know what to do with my life. And if anything, I’ll finally learn who I really am.
