Monthly Archives: October 2010

Do I know who I am? Do I know what I want? Do I know what I look forward to in life? I just live life to the fullest because everything happens for a reason. I’m Doug. I’m me, and I’m happy with who I am. There is so much to learn about me, even I do not know myself fully sometimes.

At this point life is going pretty well. School is great, besides failing my first Math test. College is looking good! I’m looking good, just kidding. I’ve had a few challenges ever since this semester started, including reading assignments and time management. I still find myself doing my homework the night before it is due. I still find myself not reading the textbook pages that are assigned on Blackboard. Another challenge is buying books. I’d rather spend my money on new clothes. However, there’s a lot of aspects of college that I enjoy. I enjoy meeting new friends, the large lecture classes, and all the activities I can do here. Everything outside of school is going great as well. I’ve been having fun, planning trips with friends, and plus I’m getting a job very soon! I am finally going to make some big bucks that I can use for myself. Yes, I’m “mad hyped.” The best part of it is that my mom’s boss is hiring me because he felt like he should – no interview or application needed.

I’m on to the next one, next paragraph that is. I am satisfied with how I am now. There are quite a few things that I have accomplished. This summer I’ve lost 20 pounds from my workout and diet plan. My mind and body has overcome cravings for junk food and reset itself to fit another diet.

So about me: Since I’m a Leo, that can tell you a lot about me already since the traits really match who I am. I love making friends and making people laugh. I love helping people with their abs through my sense of humor and charm (Haha, get it? Constant laughing equals ab workout?). Yes, I think I have charm. The most important values I hold are family, friends, education, health, and happiness. I was raised in a realm of respect, discipline, and mannerism. My family members would constantly remind me to say “thank you,” to chew with my mouth closed, and to keep my elbows off the table when I was younger.

When it comes to hobbies, I am very diverse. I love all things out there and I am willing to try and explore everything possible. When it comes to sports, I’ve tried and played almost every sport you can think of. My favorites are basketball, golf, swimming, billiards, and bowling.

I am strong when it comes to a lot of things in life, but I am also sensitive. However, I am definitely a person to love because I know I love myself.

I identify myself as being Ukrainian and Jewish. I pride myself, however, in being a true New Yorker. I was born and raised in the famous Brooklyn, New York. My parents, though, were born in Odessa, Ukraine – they both came to the U.S. when they were young children.

The first language that I learned was English, because my parents wanted me to get into a smart class in public school. I picked up the Russian language from hearing it being spoken by my family members. I took Spanish for quite a number of years in school, and then started to learn some Italian. I take pride in my religion as well as my culture, but I enjoy learning about other cultures as well. I am very passionate about languages and want to make sure that I have time to learn more of them. I also enjoy watching foreign films and trying to pick up some of their dialect.

What I like best about myself is my drive to succeed and not let anything get in the way of my happiness. I work hard to get what I want, because I know that things are not just handed to you on a silver platter. The American Dream nowadays has shifted its focus into trying to keep up with the changing society, rather than building a completely new life. People are forced to work hard in order to make it through the tough times and everyday hardships of the new America. I am diligent, determined, and I know what I want in this life.

What I like least about myself is my impatience. When I get impatient, I get easily frustrated and sometimes end up giving up on something or someone. I may come off as being mean or rude, but really it’s just that I am on my last nerve. I try to relax more, and take a step away from the situation to calm down and not do anything in the moment. My motto is: never make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions.

The best part about college is meeting new people and having my doors opened to a wide array of new opportunities. I am learning a lot about the myself, the city I live in, and even the world. College is forcing me to get accustomed to the MTA, bipolar New York weather, and the everyday chaos of living in a big city. Oh well, even with the negative stuff, I am going to make the best of college. I will stay optimistic and make sure this college experience is advantageous to me. 

^ This will be me working hard and having to prioritize/manage my time better.

Coming into Baruch College, I had no idea what to expect.  The way college works is completely different from High School, because I now have the ability to walk out whenever I want to, and I don’t even have to raise my hand to use the bathroom. Along with these “privileges” I am now held accountable for everything I do and don’t do. It is definitely a whole new experience.

Education was always a big thing in my family. My decision to attend Baruch was not really a surprise for anyone. It’s almost in our blood to be business oriented. It is also my biggest difficulty when it comes to school. I was most worried about math when I started school. Math was always one of my most difficult subjects. I always had a hard time with it, even in first grade, where the most we were expected to do was to count our fingers. I’ve heard that the math classes at Baruch were brutal. Despite the fact that I was horrible in math, I still had hope to pass this class

As nervous as I was, it was better than I thought it would be. Although the commute is definitely not the funniest thing to do every morning, I could get used to it. As I handed in my first paper, I breathed a sigh of relief. My first month at Baruch was finally over, although things were definitely harder than high school, the workload was bearable.

Day 5:

5 days in and I think I can really get the hang of this whole college thing. And boy does Baruch love its free writes. Just right now I’m writing my thirds on in only 5 days, much more than the 0 I used to write in the last four years.

So its day one of our very first Freshman Seminar class, and looking around is seem allot of familiar faces, maybe because they’re the same people from my other classes, hehe.

So for this free write we were asked to write about one thing that we like least about ourselves, which turned out to be easy because my friends were quick to point out- that’s right it’s my height. Yes, that’s right; Baruch is a place of Giants and me? Well I’m barely average height.

As I start out this year I see myself as young new freshman about to explore the sweet College Life, and I can’t wait to begin!

Day 12:

Today the adviser asked us “What are your afraid of?” I had a simple one word reply to that question: Chambre.  We got this “interesting” Sociology teacher who seems to have a problem with just about everything. What I’m really afraid of is that one day I might come into class late =S

However, other than that I’m your average happy go-lucky guy who is glad to have all these friends surrounding him. Friends and good grades right now are two of the most important things right now.

Day 19:

Embarrassed? I was full on rosy cheeks, the whole lecture class is looking at me, embarrassed just a few minutes ago in Politics before class when I made a joke to my friend and the entire class heard it and pretty much everyone turned around and looked at me. Embarrassed didn’t even begin to describe how I was feeling in that moment. Thank god I lived through it and got over it thought.

I’ve also come up with a new modo today- Live everyday like it’s your last.

Day 26:

So it’s been about a month at Baruch and so far I’m loving it. Sure the early mornings can be quite a drag but after all things seem to be fine. By the time I get my coffee and I get to Baruch everything seems to be ok and my day goes on.

However, time still remains one of my biggest problems not only for me but for some of my other peers. I’ve notices on Tuesdays’ and Thursdays the trains can be especially cruel to its passengers.

Day 5:

5 days in and I think I can really get the hang of this whole college thing. And boy does Baruch love its free writes. Just right now I’m writing my thirds on in only 5 days, much more than the 0 I used to write in the last four years.

So its day one of our very first Freshman Seminar class, and looking around is seem allot of familiar faces, maybe because they’re the same people from my other classes, hehe.

So for this free write we were asked to write about one thing that we like least about ourselves, which turned out to be easy because my friends were quick to point out- that’s right it’s my height. Yes, that’s right; Baruch is a place of Giants and me? Well I’m barely average height.

As I start out this year I see myself as young new freshman about to explore the sweet College Life, and I can’t wait to begin!

Day 12:

Today the adviser asked us “What are your afraid of?” I had a simple one word reply to that question: Chambre.  We got this “interesting” Sociology teacher who seems to have a problem with just about everything. What I’m really afraid of is that one day I might come into class late =S

However, other than that I’m your average happy go-lucky guy who is glad to have all these friends surrounding him. Friends and good grades right now are two of the most important things right now.

Day 19:

Embarrassed? I was full on rosy cheeks, the whole lecture class is looking at me, embarrassed just a few minutes ago in Politics before class when I made a joke to my friend and the entire class heard it and pretty much everyone turned around and looked at me. Embarrassed didn’t even begin to describe how I was feeling in that moment. Thank god I lived through it and got over it thought.

I’ve also come up with a new modo today- Live everyday like it’s your last.

Day 26:

So it’s been about a month at Baruch and so far I’m loving it. Sure the early mornings can be quite a drag but after all things seem to be fine. By the time I get my coffee and I get to Baruch everything seems to be ok and my day goes on.

However, time still remains one of my biggest problems not only for me but for some of my other peers. I’ve notices on Tuesdays’ and Thursdays the trains can be especially cruel to its passengers.

My name is Kevin Kim, and I identify myself as a Korean American student. I believe one of the things we use all the time in our lives is to continue identifying ourselves through every decision we make. Recently I came to realize that I am a stubborn person. All of the talks that I’ve heard to fear nothing and pursue my dreams has been embedded in my subconscious; I can be compulsive about finishing everything that I start.

I think it is a great thing to mature and age; I see life as a very short game where everyone is playing out their lives one way or another. It is also a gift that we have a chance to pursue dreams and not put all our effort into simple daily survival. In that sense Baruch is one of those gifts and we will all change here one way or another. I am here at Baruch where I hope to not only gain knowledge and experience for a better future but also to use this place as a second reserve like a home away from home. Time is infinitely more precious than money (at least to me) and I feel that I have no more time to waste, as I am leaving teenage and nearing twenty.

I am worried that I won’t juggle between family, school, work, and friends successfully. So far it has been too hard to work, study well, and socialize which makes me pray for miracles everyday. As an only child I think very individually from my family which I love, but sense a huge generation gap from. Like many others my main values stem from what I’ve been taught since childhood. Family is very important to me and without a doubt I have a responsibility to help push them towards a better future now that I’m an adult. Seeing this always gives me a motivation greater than my laziness, doubts, and indifference.

I love to play sports where I can tire myself out both physically and mentally. I’ve played soccer since middle school and I got myself into racing after I learned how to drive. Music has also become a surprisingly big part of my life especially after my trip to Europe where I’ve learned to appreciate all types (except mainstream/AT40). I do not hold that much value to material things except gifts with sentimental value; I believe money and time can buy anything.

I like my class and besides the studying its been fairly easy to assimilate into college life. I’m hoping that good things will happen to all of us for the rest of this hectic semester.

What I like about me is that I try to be the best at everything. When I notice that I’m lacking in something, I want to try extra hard in what I do. I also like the fact that I love to clean and keep everything neat and organized. What I dislike about myself is that I worry a bit too much.

I am a Korean American. I am considered tall in my household because my mom is tall. Although I am a Korean American, I identify myself as more of an American because I grew up in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, and lived my entire life in the same area. The roles I play in life are: I am a hardworking student; I am the youngest member of my household yet I help out with a lot of the work; I am a good friend to a lot of people.

My family, friends, and education are the most important to me. My family and friends are always there to support me and vice versa. I also consider education to be very important, because education builds my future and I want the brightest future out there.

I watched my parents work very hard throughout their lives. They’ve been working seven days a week, and seeing them succeed makes me proud of my parents and makes me want to do better than them. I’m very glad and thankful to have such parents because they will always be there for me when I need their help and seeing them work hard to pay for my SAT prep and other expenses makes me want to work harder and show my success in return.

My moment and presence at Baruch College has been productive. I’ve been taking classes that are part of my core curriculum and I’ve been doing well and keeping up with all of them.

My motto in life is “Do what you believe and follow your instincts.” When I follow my motto, that’s when I truly express who I am, my individualism, and that’s when my thoughts and opinions are always correct.

My biggest challenge in school is that I have to be the best at everything. Since I have my full scholarship on the line and since I received another scholarship from the school, I have to do the best I can and study extra hard at home to achieve my perfect GPA. Another challenge is that, because I already have so much on my mind (ex: my grades), it’s hard for me to join clubs and sports and to be active in them because then I feel like my grades will be at risk.

I was born to help people, to strive in the world of business; my father named me not based on meaning, or a special liking to the name, no, Kevin was chosen so people wouldn’t have a hard time saying it. And just like that, I’m flung into the journey of the firstborn son, the one who has to hold the torch, being the first of my lineage to be born in America, first to go to college, first to live the American Dream.

Thus my integrity was founded, with the instinctual knowledge that I was born to be fluent in two languages, that I wouldn’t be allowed to have a problem with math, reading, or anything in school. If there was something I didn’t know while studying or completing assignments, I was the only one that could have helped me. This sparked my self-criticism.  With no one to depend for my academic and social successes, there was no one to blame when I messed up. I ended up doubting myself, holding back my potential for fear of screwing up, and I screwed up a lot.

Nowadays, all I screw up is my identity. Parents of two different religions, from a collapsed socialist nation, and born to live the American way, my identity is only dependant on my choices, my lifestyle. I chose to identify myself as a leader. Being first to achieve also means first to screw up, so growing up I’ve been the role model for my brother, my friends, and my peers. Although being a leader demands a lot of respect, it also commits me to a lot of responsibility. If my brother makes a mistake, he doesn’t mess up alone; I made a mistake too by not doing enough to help.

So now, I’m in college, I’ve reached the point of no return, and I’m just waiting to graduate and get my American dream rolling. So far, I’ve been doing well academically, in fact, the last time I felt this good about my studies was in Kindergarten. Back then, it was big fish, small pond, and the other fish weren’t as clever as I was. Since then, it’s been constant competition, from each Eagle class to each C.I.G. class to each Advanced Placement class, I’ve been putting just enough in to stay afloat with the grades. It’s comforting to finally catch up to my peers, to finally maintain the expectations of the people around me. Still, if I said I worked hard for my grades, I’d be lying.

I’m nothing special. Sure, someday I hope to be, but for now, I’m just another paper pushing college student pressured to do better than everyone else. No extra intelligence, I don’t work harder, I’m just someone who gets by. Despite all the pressure to do well, I hold to my mantra “enjoy the little things”, and I take in every moment life offers me, to never pass the chance to have fun, and make sure I enjoy my life while I’m young enough to do so.

Of all the free writes we have done, the one that has stuck with me the most was “what are you afraid of?” I assume, perhaps incorrectly, that most people respond to that question with things like “spiders” or “heights”. That’s not what I think of when that question is raised. For me, you don’t truly know someone until you know their weaknesses as well as their strengths.

Fear has ruled my life almost since the beginning. First I was afraid that my parents fighting would end in disaster. When it ended, I was afraid of what would happen next. And from the moment I became an orphan, I was afraid of almost everything. When you no longer have your parents there to guide you, your natural fears of disappointing them are intensified. You don’t know what makes them proud, what they want you to do with your life. And the thought that whatever you are doing isn’t good enough is pervasive.

At this moment I can honestly say I am terrified.  I watch my grandmother struggle with her meager pension, I watch my aunt break her back at a job she hates, I watch my step father dance back and forth between addictions and it scares me. What if I am destined for the same things? My greatest fear in life is failure.

But this fear is not what defines me. As humans, we all have weaknesses. It is what we choose to do about those weakness’ that make us who we are.  I could easily follow the footsteps of my family. With so many responsibilities, I doubt any one would blame me for throwing my hands up and walking away. But I couldn’t do that. I am the first in my family to go to college, I am the first who wants to be a professional, not just have any job. I am the one who makes sure the bills get paid on time and there’s food to eat. And most of the time I handle this responsibility without complaint. I don’t do it for praise or because I want to feel superior. I do it because someone has to. And that’s just who I am.

I can identify myself in many ways. I am a tall handsome African-American. I am physically fit; I played many sports that are basketball, soccer, rugby, football, volleyball and cricket. I am the second oldest but the first son so I am given a lot of responsibilities. I am a citizen of the world. I lived in America for 15 years, I lived in Nigeria for a year and I lived in England for two years. It sounds cool to live in different places. It is sometimes said that physical attributes contribute to a person identity. That can be true because if someone is tall, that person is filled with confidence and feel invulnerable. But I refute an argument. I believe physical make-up contribute to our identity but our environment. I lived in three places in my 18 years and only my memory of my life in England and America I remember. So, if anybody wants to know who I am, just ask about my past, there my identity will be revealed.

Even though my personality projects a confident young man, I fear. I am not afraid of death, loss, spiders, clowns or anything else. But I am afraid of one thing. I am afraid of failing the people I love. My father is man that does not accept failures. That principle has wrapped around my head so tight that I agree. I do not want fail the people I love. I want to count on me and witness that I can do no wrong. Many will say that this type of weakness is common but I do not want it to be common, it is a nightmare for me. Lately, I have so many nightmares.

Even though I am afraid of failure I believe Baruch will vanish that fear. As long I am surrounded by the friends I made in Baruch will succeed.

The question of the day is “Who am I?”
Good question.
I am…
Kind
Generous
Selfless
Loving
Understanding
Reasonable
Independent
I actually happen to love these qualities about myself.

I identify myself as a…
A sister
A daughter
A granddaughter
A niece
A provider
A best friend
“The-Person-I-Can-Go-To”
A Mitelman.
You’re all probably thinking, “What is a ‘Mitelman’?” Well, yeah, it is my last name, but Mitelman’s tend to be stubborn, too kind, big eaters, funny, loving, caring, and hard-workers. Now, THAT’S a Mitelman, and you’re looking at one right now.

Don’t get me wrong, though, there are things about myself that I hate, like how I’m…
Disrespectful towards those who do not deserve it,
who love me,
who would fight for me,
who would die for me,
I always question myself why I am not disrespectful towards those who do deserve it,
who hurt me,
make me bleed,
and make my head spin.
I also hate that I have not been the daughter that I should have been within this past year.

I am slightly afraid of heights.
My friends and family make me happy.
Cooking makes me happy.
Seeing people happy makes me happy.
And, of course, food (e.g. ice cream, mangoes, and strawberries) makes me happy.
I find being successful, having good health, and my mother, my father, my brother, and my friends important in my life. I also find myself as being important, because, well, I am the one that is living my life. Oh, how can I forget?! I find school VERY important.

As you all know, I go to Baruch College. So far, I am enjoying it. I love the fact that I am going to school in the city and the fact that I am meeting new people with different backgrounds and learning new things not only from my professors but also from my peers. The workload is not bad, and I definitely do see that if I want to be successful and make it to the Zicklin School of Business, I will have to work very hard. I also do know that teachers are not going to baby me anymore, and that everything is up to me. I am responsible now. It’s not high school, it’s college, it’s being an adult, and I’m so far enjoying it.

Well, I guess that’s enough about me, but before I end, I do want to leave you all with something that I believe is true:

–Everything happens for a reason—

I do believe that the people we meet and the experiences we encounter will help us in the future in one way or another. You all may not realize it now, but trust me, when all of you one day will be sitting on a chair and thinking about all the people you have met and all the experiences you have gone through, you may realize some of the things that happened were for a reason in one way or another.

Thank you.