Monthly Archives: October 2010

I’m pretty tall for a Chinese guy, right? I think I am taller than the average Chinese person. But I still want to be taller. I’m a volleyball player; a short one! I can’t compete against everybody else with such a height disadvantage. Everybody is usually at least 6’3” and I’m stuck all the way down here at 5’11.5”. If I was taller, then my spikes would be stronger because I would be able to get on top of the ball more. But it’s okay. A height disadvantage isn’t going to stop me from playing volleyball. I still play it and I love the sport. Sometimes I really wish that I could jump higher to make up for the height disadvantage. I know one way to actually achieve a higher vertical jump is to work out but that’s a huge flaw about me. I’m too lazy to go work out. I know, I should go workout if I really want that higher vertical jump. It’s funny because my so-called “motto” is “just do it.” Yes, I know it is Nike’s motto, but I actually like this motto a lot. When there is something you want to achieve or a job that you have to do, do it. It’s ironic how that motto is my motto but yet I am not “doing” what I want to do in order to achieve what I want.  

But as of now that is not what I am truly afraid of. Did you guys check your grades for your sociology and pre-calculus exams? I did. I wasn’t too happy with my pre-calculus exam grade. I think most of us aren’t too happy with that. If you haven’t figured out yet, yes I am scared of receiving bad grades and failing classes. Some of you are probably thinking: “wow what an Asian.” Well, I’ll admit, it’s true. Another major fear that I have is being in another car accident. I’ve only been in one serious one where a guy ran a stop sign and hit our car. That was pretty bad. Even though it’s only been one, I’ve been very aware of my surroundings when I’m in a car ever since. It has been 7 years since the car accident and I’ve been gradually getting better at relieving my fear. I sometimes wish I wouldn’t worry so much about small things. But oh well, its life. I’ll get over it sooner or later. In fact, I rarely check my surroundings now when I’m in the car. I guess maybe I already have gotten over it. It sure was a huge fear though.

I identify myself as a humble person but sometimes this is not seen because I’m very shy. I live an extremely safe lifestyle, its sickening. I’m afraid of making mistakes and disappointing those around me. I judge myself harshly, I worry a lot and I fear that I’ll do something very bad and I won’t be able to forgive myself. I feel like this is one of the major things that prevents me from living the life I want to live. However, I am in the process of my own little life-fixing program, where I’m trying to accept that its alright to make mistakes, life goes on and life is too short to live the way I do. It’s in the process, I’ve seen a little progress since I’ve start but we’ll see how it goes.

My sister is very important to me because we have a very close relationship, we understand each other very well. But we’re COMPLETE opposites, I think that’s what adds to the strength of our relationship. We need each other to balance our personalities, most times I’m the one who does the balancing/checking because she can crazy at times.

I enjoy talking, texting or IMing with friends, but most times I play the role of the listener, which I’m not even good at because my mind wanders easily. Even during some classes I find myself wandering off. I hate being the listener but because I haven’t really been living my life I don’t really have that much to contribute to a conversation.

School is going fairly well right now, I still need some mind adaption to the pace and work load but in time I’ll get used to it. I’m also thinking about joining some clubs starting this week. But that’s another problem that I have to deal with: I say I’m going to do something but never do. Hopefully I do.

What I like best about myself? I like my personality. I am very loving and caring person. At the same time, I am very stubborn person which is my least favorite trait about myself. It always gets me in trouble. I identify myself as Georgian. Georgia is the country where i was born and raised by my grandmother.  My family is the most important part of my life. Family always comes first no matter what! I am afraid of loosing people I love. I am afraid of loosing my grandmother who is already aged. I can’t imagine life without her! every time I talk to her she makes me happy.
My education and my family are the most important parts of my life. Because of my education sometimes I have to sacrifices many things. One of them is being with my family. I had to leave Georgia, my all relatives, my friends and come here to have better opportunities and better future. I hope my sacrifices will be paid off.
I always feel guilty when I procrastinate and Don’t do homework on time. I can’t enjoy anything because back in my mind I always think about the home work I have to do and I have less and less time for getting it done. Once I do it I feel free and relieved. I felt empowered when I graduated High School with second highest GPA in school, even though I have been in America for only four years. My personal motto is to always try my best and “never say never.” No one knows what will happen next. I try to live in the moment but it’s pretty hard when you have so many responsibilities such as schoolwork, job and people who need your help and attention.
So far, I like Baruch College. I enjoy classes and I like the professors. My only complain would be that My classes start too early. I try so hard not to fall a sleep even though class is interesting. I hope I  get A’s in all classes and will be successful person in life.

I walked home in the rain yesterday. On my way home, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a puddle on the sidewalk. Even though I only had a second’s glance, I noticed something has changed about me. I looked motivated. I am a laid back guy. I used to do just enough to satisfy academic requirements. This was probably because I found school to be dull and easy. But everything is different now. I am a Baruch College student. The college atmosphere has changed me for the better. I see myself as a normal student with hidden potential. I dislike my pessimistic attitude towards my capabilities. This often holds me back from success. My biggest challenge is to become willing to push myself out of my comfort zone. I know what I am capable of, but I am always shy about it. I am hard working when I want to be. I am spontaneous when I need to be. I am brave when I have to be. I’ve decided to take a new approach. Now that I’m in college, I’ll push myself to become a better student. One day, I’ll be able to expose my inner self with the potential of being the next accountant. Why can I do this? Because I know I can!