When I got into Baruch College I was really happy, but ever since orientation I’ve had terrible luck.  I started to regret coming here.  I hear people say how awesome college is, but so far the only thing I liked about it was going home early and having only four days of class.  It’s such a waste of time taking the bus and train everyday.  My friends who are dorming tell me how fun it is and how I’m missing out.  I thought I was going to do a lot  better in my first semester.  It’s a fair amount of work, but I didn’t expect to do this many essays and reading.  I’m going to miss the block of classes I have this semester because next semester there is going to be a huge gap between classes.  No wonder there are so many people sleeping  in the library.  I can’t believe how fast classes are filled up.  If I could redo first semester, I would have forced myself to study a week ahead instead of last minute.  I don’t think I changed at all.

I Can’t Stand…

The screeching sound of chalk

people in hallways stop to talk

pedestrians halt and don’t walk.

Monstrous wind, the umbrella folding over

Eric breathing down my neck, he likes to hover

crap on a library book cover.

People writing on my possessions

boy band obsessions

Gaon test corrections.

Guys wear their pants mad low

mosquito got me between the toe

18 i cease to grow.

Telling my brother to wash his hand

in the summer I’m scorched and tanned

These are things I cannot stand.

I am Vivian Zhu.  I would say that I am pessimistic, impatient, paranoid, and not that talkative.  Actually, I don’t talk at all if i don’t know a person, but I talk a lot if I know a person pretty well.  A friend keeps telling people how much I talk and the weird things I say, but no one believes her so she starts raging.  It’s kind of funny.

Some concerns I have about my freshman year at Baruch College are meeting new people, my trip to Baruch, and finishing my assignments.  Why is saying “Hi” or saying anything so hard?  Whenever I made friends I never actually had to go up to a person and start a conversation it was always the other person starting it.  Senior year of high school I just met a couple of people and we sat at the same table in the library and whenever it was the end of 9th period I would just get up and walk out.  One of them told me how awkward it was because they just stared at me walk away and I would never say anything.  I was aware of it, but I didn’t know what to say.  Another thing that’s scary is walking to the bus stop at 6 in the morning.  I guess I’m just being paranoid because nothing ever happens in Great Neck.  There is a street light in front of my house, but it doesn’t light up.  I wish someone would replace the bulb.  It is getting darker every week and it’s still September.  It’s my first year of college and I’m afraid I was going to screw it up like in high school.  Originally I went to Brooklyn Tech and I did pretty badly my first year.  I never studied.  I was always cramming information the class before.  Same thing with my homework.  I shut down in the morning and afternoon and when it hit 12 o’ clock I start working.  I was always so dead throughout the day with only 2-4 hrs of sleep.  Right now I am behind in some reading assignments.  I blame myself for not being able to say no.  I didn’t want to work for this person over the summer and now that I went back to get my check, I couldn’t tell her that I just wanted to have a free Tuesday since I was working three days already for someone else.

Nothing much has changed.  The only difference between college and high school is the homework, schedule, and the number of days we have to go to school.  Most of the time teachers take ages just to finish a book, but in English class she assigned us to read two books by the second day of class.  At first I thought I was never going to finish because I read slow, but I actually got it done thanks to those long rides going to school.  When I transferred to Great Neck South HS we had the yellow bus pick us up every morning, but now I have to wake up two and a half hours before class starts.  The 7 train is a pain.  There were two problems on the same week already.  I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like when it starts snowing.  Even though it sucks to have to wake up that early it is nice to leave school early.  In high school I usually check up on the time and 43 minutes a class felt like forever, but it goes by pretty fast now and its double the time.  It’s so awesome only having to go to school four days a week and sometimes it’s less because a certain day is scheduled as another day.

I don’t think college is going to change me that much.  I’m probably going to lose more hair or start growing white hair again and it was going away too.  Maybe I’ll be able to speak in front of people after taking the communications class.  Hopefully I will change some bad habits like cramming.