need to let it out.
October 20, 2010 by Katherine Azcona
So these last few weeks have been a bit tough for me and my family. Besides having midterms and quizzes and group projects and work and life going on I have a grandmother in NY and a grandfather in the Dominican Republic who are really ill. Every time I get a call from either one of my parents I immediately ask “What’s wrong?” without even saying “Hi”. I haven’t experienced any death in my family so this is hard because I’m not ready to see either of them go. I know that they’re old and that things like these are part of life, but it’s so easy to say just that and to keep moving on. It’s scary to come home and see the strongest woman I’ve ever known- crying because her father is ill and she can’t be next to him. So this just means that I need to be super strong. I need to be there for my mother and need be there for my dad and fraternal side of the family when visiting my grandmother who’s currently in the medical intensive care unit. I remember walking into my grandmother’s room last Thursday after receiving a text message from my mother who alerted me saying that my grandmother had gotten worse and that I should be at the hospital with my family.
“Straight ahead,” my uncle said when he pointed out the direction of my grandmother’s room. Had it not been for my aunts standing in the room I would have NEVER recognized my grandmother. She looked so frail and defenseless and seemed to be transformed into someone else. She has tubes stuck down her throat and a gazillion wires entering her neck and arms and head. That night I missed a quiz in a class, but I would have never forgave myself if something were to have happened and I chose school over my grandmother. There wasn’t much progress until Saturday when she finally woke up after all the meds they had administered. She was in and out of sleep but she recognized us all. By Sunday she was breathing on her own and didn’t need the help (and nuisance) of the tubes down her throat to breathe. She’s still in ICU. The doctor says that after her minor heart attack on Thursday she needs to be held under observation because they discovered that she has liquid in her lungs and that her kidneys are failing.
As for my grandfather in DR. My mother is planning to book a trip either tomorrow or the next. My grandfather suffered a stroke which sent him in and out of the hospital for the past 2 weeks. Today he died and was resuscitated. That’s definitely not a good sign. The doctors believe that his arteries may be clogged, but they need to run extensive tests to pin point exactly what’s wrong. My mother is a wreck and it’s killing me that I can’t do anything to make it better.
As stressful as work and school can get, lately they’re the only things that keep my mind off reality.
10 Responses to “need to let it out.”
im sorry to hear that. stay strong, i and the whole lc 13 is here for you!
what he said! Hang in there. LC13 has your back
^^ LC13 is here!!
Always remember that, no matter what the outcome is, everything has a reason for happening. It may not seem like it at the moment, but eventually you’ll see it. Through their sickness, you’re becoming stronger. Also, it’s great to see how much you care for your family.
I’m sorry to hear Katherine :(
You’re a strong person and you can get through anything.
Wish you and your family the best.
Katherine.
Im so sorry to hear such bad news :(
The fact that you can you can post this up proves that you are a strong person.
If you think I can help in any way please don’t hesitate
Hope everything turns out okay ;(
Moti A
I haven’t ever experienced with any family deaths either and I hope I don’t ever have to, though it’s inevitable. I can’t imagine what it feels like for you, but I hope that you’re alright. You’re a strong girl so I know you’ll be able to make it through all this.
I hope to see you soon and I wish the best for you and your family.
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!
I experienced a death in the family 4 months ago also. My aunt died of lung cancer after fighting it for 3 years. It was a tough pill to swallow for me and my family, but I just now look at the bright side she is not suffering anymore and she is in a better place. I hope you feel better soon.
thanks kreshnik
I’ve experienced a death once in my family and it was my great aunt. She was my play mate when I was little and I never knew she was in the hospital until my mom told me that she passed away one night. I went to her funeral and everyone was crying. I saw her resting peacefully and couldn’t get myself to even tear once. I wanted to, but I didn’t want to believe that she was gone and left the funeral home quickly. I don’t know if I regret not tearing up, but she was better off not stuck with tubes surrounding her and depending on massive medication for survival.
All I can say is best wishes for everything that’s going on so far. Remember, you’re bubbly.