The biggest dilemma I face every day is being alone at home. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it. My parents are always at work, and they usually come home in the middle of the night. Since I have no siblings, I’m always at home alone. On the bright side, I have a lot of freedom, but the downside is that it feels very lonely at times.
I have gotten use to this lifestyle since the beginning of high school. Since they’re never home, I have no set dinnertime and basically no curfew. Sometimes I eat at 7, sometimes at 9, or sometimes even at 11. It depends on when I have time to make food, or on when my parents can bring home food. At times I eat out with my friends, or I order take out.
My life often feels like a constant struggle for independence. I never wanted to grow up so fast. I was glad that I was capable of being independent, but at the same time, it felt unfair. Why couldn’t I have normal parents like everyone else who are actually home enough to take care of them? Since I had to be independent most of the time, I felt like I had to depend on my parents as much as possible when they were there, which can be very confusing. So how independent am I really being then?
Due to the lack of time I spend with my parents, I confide in only my close friends and myself. I choose to not tell my parents anything unless they ask, since I don’t think they’ll understand me anyway.
Many of my friends envy that my parents are never home to annoy me or to tell me what to do, but that actually only made things worse. I’m so used to my parents not bothering me that when they do tell me what to do, even when it’s for my own benefit, I get annoyed easily. Sometimes I even feel like they have no right to tell me what to do.
There is a saying that goes “you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.” Family is supposed to be the closest bond, and though I don’t admit it to my parents, it hurts because our bond doesn’t seem to exist. I know nothing changes the fact that we’re a family, but I wish we weren’t so distant.
:’< They'll come around, eventually trust me as people get older they become more attuned with their regrets, take it from me my parents are really old, try 76 and 61. From this time that I've gotten to know the wonderful person that you are I know you'll be just fine: you're smart, strong, charismatic and outgoing, plus you've got all of LC17 for support whenever you need someone to talk to. 😉
I completely agree with Cynthia. Your parents will eventually realize how much of your life they’ve missed out on and they’ll be around more. Just hang in there, keep your head up and remember you have many people to turn to, myself and the rest of LC17 included, if you ever need anything :). Also, I must say that I greatly admire how you’ve handled the situation thus far; many people would’ve probably given up by now, but you keep fighting which just displays your great strength!