Tag Archives: Cynthia
Finding Peace Inside a Convoluted Mind
The cultivation of one’s personality can only be formulated through weirdness. I know I am crazy at times, perhaps a bit over dramatic but hey that’s human nature. People nowadays just don’t understand the mind is complex, talking to inanimate objects sometimes helps. My hair and I just don’t get along! It’s not its fault but sometimes I feel like I must extrapolate every follicle from the root! Come on is it too much to ask? Just one day where frizz control works, or any of the other stupid products! Do you realize hair, that my obsession to tame you, to make you behave and teach you some manors has cost me a fortune! Shampoo, conditioner, curler, straightener, heat protection, hair mask, gel, moose, hair spray, shine, vitamins! I’ve bought you numerous gifts and yet you just don’t seem to care: scrunches, bows, headbands, clips, combs, head wraps to protect you from the cold! Jeez you’re harder to please than any other person in my life, and my daddy isn’t hard please! (Beat) My daddy and I were born on the same day, not year of course, November first all saint’s day. Yet we barely relate, I think the hardest aspiration that will subsist throughout my life is to please him, he wants me to be a doctor but he forgets the fact that I faint at the sight of blood…. He is all too stubborn to deal with, I love him though, I really do, I just wish he wasn’t stuck in the twentieth century; my dad is turning 76 in November. It’s hard growing up and being confined. “I thought I told you to sit up straight” BAM goes the pan as it meets my derriere. I am grateful to my dad however he taught me discipline even though it was not delightful to learn under corpal punishment I learned self- discipline. You could even say I admire him, even back then when I tremulously feared him, he is an intellectual always thirsting for knowledge, he keeps thinking learning new stuff studying medicine even at this age, perhaps because I let him down but he’s let me down too. I can’t forget a curtain call where a tear didn’t descend down my cheek as I realized that no one was there, as I Posed a smile as my last act at curtain call and the shallow applause teased my bottled tears. Yet daddy has always supported me academically, and I could truly say that the highlight of my days is the conversational engagement recourse with my daddy, though it happens here and then not daily it makes a genuine Cynthia simile appear.(Beat) I think in a way this sums up how I think and my emotional responses and need to make faces, if you notice I make a lot of them throughout the day. 
Inextinguishable Flame
Much more than the preconceived notions of people is one’s personal perspective. Identity has had a long draw out trajectory in our educational upbringing; featured as the overarching theme of humanity in everything we do. Primarily when one looks in the mirror we only see our flaws, but when we try to talk about our identity to others we become flawless creatures worthy of praise. A common exercise to escape such notion is writing an “I am” poem:
I am a young intellectual
That has yet oceans to discover
One that at times over-analyzes the simplicity of the factual
I am the Scorpio chick born in November
I am an Individual yet I surmise to the will of others
I am a dreamer crashing into reality
The zealous youth that wishes to be the voice of workers
Though at times I have fallen to personal vanity
I am an upholder of the principles vested by our founding fathers
Yet encompassed my heritage and beliefs makes me vulnerable to the racism in society.
As the flame of democracy is being tested
My inner flame to acquire knowledge is expanding
And perhaps one day as the prior stabilizes; the prior and the latter might be compacted
As I aspire to say I am a beckon of change in the making
Far different from the sheltered guided learning employed throughout elementary, intermediate, and High School; College is a liberating experience that puts the full lot of the responsibility on the student. One is held accountable for knowing what’s due and when it’s due. In terms of time-management, I have no issue due to my pre-acquired experience in high school between running three organizations, schoolwork, work, sports and hanging out with friends. I am a stress-oholic. 🙂
As for the extent my first year of college will have on my personal development, I am partly uncertain, but I do know for sure that I will find new ways of approaching how I do things: become less of a procrastinator.
I am concerned about: I suppose finding a niche amidst the school due to its commuter school-like aspect, sure there are clubs but they are all selective. I am concerned that perhaps I made a mistake and I should really be studying politics, since I am so enamored by it. Yet, my overall concern is that I won’t be able to learn everything that the fire of knowledge inside of me is thirsting to grasp.
