LC 18

Monologue-

Most often, if not always, when thinking about fears the most common include heights, needles, flying, and public speaking. Well, in my case, although public speaking does get me, my fear is bugs. Let me define what fear means to me: nightmares, panic attacks, and loud screams. The response I usually get is, “Well, what kind of bugs are you scared of?” No, no I’m terrified of all bugs; ants, spiders, flies, bees, mosquitoes…you name it, chances are I’m scared of it. When I was little, bugs never bothered me really. However, as I got older, and noticed my sister’s fears of bugs, mine grew to surpass hers. And for those of you wondering if a summer house in the woods helps the situation, let me tell you, it doesn’t. There have been millions of encounters with bugs but some of my far worst include when I was in high school. Sophmore year, a fly flew into my AP Global class. My best friend, who sat next to me, began coaching me to breathe and telling me everything was okay. My teacher, who thought someone died while this was all going on, stopped the class and everyone was staring at me as if I was a lunatic…which I probably was. When he found out it was because of a fly, he almost killed me. Then tragedy struck when I was in my Junior year; the senior prank was releasing crickets throughout the entire school (bathrooms included). That day, I was hysterically crying in the hallway, and by that point everyone knew about my phobia and the first question out of everyone’s mouth was “Where’s Marlen? Is she out of the building yet?” But no, I was still in the building, making my way towards my locker with my eyes shut, and my friends guiding me. So the next time you see a bug…I ask you kindly…get me away.

(I entered a whole description and then clicked something and it all disappeared so my apologies if something shows up twice)

This is a picture of a place called Eagle Lake. Eagle lake is a community located in the Poconos in Pennsylvania, in a very small town known as Gouldsboro. This community is the place where I have spent my summers from age 4 and still go to today. The community contains hundreds if not thousands of people, however, as large as it is, everyone still knows each other and hangs out together at the same common spots. The reason that this picture is so significant to me is because it is a photograph of a place where I have some of my best memories, as well as some of my worst mistakes. The best part of Eagle Lake in my opinion, is not that it is an easy escape from the drama and problems of New York, but the fact that I have met and befriended so many people there, some of which I call my best friends. It has become a place where I want to have my kids grow up one day so that they too can experience all the fun that I did, as well as make the mistakes and create the friendships.

I have yet to encounter a person who can thoroughly and successfully answer the question stated without having to go back to say “oh and also…” How can you really describe who you are? Do you try to do so in terms of your personality, your education level, or maybe your name? If I had to try to formulate an answer to suffice, I would answer in all 3 ways. I am Marlen. Mar like hair, not mar like car, seeming as no one has successfully pronounced it correctly in the past 18 years. No it isn’t mispelled but my parents did decide to think up as many ways possible to make sure I am never bored. I like to characterize myself as smart, kind, and funny. I am loud when I am comfortable, outspoken, always, as well as always opinionated. I am the definition of a clutz and a class A perfectionist. I hate public speaking, unless I have no idea who I am speaking to, but I love math. I like to think of myself as the coolest nerd you’ll ever meet. I am a college freshman at Baruch which I absolutely love. One of my biggest concerns of surviving in college is adjusting to changing classes, professors, and classmates every symester. In Goldstein, the high school I went to, you had the same students with the same teachers all year round. Another concern of mine is learning what is necessary to read and what you can skip through. Reading 300 pages a night is not only strenuous but highly impossible. Lastly, writing a great paper is what worries me most. In high school, I could sit down to write a term paper the night before it was due and get an A+ on it. In college, this seems highly unlikely and the professors want the papers done exactly the way they like it. The college experience already feels much different then that of high school. In high school you are babied and rewarded for doing what you are supposed to do. You go from class to class with one lunch break and see the same exact people in every class. In college no teacher will reward you for showing up, you have to actually participate and put effort into your learning experience. There is much more reading involved and passing a class is your concern, no one elses. Meeting all the new people and professors will definitely be a huge contrast from the high school atmosphere. Although I love who I am, I hope college makes me more amiable when meeting people. People tend to think of me as an ordinary Regina George (Mean Girls) but I am not at all. Aside from radiating friendliness, I would also like to become a better public speaker, without getting nervous, and learn how to be more permeable to change.