LC 18

November 14, 2009 was the greatest day of my entire life. It was the culmination of my track career, that followed the most mentally and physically challenging summer of training I’ve ever experienced. I would wake up every day at about 6 am to go run anywhere from 8 to 13 miles, then come home and go straight to work for the entire day. This was my summer; an endless cycle of running, working and sleeping, until school started and I was able to practice with my team. Then it became school, run, then sleep. There were 7 guys on the varsity squad and we were all in the best shape of our lives at that point. We came into the season with confidence and we knew what we wanted. We wanted to be the best. Months and months of training all for one day: the city championship. We were ranked 3^rd in the city and we knew that with low expectations, we’d be performing as underdogs in a low-pressure environment. Curtis and Staten Island Tech held the first two spots and we knew that they’d be beatable, but it wouldn’t be easy. Consistent training, high hopes, and tons of pasta were our main weapons.

When the day of our city championship came, we knew we were destined for success. We knew we had a group of the hardest working guys on the field and we wouldn’t let anyone take away what was rightfully ours. Following the race, the officials slowly tallied up the points to see who won. Eventually, they announced Brooklyn Tech as the new PSAL Cross Country Champions and I almost passed out from sheer joy. I was so happy. We were the best in the city. Two of my teammates actually cried and we felt ultra boss for the next couple weeks of our lives. The second place team was also crying, but they had tears of sadness and disappointment. We beat them by one point and they were our biggest rivals for the entire season. In a way, I felt their pain. Nobody likes to be so close to winning and lose by such a tiny margin. But at the same time, there’s only one winner. That day it was us. That just shows how competitive sports can get at times.

I chose this picture because it shows some of the people that made high school mega awesome for me. These are some of the guys from my varsity squad along with my team manager(the dude in the green) from my high school cross country team. Cross country isn’t the most exciting sport in the world and it can get really painful at times, but these guys made it a worthwhile experience for me. We had countless hours of bro-time and we ran literally thousands of miles together. We were really tight and I would give anything to go through another year with these guys.

Monologue

I will talk about some specific things that I’m scared of. First, I’m very scared of Japanese horror movie. When I was in Elementary school I watched a Japanese horror movie with my friend. It was the first horror movie I watched in my life. I was very excited. However, I couldn’t even finish that movie because it was so scary. That movie was a huge shock to me and I still remember the scene of a woman in the closet with her body twisted. This movie was not the only movie that I watched. I watched two more which were scarier and after that I never watch any Japanese movie. The animals are the other things that scare me. It seems weird that even small animals give me such a huge fear but I do. Actually I don’t care how big they are or how annoying they are. I just hate them and they are scary to me. Especially the big dogs are so threatening to me that I can’t even stand beside them.

When choosing topics, I thought that talking about my fears would be the easiest because they’re so easy to remember compared to say worst/best thing about you. What I fear the most at this point in my life is growing up and not doing what I like. Everyone always says that college is the place and time to find yourself, but ever since I started going to college, I realized that I don’t know who I want to work as. Sadly, I realized that this world is all about money, and that in order to be happy, I’m going to have to be making a lot of money (or at least enough to keep myself well off). This may sound shallow, but it’s true, especially when we live in a capitalistic society.

Yes, so, I want to find a job where I can receive the financial stability that I yearn for, but at the same time I don’t want to work in a field that isn’t interesting to me or that makes me happy. I was trying to think of something that would make me happy, but every job I think of, I won’t be making as much money as I want. So far, it’s been either do something I like, or make a lot of money, the two being exclusive and not capable of being compatible.

Right now, I’m trying to decided if I should work and do what I like, or make a lot of money; and with both choices I have pros and cons that make me very nervous.



I chose this picture because of its simplicity and the deep meaning it holds at the same time. This picture depcits a man at a crossroads: where he has to choose between and average like and a memorable one. This relates directly to what I spoke of in my monologue: whether I want to make a lot of money (average) or doing something that I like (memorable).

Hmm, I sit here thinking, what to write, what to write… and realize the annoyance of my indecisive personality. Usually, I don’t mind being indecisive, it provokes a curious side of me and I learn lots of things through it by skepticism and criticism. I also can get away with not actually having to pick sometimes. However, obviously there are times when I inexcusably have to side with a certain wing of a dilemma and make a decision.

I used to think that my indecisiveness was due to my carelessness, but I don’t think I’m so careless as I used to think I am. So I’m often left wondering whether I’m indecisive because I don’t care or because I care too much and don’t want the responsibility of possibly having made the wrong decision.

I’m not picky, I don’t care what I eat for dinner or where I eat, as long as it tastes good and fills up my stomach. I don’t care what we do when we hang out, whether it’s going to the movies, shopping, beach, volleyball or just staying in and playing Wii, as long as we spend some time together and have fun. I do care however about my grades, taking care of my responsibilities, and the overall consequences of my actions.

Learning about all the different kinds of decision-making ideologies in my ethics class, like ethical egoism and consequentialism, I realize that I’m not as odd as I sometimes think. It’s not like I’m indecisive about every singe action that I take. Most of what I do is pretty straightforward. So I think I can easily conclude by saying my indecisiveness splits into two parts. Sometimes I’m indecisive because it’s something so small that it really doesn’t require me to do any thinking. Other times I’m indecisive because my decision actually matters and I worry about the results. With that said, I’d prefer you not ask me to make decisions… and not call me a hypocrite if I criticize yours.

I chose this picture because it represents a small part of me. I love taking jumping pictures; I think that a picture of a person in the air is so lively, exciting and natural. It puts a smile on your face every time you look at it just because it looks like fun and stupid simultaneously to jump for a picture. I love the process because it’s always associated with laughter, silliness, childishness and it creates unforgettable memories that you think of every time you look at the picture.

I also love the beach, especially at sunset. It helps to live right next to the beach because I have the opportunity to go out whenever I want, to just sit on the beach or walk around on the boardwalk. The reason I like it so much is because it’s the perfect place to ponder, the calming sound of the water and the sun shining on the water as it sets, help the flow of your thoughts and relieve you of any concerns.

The two descriptions are completely contradictory and that’s the beauty of it, its like yin and yang. I love being loud and obnoxious with my friends because its fun but I also love the relaxing affect of nature. This might be a little insight as to why my best friend calls me a living contradiction.  🙂

Monologue

Among some of the fears that I have, which include scary movies, clowns, and bugs, I am deathly afraid of knives. This fear is only limited to other people handling knives because I have no problem using one but I cannot help the anxiety I feel when someone else is holding one. The feeling gets worse if the person holds the knife towards me. I always imagine that they might clumsily stab me with it so I move out of their direction. For some strange reason, I also don’t like it when knives are left on the table unattended and I’m just sitting there with another person. I feel like the other person might somehow hit the knife really hard and it’ll end up stabbing me across the table. I know that it’s really unrealistic for that to happen but I always have that lingering thought in my mind when I see a knife sitting idly on a table.

Actually, I think that I really don’t trust myself with knives either because I always feel like I’ll drop it and it’ll impale my foot or my leg. It probably sounds crazy but this has actually happened once with a sharp pencil when I was in sixth grade. I borrowed my friend’s pencil which happened to be extremely sharp and then the phone rang so I ran to pick it up. The pencil rolled off the desk and I thought that I would just pick it up after I answered the phone. When I came back to search for it, I couldn’t find it anywhere so I just sat on my chair. It was when I felt something weird on my foot that I noticed the pencil went through my sock and into my foot. My foot still has traces of black pencil lead inside it. If a pencil could do that to my foot, I’m afraid of what might happen if a knife fell instead. This event has definitely traumatized me and is probably a factor as to why I’m so afraid of sharp objects, specifically knives.

Blog

So the picture I chose for my blog post happens to be from when I went to California in the summer by myself with my boyfriend. It was the first time that my parents let me be independent because they’re usually overprotective. I didn’t think that they would have let me travel on my own but eventually they caved in. It was a really great experience for me because when I came back from my trip, they became more trusting of me and less protective. My parents like to baby me and my brother so it was new to try to live on my own for two weeks without mom cooking dinner and washing the laundry. Through my trip, I definitely became a much more responsible and independent person which is a crucial part of growing up. This photo also has another significance which is that it’s from the movie, 500 Days of Summer and I thought that it would be cool if I went to the same location where part of the movie was filmed. Although the park where the bench is located isn’t as glamorous as it is in the movie (there are many homeless people sleeping in the park), I actually enjoyed the movie so it was nice that I got to sit on the same bench that the actors did.

Monologue-

Most often, if not always, when thinking about fears the most common include heights, needles, flying, and public speaking. Well, in my case, although public speaking does get me, my fear is bugs. Let me define what fear means to me: nightmares, panic attacks, and loud screams. The response I usually get is, “Well, what kind of bugs are you scared of?” No, no I’m terrified of all bugs; ants, spiders, flies, bees, mosquitoes…you name it, chances are I’m scared of it. When I was little, bugs never bothered me really. However, as I got older, and noticed my sister’s fears of bugs, mine grew to surpass hers. And for those of you wondering if a summer house in the woods helps the situation, let me tell you, it doesn’t. There have been millions of encounters with bugs but some of my far worst include when I was in high school. Sophmore year, a fly flew into my AP Global class. My best friend, who sat next to me, began coaching me to breathe and telling me everything was okay. My teacher, who thought someone died while this was all going on, stopped the class and everyone was staring at me as if I was a lunatic…which I probably was. When he found out it was because of a fly, he almost killed me. Then tragedy struck when I was in my Junior year; the senior prank was releasing crickets throughout the entire school (bathrooms included). That day, I was hysterically crying in the hallway, and by that point everyone knew about my phobia and the first question out of everyone’s mouth was “Where’s Marlen? Is she out of the building yet?” But no, I was still in the building, making my way towards my locker with my eyes shut, and my friends guiding me. So the next time you see a bug…I ask you kindly…get me away.

(I entered a whole description and then clicked something and it all disappeared so my apologies if something shows up twice)

This is a picture of a place called Eagle Lake. Eagle lake is a community located in the Poconos in Pennsylvania, in a very small town known as Gouldsboro. This community is the place where I have spent my summers from age 4 and still go to today. The community contains hundreds if not thousands of people, however, as large as it is, everyone still knows each other and hangs out together at the same common spots. The reason that this picture is so significant to me is because it is a photograph of a place where I have some of my best memories, as well as some of my worst mistakes. The best part of Eagle Lake in my opinion, is not that it is an easy escape from the drama and problems of New York, but the fact that I have met and befriended so many people there, some of which I call my best friends. It has become a place where I want to have my kids grow up one day so that they too can experience all the fun that I did, as well as make the mistakes and create the friendships.

I chose this image because its a Baruch class so just felt like it, seeing as this man was the reason for the college.

Monologue

I don’t really know what to write about but seeing everyone else using fear as an example I guess I will write about it. That fear is public speaking. I don’t really know why . I started this monologue several times about something and after two or so sentences something clicked in the back of my head that said are you really going to say that out loud? It wasn’t until Sunday night when I had finally given up and the power of procrastination compelled me to write it. I had some bad experiences talking to the class out loud. In middle school, had to do some project and did terrible because I couldn’t remember lines from Homer’s plays. Everyone just stared. It was awkward. Really all I can say about the subject in general. That’s it for the monologue.

I’m obviously a freshman here in Baruch College and I’m willing to major in accounting.  I’m honestly not sure about my major even though I applied for it. Also I’m not sure whether Baruch college is right for me. I’m looking forward to get to know about this school more so that I will be used to it.

I always dreamed of a wonderful campus life in College when I was in high school. I thought everything would be great and cheerful. Of course I knew college works would be tough but I still had some expectations from college. However, when I started to attend Baruch, I realized this is not what I expected. College was very different and more tough that I imagined  and professors were different than the teachers in high school. One thing great about professors were they allowed us to leave when we were done with our tests. That was very cool. Because I didn’t expereinece Baruch College a lot, I don’t know much about it. However, I’m looking forward to experience more in this school.

I apologize for posting late. It has completely slipped my mind. But anyways, here goes nothing…

Who am I? Well, last time I checked, my name is Nicholas, and I’m a student at Baruch College (not my dream school, by the way; but well, we all have to settle for what we got sometimes ~.~). I like to talk, although people only understand 50% of whatever comes out of my mouth (on a good day), which makes me even talk more to make up the other 50% (sorry, guys). I also like to shoot pool (not very pro though…); so if any one of you doesn’t mind shooting pool with an amateur, meet me after school.

As for adjusting to college, it came pretty naturally. I just treat college like I did for high school; and so far that works out pretty well. Yes, there is much more reading in college than in high school, but I wouldn’t complain since that’s basically all there is to it. Occasionally, there are writings to be done; but professors aren’t outrageously unreasonable–there’s always adequate time to complete assignments. So the Red Queen in CUNYLand isn’t too cruel after all.

The bad part, however, is the lack of the college feeling. Strange as it might seem, college, at the beginning, should be like a field trip to Wonderland. You’re finally all grown-up and out of that disgusting, childish place called “high school.” And you just would like to venture into college and roll with the big boys and big girls. And when you realize that isn’t what college is about, you’d get settled down and get your head into the studying game. But before then, you still have that sensational incentive to get yourself involved in college. However, Baruch fails to provide that. As soon as the school year kicked off, we just went right onto school work. The fun and interesting things other than going to classes, if exist, are very obscure. Even after school hours, everyone would just continue on to his or her rest of the day, unlike the college students who live in dorms and socialize and go to places all day long. Not being able to do that is a real shame…

Anyways, like I said before, we all got to settle for what we got sometimes. We just have to work with what we have and get the best out of it. So good luck, everyone! Three weeks down, a lot more to go! =)

Nicholas

Basically, I know how smart I am and I know I could get an easy 4.0 gpa or something close. Since Baruch is only a CUNY i get the perception that coming from Tech I would be smarter than all the rest, but as we went through our first few weeks of classes I realized all my classmates were just as intelligent. Im still in senioritis mode and I know if I want my first statement to be true I have to start doing work, but since all that we have is reading I don’t take it seriously enough. I don’t believe that blog posting will help me get further in life, but I have no choice. Also I’m really aggravated that we have to do two years of tier classes. Im sure the reason is to broaden our “horizons” and expand our minds, but that is what high school is for. Truthfully all of these core classes are a waste of time. I would like to get on with what I have to do, make my money, and move on. Im old enough to make these type of decisions and plus these years of ours lives are vital. I don’t want to be wasting 2 years of it when I could pursue my career and start my life. I am a little bit off topic but this is what I see at the moment, all the other stuff isn’t important.