My thoughts started on rainy Sunday afternoon. We headed to Costco just for fun with a couple of my friends. There were no parking spots left. I got lost into my thoughts as I was waiting impatiently for a parking spot.
Whose idea was it to come to Costco on a Sunday afternoon? Out of all days, why Sunday, the family day for all? This is a complete waste of my Sunday! I have school and work tomorrow. I could be using this time to catch up on some sleep. School… School is actually fun. Besides all the morality and rationality that I am trying to understand in philosophy, I enjoy it. The time is so flexible, I can even go to the gym for a quick workout, but at times, I have so much time on my hands… too much time. I really need to join something here at Baruch. How about a fraternity? The hoodies looks nice. But… it is so time consuming. I am afraid that I won’t be able to manage everything. Afraid… what am I afraid of?
I am definitely afraid of people with road rage. The way people abuse the horn or speeding pass everyone else is such a stupid thing to do. What else am I afraid of? Oh yeah, I’m afraid when my grandma calls. See, the thing with my grandma is that she just got her first cell phone this year. Yes, welcome to the 21st century! At this moment, she is probably still trying to figure out all the functions of the cell phone. Although she doesn’t know all the function, she does have me on speed dial #2. When she holds that #2 key, there must be something wrong. Exams. This is probably the most difficult part of college and the part that I am afraid of. What if I mess up on the exam yet I understood all the material? Please… please don’t fail any exams.
This rain is not making me feel any better, but I think the sun is trying to come out. I need more sunshine. If I am not trapped at school, I am trapped at work. I need something to make me happy. What makes me happy? Friends and family! I think the greatest feeling on earth is whenever I spend some time with them and we share some memories. The second best feeling is… I may sound like a nerd for saying this, but it is volunteer work. The way that people say “Thank you so much” gives… I don’t know. It makes me feel good.
I don’t know. Something still feels weird. It is like I am missing something. What can this be? I am in college with a part time job. What else do I need? What am I missing in my life?
