Author Archives: lucas.lauber

Baruch has become an interesting part of my life, and something that I can critique from now to eternity. It is only natural to me to complain about everything, so I would start by stating how Baruch has failed at meeting my expectations. I can’t get over how cheap this school can be. I know that we have a budget crisis but come on, what about staplers in the library. I have already accepted the fact that the escalators will never be fixed, and the 23^rd street elevators will stop on every floor no matter what. Did any one see how old that building is? It’s got to be older than my grandma! I love the run around that every office does to you, and some how you end up in the same place as you began. I feel bad for every professor that gets ONE marker to write with the whole semester! Does any one else find that the website gives the same run around as the offices do, because I see it. I absolutely love how I get one of the last appointments to register for next semester too. I can go on, but just see me if you want to here all my critiques.

I will try my best to figure out if there are any good parts about this school besides that it is cheap and at least it gives me an education. Well there are a lot of free things and perks to receive, but you just have to find out where there are. I have to thank Freshman Seminar for giving me some maps to this scavenger of free things, other wise you’re on your own. The thing is that the school is magically functioning so in a way it meets my expectations. The school has never exceeded my expectations besides on the day that Gumby and the ginger bread man came into anthropology.

I think my first semester went well considering my freshness to the college experience. It certainly wasn’t a complete failure. There were the good and bad times, the studying for 12 hours, and the studying for 24 hours, the good grades and the not so good grades. But that’s life in a nutshell right there. You never are going to get it all, so might as well take what you got and run with it.

If I could redo this semester again, which I hope I never get the chance to do, I wouldn’t real make that much differences to my scheme of things. Would I probably be more organized? Maybe, but no matter what I could not get rid of the freshman inside me on the first semester. We all know that freshman. The person that gets stuck in the revolving doors, don’t know where the classes are, that get confused in the library, that buys all the textbooks at full price, and that is scared of the unknowns of college and fears of getting a bad grade. There is nothing in my power that I would change about this first semester, besides not making it my first semester at all.

Has my experienced changed me? It’s hard to say based on my point of view because I don’t witness my change, my peers do. Yes, I do sense a change in my stress level, and the never ending twitch under my eye caused from all the stress, but that physical. If my character has changed would depend on how others see me now. I like to consider myself as the same person, just a little bit more educated now than before. Alright I’ll admit my vocabulary might have increased, and maybe my own political views have grown stronger or weaker, but otherwise I’m the same person. And I hope to remain the same fun-loving person I am.

I enjoyed Victor’s Monolouge. He did a fine job in representing us cheap people in the world. I admire his frugality and his tuthfulness. I feel his pain when it comes to buy over-priced and under-used textbooks.  Fight the power man! Don’t give the MTA your $2.25! However the fish…..

Rezwan’s Monolouge conviencieted me that he does have a disharded hate towards our our proffesor for Public Administration, the three musketeer.  I can see what he means, for his eyebrows, stained shirts, pharoh goate, and robotic voice can infact provoke people and cause riots.

And Miaolong Huang or Steven Seagal, I’m watching you! Remember Holy Cross will always be better than St. Francis Prep, regardless of our girl status!

Well it has been a couple of weeks, but if you don’t know my name it’s Lucas Lauber. I don’t blame you if you don’t remember because I only remembered half your names as well. An easy way to remember me is by referring to me as the “Disney” kid. I’m fine with that because almost my whole entire life I’ve been known for my deep fascination with Disney cartoons’ and the life of Walt Disney. That being said, if anyone needs help planning a vacation to Walt Disney World I’m your guy. I’ll help you plan for a nominal fee of either $500 or taking me with you. Either way you’re getting excellent help.

If you ask me what I like best about myself, I would tell you I like being weird. There is no shame in me for being different or unique. Now you may ask, “What’s so weird about you, besides the fact you went to Baruch?” Well, to understand my “weirdness” you must understand the way I grew up.

Well for starters I live in town of midgets. For some reason everyone in my neighborhood thinks that if they trim their trees down to about 5’ 10” they should be fine. Well, their wrong. I’m six foot, and every single day I walk the streets, I bang my head off of their branches. On rainy days, peoples umbrellas become “head-choppers,” because since almost everyone is shorter than me, their umbrellas reach my neck and people just don’t care about whose around them during rainy days.

Besides my awkward height, what is also awkward or even scary is the place I live. I live in a cemetery. To clarify this, my front door enters the street, while I open the back door and there are rows of tomb stones. You’re all saying to yourself “Isn’t that scary?” The truth is it’s not; it’s actually kind of fun, to walk in the night and search for ghost. Of course I search with my dog, I’m not that brave.  I had a couple of ghost encounters; however I could probably make that into a writing essay that lacks all the proofs of the argument that there is such things as ghost.

My unique experience in high school also plays a part on how I’m so different. My high school was an all-boys school, and why I went there has nothing to do with my sexual orientation. I actually went there because of their fine football program. There things that go on in a football locker I will not disclose in this monologue.  In order to survive an all-boy school you have to be incredibly conceited. If you didn’t think you were the best, or acted “macho,” you were considered an outcast, and your peers would literally pull you apart. It’s because of this I’m probably still overly confident all the time.

But one thing that is incredibly ironic in an all-boys school is that even though everyone is “macho” in school, once they see a girl it’s like they jump into their shell and never return. However, this never happened to me. For instance, one of my girlfriends (no, I don’t have more than one) used to go to an all-girls schools, and they would occasionally have dances with my school. She explained to me how all the boys were incredibly “pirate-like” and acted like they haven’t seen a girl in four years. This is probably actually true for most of these boys. However, as stated earlier, that wasn’t the case for me.

I wouldn’t go into Baruch that much; however I will say that Baruch has changed me a lot. For instance, I will never be able to eat Chinese food or have noodles the same ever again thanks to my anthropology class. So to finish off this monologue, I will say that I’m just a work in-progress. Eventually I’ll get more “weirder” in time. If any of you have any concerns about me or want to learn more about me come up and talk. You can tell me about yourself too, but to be honest I probably won’t listen.