albert azar
Setting-englsih class
Vecchio opens door 5 min before class starts and says
V-why arent you in your seats yet?!?! ( makes the face)
class-walks to seats and mumbles under their breath
everyone sitts
Vecchio introduces herself
V-everyone is going to fail except for nima (winks at nima)
Nima-psst albert!
A-wat!
N-I have a bagel!
A-who cares!
N-Im gna eat it now!
A-are u nuts! shell rape u!
N-nah bro dw she likes me
A-just go outside and eat it
NIMA LEAVES
JORDAN WALKS IN LATE with starbux & sits near justin & starts talking
V-walks over and makes scene about his starbux
V-do u not see what the signs say?!
J-what r u talking about? wat signs?
V-(points) there, there, there, and there!
J-oh those!! i didnt see them sry
V-well either throw it out now or im throwing u out
J-ok ur highness
V-watd u say!
J-i said ok no problem
VECHHIO WALKS BACK TO BOARD
Justin- (trying to get her attention) MRS!, MS!
V-no response
J-DR! TEACHER!
V-no response
J-HEY! WOMAN!
V- watd u just call me!?!
J-DENY DENY DENY
V-Only address me as DR Professor Master Vecchio Queen
J-yes commander!
V-assignment, ethical issues, is abortion right or wrong? there is no wrong answer
Danny- I think its wrong
V-wrong! how dumb can u possibly be?!?!
FAHIM-(to himself) i no this answer!
F-i think its right!
V-u think we should kill babies!? ur dumber than danny!
Albert-(raises hand slowly)
V-no questions albert!!
NIMA-(walks in) is it both?
V-yes nima ur so smart
N-speaking of abortion, look what i found! CONDOMS! (throws them in the air)
V-wow nima, since u solved the problem of abortions, u get extra credit!!
N-yay whoopie
laila-(raises hand) i dnt understand your assignment!! it doesnt ake sense and all u do is bash us!
V- too bad! since i had a tough time in school, so will u!
laila- well u no wat!?, i dnt need this class or ur annoying lectures!
I thought i could survive but I QUIT-(walks out)
start song- i will survive
-before words start, vecchio say
V-none of u will survive my class-hahahahahahaha (evil laugh)
song ends- we all get back in our seats
V- if ur done being stupid, we can get back to learning
V- WAIT! my witch senses are tingling
kevin walks in late
V- excuse me! r u in this class?
k- ye y?
v- do u no how late u r?
k- ye u got a problem with that?!
V- YE I DO!
she shoots him in the arm
K-crying and screaming all the floor
V- if anyone helps him, they get one letter deducted from their grade!
Fahim walks slowly to kevin to help him, but Vecchio sees him and shoots him in the chest killing him instantly
(FAHIM IS LEFT THERE FOR THE ENTIRE PLAY. HE ONLY GETS UP DURING THE LAST SONG)
kevin crawls to his seat
V- if u looked on blackboard last night, i assigned 2 books to be read for today
did anyone besides nima read them?
class- all mumbling that they didnt do it
omar- howd u read both books?! (to nima)
nima- wat u mean? vecchio didnt come to ur house and read it to u also??
class- DEAD SILENCE & STARES AT NIMA & VECCHIO
V- since u all read the assignment, im giving u 5 minutes to write a 10 page essay on how the book relates to this picture
pic-blank page
Qui-i dnt understand, wat is that a picture of?
V- clearly u didnt do the reading if ur asking that question
Gibran- but i read the books and i still dnt understand the picture
V- well that just means ur an idiot and didnt take notes good enough
Gibran- wat notes? u never told us to take any notes!
V- its implied that u take notes with everything! ur in college now
Gibran- screw this! life sux anyways, im gna commit suicide (leaves classroom)
V- oh good, less papers to grade (sits down in her chair)
2nd song- another one bites the dust
end song-everyone sits
Justin-yo albert u got the stuff?
A- dude not now were in class!
J-i cnt wait any longer, im dying!
A-just hold out another 10 min, ull get ur fix
J-im begging u, i need it now!
A-alright fine! take it (give justin bottle of water and cookies)
J-thanks ur a lifesaver (starts eating)
Vecchio hears justin chewing and runs to his desk
V-what the hell do u think your doing!
J- (talks with mouth full)
V-give me those cookies or ur gna fail
J-(talks with mouth full)
V-(grabs cookies and throws in garbage)
J- You monster!! (throws water at vecchio)
Vecchio starts melting
V-AHHHHH im melting!!! ahhhhh im melting!!!
Everyone sings and dancing around vecchio’s melted body
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!!
as u can see from the play that i wrote, i dnt like dr. vecchio very much. she is continuing to redicule us and be very unhelpful. also, she has no intention whatsoever of helping us become better writers. she simply tells us what a good paper should consist of but when she returns the papers, she does not indicate specifically what is wrong with the paper. when she gives us back the rubric she gives us a grade along with a couple of words that describe why our paper is not good. however when asked specifically where these things apply to in our paper, she says that its not her problem to figure that out and that we should go to the writing center to figure it out. i understand that college isnt suppose to be like high school in that the teachers do everything for u, but in a class of 20 kids, i believe that she should atleast give us some time to talk about our papers