Josh. Simple, yet complicated. Coming up for an answer to this question is not an easy task. Ten minutes pass, fifteen minutes, already, half an hour in front of this laptop and I am still drawing a blank. My life is not a sad story, nor what you might consider an exciting one. I am eighteen years old and I’ve spent the first eight years of my life in Italy. My father is Sicilian and my mother is Venezuelan. And yes, I do speak sicilian and I do know some spanish too. But all this doesn’t really help in figuring me out. My mind is always all over the place. I don’t even know who I am. I know the things that make me happy but not many people do. That is because I don’t like to reveal my true self to everyone around me. I’ve always had trust issues. That is why I am very family oriented, they are the only ones I can truly trust. I feel that I am misunderstood. When people meet me for the first time they assume that I am outgoing and happy all of the time. And that is what I want people to think. Why should I bring down others when I’m having personal issues? My mentality is that one should always think positive, be optimistic all of the time. And that is how I try to seem on the outside. That’s how far I’m going to get into that, I feel uncomfortable talking about this, remember, I have trust issues… Anyhow, I don’t know what I’m writing about. So much time is passing and I needed to write something down. Basically I am curious to find out who I am also.
Moving on.. My concerns..my biggest one has to be becoming just another face in the crowd. I have too much ambition and too many dreams to get lost in the crowd. But in a school this large, the odds of me becoming invisible are creeping up to the odds of me possibly becoming someone important. Time management is another concern of mine. Its not that I procrastinate a lot, its that I find myself to be always busy. Now that’s no excuse but some people have to actually work to maintain what they have. That brings me to my third concern; I am really concerned that people will think that I have money because of the way I act and dress. As I said before, don’t judge a book by its cover. Money has always been a big issue of mine. It took my family ten years to get to where we are now, from being poor immigrants to middle class citizens. I work very hard for everything I have and I am very grateful for it all. I don’t want people to assume that I am made of money just because I have a some-what good sense of fashion. Everything I buy , I buy myself. Who paid for me car? Me. Who pays for insurance and my phone bill? I do. Hard work pays off. For someone who doesn’t have everything handed to them on a silver spoon, I am very content with my life and everything I have.
The transition from High School to College has not been too difficult. I had imagined something completely different. So far the only major difference I noticed was the amount of freedom we are given. Everything is up to us. How much we put into the college experience is how much we will get out of it.
College will only change me for the better. I think that I will become more mature because in College they don’t baby you, they treat you like adults. And when your treated like an adult you tend to become one.
You know, before I wrote this, I tried reading other peoples blogs and everyone sounded to interesting. I don’t want to just write things everyone wants to know because it will make me seem more interesting, I only speak the truth. I think about the things I could have wrote but decided not too. I wish there was a better way for me to put this, but there are too many things to explain about me that are difficult to write about. I don’t really know what else there is to say, other than I feel like my current state of mind got in my way of expressing myself more…
Josh Campanella –