Who Are WE? We're PR3!

There are so many things I’d like to know about myself. And the things that I do, I wish I knew for sure. Because a fact is only a fact if there is known evidence. I’m constantly changing. My opinions, my ideas, my pure knowledge. It’s all kinetic. I am human though, a living, breathing, speaking, walking, and learning human being. With the positive however comes the negative. I fear, I love, I hate, I make good, I do bad, I mess up, and I make right. I know that every action and emotion I go through will be validated by the success I will potentially earn. Earn, not receive. I believe success comes in all forms. Whether comes in a personal, educational, or career sector. This is where I fall short. Each of these types of success brings its successes and fear.

                Personal success to me goes hand in hand with finding your own identity. Something most people go to college to find, and others never find it. I believe in my short 18 years and 7 months I have an idea of who I am. I am a strong willed, hard headed, caring, intelligent young woman who always seeks a challenge for a potential growth. This personality has yielded me to my friends who also make me who I am. Part of each of them lives in me and encourages me to do things that I normally would never do. It does not matter who or what I fear I know that my friends will always persuade me to be a better person. And love….as a wise friend one wrote “love is probably the best invention of voluntary motivation to do anything that comes along.” I know that no matter how badly I may fight with the ones that I love, they are making me a better person deep down inside. Each argument sticks to the back of my mind, correcting my wrong doings. Things like this bridge the gap between my personal and educational life.

                As of this day, my educational and my careers sectors are one in the same. It is MY JOB to go to school; a completely social and educational event. I know at a college level the friends…and enemies I make now will become permanent facets in my life. This is where my fear comes in. My fear to fail always prevails over me, and the fear of leaving this school without any type of lifelong connections. My family has always told me how important these friendships are imperative. So what if I am to make more enemies than friends. What if I leave and cut our time in half. What if what I learn here is different from what I will need to know much later on? It’s all so subject to change. Fearing that if I do poorly in school always pushed me to do more, because in my strong opinion fear facilitates action, no matter what you do. If I feared nothing, nothing would get done. Point blank.

There are so many things I’d like to know about myself. And the things that I do, I wish I knew for sure. Because a fact is only a fact if there is known evidence. I’m constantly changing. My opinions, my ideas, my pure knowledge. It’s all kinetic. I am human though, a living, breathing, speaking, walking, and learning human being. With the positive however comes the negative. I fear, I love, I hate, I make good, I do bad, I mess up, and I make right. I know that every action and emotion I go through will be validated by the success I will potentially earn. Earn, not receive. I believe success comes in all forms. Whether comes in a personal, educational, or career sector. This is where I fall short. Each of these types of success brings its successes and fear.

                Personal success to me goes hand in hand with finding your own identity. Something most people go to college to find, and others never find it. I believe in my short 18 years and 7 months I have an idea of who I am. I am a strong willed, hard headed, caring, intelligent young woman who always seeks a challenge for a potential growth. This personality has yielded me to my friends who also make me who I am. Part of each of them lives in me and encourages me to do things that I normally would never do. It does not matter who or what I fear I know that my friends will always persuade me to be a better person. And love….as a wise friend one wrote “love is probably the best invention of voluntary motivation to do anything that comes along.” I know that no matter how badly I may fight with the ones that I love, they are making me a better person deep down inside. Each argument sticks to the back of my mind, correcting my wrong doings. Things like this bridge the gap between my personal and educational life.

                As of this day, my educational and my careers sectors are one in the same. It is MY JOB to go to school; a completely social and educational event. I know at a college level the friends…and enemies I make now will become permanent facets in my life. This is where my fear comes in. My fear to fail always prevails over me, and the fear of leaving this school without any type of lifelong connections. My family has always told me how important these friendships are imperative. So what if I am to make more enemies than friends. What if I leave and cut our time in half. What if what I learn here is different from what I will need to know much later on? It’s all so subject to change. Fearing that if I do poorly in school always pushed me to do more, because in my strong opinion fear facilitates action, no matter what you do. If I feared nothing, nothing would get done. Point blank.

There’s always been an internal struggle with me, a type of fight between my three beings. Who I am, who I’d like to be, and who I was, all struggle amongst one another for the dominant power. My mother once said to me “Eva, You need to stop being like everyone else, and figure out who you really are” Well, the problem with that statement is I DON’T know who i really am. I know i thrive in many facets. I know I’m very artistic and intelligent. I know I’m very outgoing and I know I have have a basic belief in human beings. I also know that I am very insecure. I know I am afraid of failure and defeat. I know that I cherish the words people say to me. I know that if I don’t succeed, especially in college, that it’d be more than a defeat to myself but to my family as well. I believe that school will always be the same: A social intsitution under the disguise of an intellectual one. It is however different from highschool in numerous ways. For one, it’s better. College is the way to see yourself in a new light, a light that is shined on you through others. You meet people who have the same interest as you, people who are real, and come from real backgrounds. People who know how to make things right, people who want to make the woorld a better place. And the classes are fantasic, even the worst of them. You learn from a person who has a real knowledge and love for the subject, and someone who is willing to share that knowledge with you, someone who WANTS to learn it. College, unlike high school, gives you opportunities that will take you as far as you want. Knowing all about all the things that college, in particular Baruch, can offer you, one can take on a lot of anxiety about it. I am soo nervous i will fail. I’m afraid that I won’t get into Zicklin and I won’t be able to achieve what’d I’d like to. I’m nervous that because I went to a commuter school that I won’t get the FULL college experience. The experience of partying and having fun. And most of all, I’m afraid I’ll leave Baruch without great friends. I always lived by “fear stimulates action.” So I know that no matter how much anxiety I may have about something, that i have the ability to make the best out of it. That is why I know that the first year of College at Baruch will be a  good one for me. I know that i will be able to use it to shape myself into a better person. I know that will meet a bountiful amount of great people who will be in acquaintance with for years to come. I know I will expand my knowledge of the world, humanity, and culture. I know my first year of college will be the most fruitful.