Sample First Blog Post {Titled: This Is Worse Than Boiled Tongue&Baked Pickles}

What I wrote as my mandatory blog post [#1] last year:

“Right now I’m sick & this is stupid.

A.Tell us who you think you are.

Fuck that. It’s none of your business & I certainly don’t have to explain who I am to the likes of YOU. But fine, let’s play;

I am ; Olga ::
Russ. Ukrainian.ˈɔlgə/ [ol●guh, ohl●ga]
●noun
1. Burrito inhaling, joyful, jigglypupuff, raming, Geeker, Ⓐlice in ⓦonderland Lover.♣
2. Holy

I’m an amazingly nice person. If you needed a shirt I would take mine off and give it to you. I was born in Ukraine, came to the U.S.A. on December 1st, 1999 [7yearsold]. I can’t pronounce the “th-” sound properly. If you make fun of the way I talk I will punch you in the face. If you criticize/chastise me because I am a female I’ll get pissed off. [Two/Three things that piss me off]. You’ve been WARNED. But other than that I love a good debate & discussion. So if you do want to DISCUSS how women might be inferior to men or vise-versa then you’re on.

Why am I annoying in class? Because I love being involved& maybe even teaching people something that they didn’t know before.

I know waaaaay too many random facts. Wanna know one? Ask me. I could probably write my own “USELESS FACTS” handbook.

I’m loyal & polite & I can’t stand when someone isn’t. I cannot stand impolite people. There’s no reason to be one, so you’re basically a jerk.

Wanna really know me? Talk to me. I definitely don’t bite & even though I’m awkward, I’ll do my best to get a smile or a laugh out of you. 😀

B. Top 3 Concerns About Baruch

#1 That I’ll regret not taking full advantage of all of Baruch’s resources.

#2 That I might regret not joining a sorority

#3 That I’ll end up taking too much on at one time & failing

C. Baruch=/= High School

I’m not special. In HS, I was in one of three programs, Humanities & we all pretty much knew each & the Medical Science kids.College: Nothing personal, limitless amounts of people, no one cares about you, & if you’re not good enough, you’ll fail, you won’t scrap by and just make it.

D. Ch-Ch-Changes

My OCD Planner tendencies will form again and my life will become so organized that my soul will drain from my body and I will become a boring, plain, wheat personality with no exciting or impulsive tendencies. [Run-on  sentence alert.] However, actually, I feel like I’ll become nicer to people & I’ll dress better & I’ll be comfortable with myself. I’ll probably still be a procrastinator, but I’ll learn how to control it and utilize it and use it for my betterment [e.g. making up false dates for assignments, like I did in high school!]. Also, I’ll sprout horns& wings& a furry tail& I’ll change my name to GIGANTOR!!!!& and tattoo my skin blue.

Note: I make up my own terms. Immigrant card, played! & I have more street credibility than Drake. Olga Glyantseva→O.G.”