Freshman Seminar 2011: CFA

One of the free write questions was to describe a time when I felt empowered. My freshman year of high school my sister had told me to join an activity called SING. She told me that I would love it and that I would meet new people. I figured if she loved it I might as well give it a shot. For those of you who may not know what SING is, let me explain. SING is a competition between the freshmen and the sophomores, known as sophmen sing, the juniors, and the seniors. It is a student run show that lasts for 50 minutes and usually contains about nine songs that are rewritten to fit the theme of the show. The script director, the person who writes the show and the songs, picks the theme with the other directors and works from there. My freshman and sophomore years I was in the chorus, which pretty much means I jumped around on stage and sang as loud as I possibly could. My sophomore year was a complete disaster. Our show was the definition of terrible and it was twenty minutes of the chorus pretty much jumping in circles. We were the joke of SING. It was then that I decided that I wanted to give script writing a shot. After weeks of debating with myself I went and signed my name to the candidate list. I honestly never thought I would get it but a few days later positions went up and there was my name. I was the new junior sing script director. Writing the script was not easy but it was definitely worth it. After our final show the art and theater teachers were telling my grade how amazing our show was and that we deserved to win. My show. They thought the show that I had written deserved to win. It was incredible. Being the script director gave me so much responsibility. It was up to me to create the story, write the songs in the show, select a cast, and then do everything I could to make my script come to life. It was intimidating at times, knowing that everyone counted on me to keep things together, but I loved every minute of it. SING was definitely an experience I will never forget. Our show lost and while it was incredibly disheartening not being able to hold the trophy I took away so much more from the experience. I was able to create a show that people enjoyed. I was someone that my fellow directors looked to for guidance. The friendships that I made, the memories, and the show in its entirety were better than any trophy I could have gotten. To watch our grade go from the biggest joke to actual competition, and knowing that I had a large part in it, was an accomplishment on its own. SING will forever be the best part of my high school experience and I will never forget it.

Fear. Its often something that is inevitable. Even if we feel fearless and dominant against the world, the truth is we all have underlying fear. Whether it be a fear of an animal or inanimate object, we all have them. Growing up, my list of fears went on for days. Some of them including my fear of spiders, midgets, scary movies, looped roller coasters, sleeping in the dark, the Easter bunny, and so many more. Even though I may still be afraid of most of the things on this list, a few new fears have been added on.

Upon attending Baruch College, I was so excited and thrilled to start a new chapter in my life… until college actually began. I then realized that there’s so much in the real world that I don’t think I’m ready for yet; I realized, I’m afraid of growing up. When I was younger, so many people would ask me “ What do you want to be when you grow up?” My response: a princess, but unfortunately for me that’s impossible. But now after many years of maturing, I know that during my time here at Baruch, I need to decide what I want to do for the rest of my life and it’s terrifying. All my previous decisions seem irrelevant compared to deciding my career and future. Do I really want to sit in a cubicle all day crunching numbers? Will I be good at my job? Will I like what I’m doing? What if I never get hired by a major corporation? These questions haunt me almost everyday. I know my future is important and how I perform in college is crucial to whether or not I will be successful. But what if I don’t succeed in college?

For me, high school was a breeze. I didn’t study to my fullest potential, but still managed to do above average. Some of my high school accomplishments include Honor Roll, National Honor Society, and 3 Prestigious Awards at Graduation. After my successful completion of high school, I’m afraid I won’t be as good of a student at Baruch. With college comes a lot of work, and studying. The question is, can I handle it? I know things won’t be handed to me, and if I don’t study, I will fail. The hardest part about college is knowing that these 4 years determine whether or not I can handle the real world. There’s a constant pressure to succeed in college. One mistake and my future could take a turn for the worst. Will I crack under the pressure?

Independence. At some point, we all have to learn to be on our own. We all have to learn to do things independently and not rely on others to help us with our burdens. When I think about it sometimes, freedom sounds awesome. I get to make my own rules, and live life the way I want to, without any hesitation. I could make my own decisions, without the influence of others. I get to stay up as late as I want to, without getting questioned by my dad. I can even eat junk food for dinner. But on the other hand, I realize it will be just me against the world. I’ll be completely independent. I’ll be living alone. My work load will have to be completed without the assistance of others. Just Me, all the time. I’ll have, what feels like, the weight of the world on my shoulders and for that, I’m terrified.

Personally I think I’m a nobody, I’m still 17 and haven’t achieved much so there’s no need for me to be too big for my britches or whatever that saying is. I’d like to do something with my life and hopefully achieve noteriety while I’m still young enough to enjoy it, but as it stands now I don’t have anything that defines me aside from an obsessive interest in anything and everything drug-related (especially pharmaceuticals).  I’d like to say I’m concerned with keeping up with my work during my first year at Baruch, but seeing as how this blog is already over a week late, not to mention the other work I still havent got on top of, maybe I should get working on that… Unfortunately going to school in the city has proven to be quite a hassle, I wish I at least lived closer to school but have to travel for more than an hour every morning is a pain, I’m starting to think I should’ve enrolled in CSI instead. Also finding a job seems to be quite a bit harder than I thought, because of this oh so ingenious block system I have to wait until next semester to have a better schedule that gives me time to work during the week. I dont see college as that much different from high school, besides the rediculous price-tag attached to my so-called “higher education.” I thought that once I got into college I might find something I’d want to pursue in a career, but so far my first year of college has only made me want to drop out and find work in a construction union or something like that. The more I go to classes the more I want to find work outside of the system or business sector, whatever you want to call it.

Early in September my mom told me to buy a planner. I was all like nahh mom I’m just gonna memorize my assignments like I did in high school. Here I am working on a post that was due last week… I now own a planner. Should’ve listened to my mom from the start but I’m 18 years old and am always right, right? I like sports, and my music. No specific genre for me. I’ll listen to anything from Kanye West to Skrillex, basically anything that I think sounds good. Ever since I was 7 my life has revolved around hockey. On weekends I was at the rink killing myself trying to help my team win even if it meant taking a puck to the face. Holidays were usually spent far away on tournaments; money was spent on new equipment. It takes a lot of time and dedication to play hockey. It has also helped to shape me into the person that I am today. Tell me I can’t do something and I’ll try and prove you wrong. This is the competitive edge that I gained from playing hockey. I focused almost all of my energy on this sport especially during the last four years of my life and I think that is the reason I did not have the best grades in high school. Even though going pro would have been a dream come true, it is time to realize that was not the path for me. I had a fun childhood playing but school is now my number one priority. Wow I just got deep on you there, time to change the topic.
My biggest concern right now has to be time management. With such a heavy workload I need to be on top of things. Unfortunately I am a well-practiced procrastinator. My logic is usually “I’ll wait till later cause I need to eat and then rest my mind before I can concentrate” night comes and I say “well, after the (Met, Ranger, or Giant) game I should have enough time if I stay up till midnight and study on the bus” after the game I realize the only possible chance of me finishing all my work is to pull an all-nighter.
Commuting has been a big issue for me. When I talk to my friends who dorm at other schools they tell me how they can wake up 15 minutes before class and get there on time. Meanwhile I have to give myself at least an hour 45 just to be safe because you never know when there’s going to be traffic or what not. I just hate how much of my time is wasted sitting on a bus, standing on a train, or waiting for the ferry. All of this wasted time can go towards sleep which I don’t get enough of anymore.
My third concern would have to be networking. This may be more of a challenge to some then it is to others. For me personally, I’m not afraid to admit that I can be a little shy at first but once you get to know me you’ll see that I am a kind person and even funny at times.
Right now the biggest differences for me between high school and college are the commute which I talked about earlier, the work load, and the freedom that I now have. I have definitely already done more work this year then all of last year as a senior. And no matter how much time and effort I’m putting in, I still feel like I am falling behind. At least I am finally out of the catholic school system once again. I don’t think I could stand another year of wearing a uniform and following all of their pointless little rules. Overall Baruch has not been bad at all but it would be perfect if it had a hockey team.
I am hoping that my first year in college will help me figure out what I want to major in. This is something that has been on my mind for quite some time now and I am still not 100% on what I want to do. I find this process very scary because it’s really important to me that I choose a cool career that I enjoy… ohh yeah and makes a lot of money too. Aight time for me to do some math homework. -_-

Who I am
My name is Julia Paternoster, I’m 18 and I’ve lived in queens my entire life. I went to a catholic high school called St.Francis Prep and I absolutely loved it. If I was asked the question who do I think I am about 5 months ago, the answer would be all about volleyball, I was the captain of my high school team and all four years we never lost a game. But since I’m all grown up and in college i have to stop pretending I’m still in high school. so basically now I’m boring and don’t do anything productive. I work in soho at a doctors office which is great cause i go in whenever i want to and they don’t care about anything <3.  Besides that I’m an aunt to the cutest 3 children alive and i love them to death. Im a sister, a daughter, a girlfriend, a really good friend, and i usually keep to myself with people i don’t know… unless I’m making some sarcastic comment that i can not hold in.

3 Concerns

1. One of the biggest concern i have about my freshman year is the fact that it takes me an hour and a half to get to school everyday… and that one day i will just decide i don’t want to do it anymore. I take a bus and two trains to get in and it usually doesn’t bother me at all but I’m concerned that when there is a massive snow storm and the gems of baruch don’t close school… that i won’t come in at all and continue to not come until all the snow is gone.
2. my second concern is that i will spend too many nights like tonight… taking 6 hour naps… watching hours of tv…eating everything in my house… basically anything i can think of to not do school work. When i know nothing is due the next day i don’t catch up on things that i should probably be preparing for, even when i tell myself i should be doing it… i just physically cannot do it.
3. my last concern is…. uhhm… failing math. I’ve always had 95 averages in math and that is the only thing I’m good at but my math class now is just impossible to me. i do not have any interest in it at all and its a problem.

Who am I? Well I am:

*An average girl minus the average part;I’m uber short*

*I can be lazy*

*I have bad time management & can be forgetful even though I tell myself I will do something &  leave notes, which would explain why this post is two days late- SORRY!*

I think I am someone reliable, trustworthy, responsible and someone who is hardworking, but I’m well aware that I am no where near perfect. I know that although sometimes I tend to make mistakes it’s okay because I’m trying out this thing where I’m trying to be more positive about life and the obstacles it may throw at me from time to time.

I’m an artist as well because I love to draw even though i’m not that great, I love art, I love music, I love photography. I love being creative and imaginative. There are a million wonders in this world it just depends on what you make them to be.

I am also the baby of the family, with two older siblings that old enough to be my parents, heck they are my second pair of parents.

With that being said, my top 3 concerns about my freshman year at Baruch College would be:

1) Time management: In high school all my classes were one after another & my breaks were no where as long. Being in college with two to three hour breaks in between each class makes it hard to avoid procrastination which I’ve had a bad history with.

2)Adjusting # students classes: In my high school we only had 100 students per grade & everyone knew everyone & it wasn’t hard to get to know everyone, especially since there was 25-30 students per class. In college the size of the class ranges from 35-410 students that’s a big jump!

3)  Passing all my classes: The way the classes are taught are way different than how it was in high school. The professors aren’t there to guide you through everything, rather they just give you the assignment and expect you to complete them and if you don’t understand it’s your own responsibility  to find out the answers by asking for help or finding out other ways to help yourself to understand. They don’t baby you. You’re on your own.

What will make my experience here different than in high school are the people that you meet, the opportunities that are presented to you because of what you’ve achieved in high school, how well you perform in class and how you put yourself out there.

The first month of college has already changed me noticeably.  I am no longer as dependent, I’m slowly but gradually becoming more responsible I’ve matured a lot and by the end of my freshman year I’m pretty sure that I will become a better role model for those who are younger than me. I know that I will be wiser from those who’ve I’ve met, my professors and from the decisions that I will make.

As one can see this is very late, but thats a problem that i have been facing for quite some time. I am a very forgetful person but a good person at heart. I always like to help people no matter the circumstances-which has gotten me in a lot of trouble ove the previous years. I like to have fun all the time, its something that I need to keep myself running properly, this sounds like I have issues but I really don’t.

I tend to be quite mysterious around people, sometimes I would be the leader of the group but other times I wuld keep in reserve and not say anything. Which brings me to another thing, I have a studdering problem, its not that I studder all the time is the fact that I am scared to studder. This has always scared me and prevented me from talking a lot in class or with my friends.

I am a hero, to the numerous people that I have helped. I have solved many of their problems and I hope I can still do this. I like to see the happy faces on people. I guess one can say that I am a  therapist or something but its something that needs to be done.

I am a artist. I love to draw! Drawing is a passion of mine that I never got to enhance and now i can’t really do it anymore but the occasional doodle. But I hope one day that i can find it in me to continue drawing and maybe sell a few drawings and get rich off it.

Well, being a freshman in college the top three concerns that I have are not being able to keep up with the work, procrastinating on the homework that I have to do, and failing. These things really scare me and I hope that i don’t get stuck in these three problems. I am scared of these things because these are my worst habits when it comes to school so i have to step up my game now.

How college is diferent than high school is that there is more work to do. There are times that I wished that I was back in high school just becasue the work load was smaller. But its a change, I came from a small high schooll with a graduating class of 100 and now there are thousands at college so its a good place to meet new people.

How the first year in college will change me is that I would be more organized and work harder. I hope that I can get rid of my procrastination problem and that I would work twice as hard. I hope that college is that slap that everyone gets in life telling them to wake up. College is not high school or middle school where one can slack off and still expect to get a 100 for their grade. Even so, i hope college teaches me something new about myself.

Well peace out!