Freshman Seminar 2011: CFA

I never looked forward to going to Baruch, all my friends are gone, and it’s just a bigger high school. College is supposed to be the best four years of our lives…it’s been one of the toughest 5 months of my life. Being thrown into a business school makes me feel so outcasted. I literally have one friend in this school. I feel like I get judged a lot, and underestimated. I don’t live in the library, I’m loud and obnoxious, and school doesn’t phase me as the most important thing in my life. I’m sure I have more people who laugh at me, and hope I fail because of all these factors more than people who are supporting me, but i’m okay with that.

If you think about it, we go to school to get a good career to work until retirement for a higher amount of money. But what if we’re not happy during the process? We work for the rest of our lives, even though right now we just say we’re busting our ass to get a good job. What next? We’re working overtime for a raise, we can’t go on vacation with our family because we have paperwork to file, where does it end? The purpose of going to school, grad school, etc is for the credentials it rewards us, not because we enjoy the learning process.

College has made me realize that this may be the first step for the rest of our lives, and we’re working to achieve something, but that something is endless, and if we’re stressing over the process, then theres no point. We work so hard in school to make a mound of money in the future, but if we’re not happy doing so then whats the purpose?

So although I may not have been happy 6 out of the 7 days of the week since I started college, I realized something far greater than grades could have bought me. We try hard and suffer to be happy in the end, but i’d rather just die doing what I love and being happy than looking for a better future.

And the clubs at our school need to stop raping me with flyers every time I go up the escalators.

So I know this is my first year living in the city and all and I should be broadening my horizons by the means of fashion. However, Forever 21 never seems to let me down! I know they’re everywhere, but the one’s in the city in particular have such great things! And you really can’t beat the prices. Down here by the dorms in the lower east side, there are so many cute boutiques and little stores that have great styles. However, a few weeks ago while I was browsing, I picked up a beautiful button down shirt, very thin material. How much? It was $85! Who on earth would spend that when you can get such a similar style at Forever 21 for about $20! And the quality is nice too. It allows you to wear that trendy look that your wallet can actually afford. Anyway, as you could all tell, I’m writing this blog for extra credit and writing about fashion was one of the options, so please don’t laugh at my random proclamation of love towards forever 21!

Before I start this let me just say that I do not mean to offend anyone with my words. But the truth is, I really can’t lie. I hate Baruch! I really hate everything about it. I hate how dark and dingy it is. I hate how slow everyone walks. I hate the grossly over packed elevators. I hate that everyone dresses like they are already in the business world. Relax, this is college. Put on some sweats please. I hate how I get weird looks for being the one who wears sweats! I hate how I hardly have any friends here… making friends was NEVER a difficult thing for me! It is so cliquey here. More than anything, I HATE how no one in this world knows what Baruch is. The whole reason that I chose Baruch was because it was cheap, and conveniently located so I could stay training with my ballet coach in NYC. She is absolutely amazing, but some days when I walk into Baruch with the same pit in my stomach that I have everyday, I wonder if it was worth it to stay with her. Because even though she’s great, Baruch is painful. I would’ve chose Fordham if it weren’t for the money. I mean 50,000 a year is absurd. When i visited Baruch last year I knew I wouldn’t be happy here, yet I chose it anyway. And I think this is what bothers me the most. I hope this year at Baruch College gets better for me because so far it sucks! Sorry for the rant everyone! Haha

It’s not easy for me to talk about myself, because I honestly don’t think there is much to discuss. I don’t have high expectations, nor do I have goals for myself. I know that this period of my life is just a phase, one that will have another one to follow. I can’t imagine where I will be in 3 years, much less what i’ll be doing the rest of my life. I’ve learned to accept this, and I realized it’s not important to know what you like, what you like to do, who you are for that matter. It’s more about the process of getting there, and I think I’m happy.

Baruch may not be the right school for me, although I love the convenience. I am not smart enough to become a business major, nor am I civil enough. As for now, I have no hobbies, I work as a hostess in a New York cafe that takes up the majority of my weekend, and the remaining 5 days of the week I go to school. I used to be interested in swimming and volleyball, but then again i hate exercise.

I haven’t changed at all since the start of freshman year, I still have the same views, lifestyle, and opinions that I did at the start of the year.

My life is stagnant, and I’m okay with that. I don’t need a lot of change, i’m happy with what I have right now.