I wouldn’t say I’m a nerd, or a jock, or any specific stereotype. I spend my time going to the opera, volunteering at a soup kitchen, reading literature, and doing many other fulfilling things in my spare time. They’re a jumble of things that have no relation to one another. I guess that’s how you may explain me though. It’s probably because I spent a vast majority of my life always trying to live up to the standards that were set for me. But, I’ve always been confused as to whether or not what I am doing is right for me. Always allowing myself to be manipulated into doing what someone else wants because I crave others’ approval. And consistently trying to accomplish too much. I’ve always been pressured into being best at anything I do. I mean ever since I was a young girl it’s been drilled into my head that I must always succeed. How could I not be a perfectionist? Don’t get me wrong it has its highlights, but, over and over again I’m told never to waste my time doing something that won’t benefit my career in the long run. Learning to play the guitar was worthless, teaching myself to bake was pointless, and deciding to come to Baruch was a disappointment, according to my “elders”. Having a father who owns an Executive Recruiting Company, one uncle who is a licensed CPA, and CFA, another uncle who has been a lawyers for the past 30 years, and 4 cousins that all graduated from Harvard can put a lot of pressure on a girl. Of course everyone around me expected I’d end up somewhere like Boston University or NYU, but that’s because I never really told them I wanted otherwise. It explains everything about me. It is why I start studying for an exam two weeks early, why I’m in business school instead of culinary school, and why I’ve spent every summer since I was 14 at national youth leadership forums, yea fun. In highschool, I started studying for the SAT’s in freshman year. Sophomore year was filled with numerous visits to college campuses. Junior year I was juggling being captain of the mocktrial team, debate team, and being president of the community service club. In my senior year I enrolled in an international business competition, even though I have no interest whatsoever in finance, derivatives, or learning about anything that has to do with investing. I already have my course schedule mapped out until senior year. Always competing can be really difficult, and it tends to push people away as well. I rewrote this monologue 6 times because I didn’t know what I wanted to say and I couldn’t understand why it was so difficult to decide. I think that’s why it was so challenging to complete this assignment because I never really focus on me. I had no idea what I wanted to tell you about myself, but I guess that’s because I don’t fully know who I am yet.