Monologue

by deepika.kalla

Those days. Those sweet days. When it was just me and the soft air and my endless, dream filled head.  The mornings would be bright and sun drenched. Each leaf on the tree would sway with the breeze and sweep the grass lovingly.  My chalk would be scattered across the pavement and the pink patches of chalky dust would be air-borne with a single blow. The flowers would smile with their beaming colored faces. My toys would come to life when I played with them, and my stuffed bear would sit comfortably on the bed, smiling as I tucked him with me in supple sheets before bed. The days were warm and never-ending. Around the backyard I would frolic, sitting on my swing set admiring the gorgeous green leaves. From each leaf, splashes of sun would peep through. Time was mine, imagination endless. Whatever I desired was for me. Collecting painted auburn leaves in my pocket and finding them there later all dried and crunched. Catching cold snowflakes and sculpting a perfect snowman on the whitest day of the year. My collection of odd ended things would grow as I added little pebbles, sandy shells and old battered up coins and such. I’d lie on my glider and watch as the clouds floated in the sky, each cloud swirling into a wonderful image. I would close my eyes and dream. Dream of a place I had never been. Dream of a thought that had never been thought.

I’d make the kitchen pots a one of a kind drum set.  I’d use chopsticks to play the pots while my adoring audience, my crying sister, would listen. I would prepare food in my world renowned restaurant located in my backyard.  I’d watch the gingered neighborhood kids play hopscotch and tag as I balanced each footstep on the curb. There were no restraints, no boundaries and no pretenses. This was my childhood; the moments where I felt safe, carefree and boundless. It would seem that my dreams would be infinite and my aspirations far from few.  My desire to become a teacher or an artist seemed so real and wonderful at the time. It seems all so bittersweet in retrospect.  Each moment a sweet, precious time capsule forever embedded in my mind while continuing to be a fleeting past that can never be relived again. The thought of my childhood only reminds me that time can change all things, leaving me in a forever changing state.  Right now my childhood seems so distant and forgotten but it is only a matter of time till I remember my adolescence and young adult years as dreamy memories of the past. Photographs will harbor tears and emotions and old conversations will stir in my head.   My friends, my beloveds, my foes and myself will all become part of the past, as I journey on through this life.  Life is a forever transforming moment that I want to love, and feel with all I can.