This is the picture of my main group of friends who i hung out in high school with minus one or two. These were the kids that i spent every minute of the day with. we did everything together and i put this picture up particularly because looking at reminds me of who i used to be and the things that i used to do.These were the people that helped make me into who i am today. They are what we called ” The Family” and no one was allowed into it.
Hello my name is Michael
DeSena. I am a freshman here in Baruch College. At first meeting I usually
identify myself as someone who is shy and timid. A person who sits behind his
books and computer all day staying away from something as simple as fun. I play
this role so that people can’t judge me at first and then when I am comfortable
enough with them, I let them see who I truly am. I am fun, outgoing, extravagant,
athletic, and somewhat intelligent. I like partying, hanging out with my
friends, but most importantly spending time with my family. I am simply someone
who is always trying to make everyone else smile and be happy.
There are plenty of things in this life that I like but one thing that I like best in
life is who I used to be. It seems a bit sad and confusing at first but is not so much when you think about it. I miss
who I used to be because the person that I am now is someone who has had to mature, accept responsibility, and look to setting a good future for myself and that is something that I just haven’t adjusted to yet. The idea of putting behind my childhood and finally growing up is something that I am having a lot of trouble with and I’m sure most of you are too. Now most of you won’t believe this but in middle school and high school I was always the popular kid. I lived day by day enjoying every minute of life. I was living in the wise words of Wiz Khalifa “Young, Wild, and Free”. I miss being the kid that was friends with everybody, the kid who was invited to all of the parties because of my fun and charming personality which most of you still have not been able to come across with me yet. I like who I used to be because I was always the big fish in a
little pond. I used to be the kid who always got into trouble but smooth talked
his way out of it. I used to be the life of the hallways and parties in high
school, doing things I was never suppose to be doing but never getting caught.
I miss getting good grades without ever having to even open a textbook and never
having to do homework because I’d always just get someone to do it for me and
then id pay them back by buying them lunch or getting them into a party. I miss
being the real me. Because now, now I’m in college. I’m the little fish in a
big pond these days and quite frankly I don’t like it. Although I’ve made some
new friends and have even kept most of the ones I used to have. I still miss
the Mike I used to be. The hallways here are filled with kids that I don’t know
and that don’t care a thing about whom I am or who I used to be. The parties
aren’t even half as good as my high school parties which make me think “Are the
parties here just really bad?” or “Were my friends just really ahead in our
party skills?” One of the few good things college has given me is the freedoms
it offers. There is usually plenty of time to get assignments done and a lot of
free time to just hang around and relax. I guess college is something that I
will eventually adapt into but until then, I’m definitely not a fan. The
workload isn’t so bad so far except for calculus. Calculus is like hell on
earth for me and is usually like the nail in the coffin for my feelings on
college. Most of the time I just end up being disappointed by the grades I
receive and mundane assignments I get from classes.
The bad part about that is that
disappointment is my biggest fear in life.
Most people are afraid of things like snakes or spiders. Well I’m afraid
of something less physical but more mental in disappointment. I’m scared of disappointing myself and the
people who support me. Disappointing my family especially my parents is such a
scary thing for me. Midway through my senior year, I had decided to myself that
I was not going to attend college because I just felt that schoolwork and
getting a job sitting in a desk behind a mountain of paperwork was not
something that was going to make me truly happy and I planned on moving away to
a remote place. When I brought the idea up to my parents, disappointment was
their first reaction. When I was finally convinced to attend college, my dad’s
words to me on my first day were simply “Do your best, I know you won’t
disappointment us”. That was the point in my life when I decided that I could
never disappoint him again and am almost scared to because I don’t want to let
him down.
The
only thing in life that has gotten me over this fear was something my
grandmother told me a long time ago. She told me “Quest e la vita” which is
Italian for “This is life”. These words
have always gotten me through the tough times when I’ve been disappointed by
something or been broken by someone. To me it means, “Hey, this is life and
there’s nothing you can do about it. Sometimes things go right and sometimes
they go wrong, but whatever the case may be, just stand up and be strong”.