New Turf
Sometimes I wonder about this. I wonder how people view me, and I want to know what they think. It makes me ponder if I would change myself if I knew what other people are thinking. Am I a bitch that no one wants to be friends with? Or maybe people think that I’m studious and hardworking, and want to be friends with me to use me. I don’t know, and it has been a huge problem for me. Maybe I’m so pretty that the girls are too envious to want to befriend me? (Just that thought reminds me of my best friend from HS; she was always like “Honestly, I think I’m so much prettier that her.”) That’s what my dad said, jokingly, at the start of this semester. All I know now is that all my friends so far, apart from one exception, are male. Of course, I don’t really mind this much, since according to someone, I’m just like a dude who likes to check out other girls (which I totally do NOT do). However, the problem that arises is that I do have a boyfriend, and he is the jealous type. The thing is that I totally understand why he would be. People have told me before that I come off as pretty flirtatious towards both sexes, but that really is just my personality, and so it is understandable that he would feel this way. So, a very immediate goal for me this semester is to make more girl friends! That is much easier said than done, and I am trying.
There is one big thing that really distinguishes the difference between high school and college, and that is that I don’t know anyone at college. There are so many people, and I’m just not used to it. In high school, I knew practically everyone, but here, I’m sometimes lost and alone, with no one to say “Hi” to and no one to walk and talk with. This loneliness often would remind me of times in high school where I wouldn’t have to try and find people to hang out with, and that my boyfriend was there all the time. The biggest transition for me is that my boyfriend is no longer by my side all the time. Now, we have to scrape a few measly hours a day to each other when we were so used to being together pretty much 24/7. I feel like this first year alone without him definitely makes life harder, but it also gives me an opportunity to work on my own and be independent. I don’t want college to change me, since I’m perfectly content with how I am now, and what I want to obtain from attending Baruch is the passageway to internship/job opportunities, and of course, the education. Can’t forget that part, now, can I?
on September 20th, 2011 at 3:55 pm
First off, you shouldn’t change yourself based on what other people are thinking. You can’t please everyone. You should focus on pleasing yourself. Yeah, we change as we grow older…but that’s due to experience. Funny thing is Jammie, we’re all like you. Hell, I’m like you. Don’t really have friends. Lonely walks to class. Lonelier breaks. But it’s crazy how if we branch out to people, we find that they’re looking for the same thing we are…friendship. Friends will come. We’re only a month in. DAN AND I ARE YOUR BOYZZZZZZZZ
on September 20th, 2011 at 10:33 pm
Jammie, Lee said it perfectly. You be you. I just got out of a year long relationship with my now ex-girlfriend. It’s weird to be without her. But there are also benefits that come with it. Last year, I couldn’t make a decision unless it was with her. Now I am finding myself more independent and I find myself doing stuff for me, not us.
Friends aren’t hard to make. Everyone wants a friend. No one is going to say that they have enough friends and one more will throw them overboard. People are just nervous to put themselves out there. Now, if only I could follow my own advice…
All in all, LEE AND I ARE YOUR BOYZZZZZZZZ. peace.love.LeeJammieDan
on September 26th, 2011 at 12:15 am
always be true to yourself, you say you dont know anyone in college, that’s only because it’s a fresh start, a new life, there are people you are friends with already in college, yea there might be some times where we’re alone going to class, but if you open up, dont shy, introduce yourself you’ll obtain many new friends, definitely keep your option open to a sorority, a lot of people meet new and have a lot of best friends due to joining sororities, keep your head up.