Surviving College 101 Section: FTA

When I was seven, I thought life was like a fairytale. I kept telling myself that if I needed help, my fairy godmother would show up and resolve my problems by just saying Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo. I kept wishing upon a star hoping that one day peter pan would appear in front of my window and take me to Netherland. Most of all, I was convinced that one day I would find my Prince Charming. Not just any prince charming, but a Prince that would confront me with lollipops and candies. It wasn’t until my tenth birthday that I realized fairytale was not reality. I stopped expecting a magical woman to show up or an immortal boy to fly in my house. Regardless of my realization, I sustained the belief that my Candy Prince was still yet to be found. Fortunately for me, I think I might have found him.
It was a cold winter night when I saw him again. I was in the process of mailing out salvation boxes when my club president realized we were short in money. I volunteered to bring some home for safe keeping. Due to the weight of the boxes, I called up a friend for help. He said he was busy at the moment so I decided to call up a boy that I had just recently started to talk to in school. I didn’t expect him to leave his cozy house but he showed up 20 minutes later. He took the boxes and started walking. On our way back to my house, we started a conversation regarding to our likes and dislikes. He told me how much he loved skittles and offered me some. I wouldn’t say that was my complete fairytale story but doesn’t it sound like a prince coming to rescue the princess. More importantly, doesn’t he share similar characteristics to my ideal candy prince? What makes him a potential prince is his ability to ask me to be his princess. Of course, marriage is beyond the question. I was talking about his creativity of asking a girl to the prom. Every girl hopes that the way the guy would ask her to the prom would be memorable. I, for one hand, experienced something that was unforgettable.
One night in February, I heard a knock on my window. When I opened the shade I saw my candy prince. He was standing outside my house, next to his horse, to be exact it was his bike. Because my family was asleep, I was unable to invite him in. As a result, we talked for hours outside my house until 1 a.m. Finally, before he left, he asked me “would you go to the prom with me?” I was caught by surprised. Without hesitation, I said yes. YES. YES. YES. It felt like I was living a fairytale life again. After that day, I knew he was more than just a person I see in school; he was a potential candy prince.

I like best about myself is that I have a good family and I love my families. I like lest about myself is that I just can not speak English well.

I am the person who is unconfident. Because of the unconfidence, I am much dependent of the other people who I think are better than me. I always seem to be in two minds on important matters. I always want to get help from others.

I am afraid of death. even though no one can escape from death, but I still feel afraid of death. It is hard to accept that  my families leaving  me forever. I am afraid of death, because I don’t want to go away from my families and friends forever.

My family is the most important to me. I have my parents, my grandmother and all other families in my family. Anyway, I don’t have any reasons to think my family is not the important to me. I know many people have the same idea to me.

“Struggle to learn, learn to struggle.” is my personal motto. I like it because it remains me to study hard even I will face much difficulty. the college courses are more difficult than the high school courses. I have so many kinds of challenge in the college. I have too much reading material to read; the material is more complex; much writing should be done. I am now feeling struggling with the college, but  I will do my best and struggle to learn.  

For many students college life can be a really frightening experience. However, on the other side of the coin it can also be the one of most rewarding and best experience in your life. For it is in college were you begin to explore who you really are and begin to express your opinions and views. But, nevertheless what I want to get across is regardless of how you view college, whether you find it exciting or scary in the end it is your own choices and decisions that shapes and forms the experiences that you have in college.

I remember my first few weeks in Baruch College how I made a promise to the  bronze statue of Bernard Baruch and to myself that I would do my best in order to excel in my school life and would try my very best to not commit the same grave errors that I did in high school. So far the only thing that I have excelled is in, finding out firsthand the difficulty in breaking a habit. Although I have not done the best that I could possibly do, I feel that it’s not the end of life for I know that the mistakes that I made today can be corrected by the success of tomorrow. Even though it sounds utterly ridiculous, I apologize to Mister Baruch using the words of Tyron Edwards- “Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past.”

With that said, hopefully I will able to learn from my mistakes and errors and try harder to make the right decisions. Whether it’s a small decision such as spending my time re-reading the work in order to better understand the material when I could’ve have spent it by playing computer games or eating. Or if it’s an important decision such as studying for a midterm or final instead of hanging out with friends or eating I could instead open up a textbook and start studying. Regardless of whether I make the right choice or not, all those decisions will shape and form my experiences in Baruch College.

My personal motto is “practice makes perfect”. It is a very common saying that has already been overly used yet it is very true. Most of the things you do need practice, for example playing the piano or dancing. There are very few people who are born with natural talents and only need minimal practice. Most of us need lots of practice in order to perform better. I do believe that a lot of things take practice in order to be good at it. When you practice thousands of times, you will eventually get familiar with the subject, so it becomes easier. After all, no matter who you are, someone with natural talent or an ordinary person, you need practice to achieve higher.

One of my personal examples of practice makes perfect is when I first learned English. Spelling has always been my biggest problem. I need more practice than anyone else in the class. So in order for me to achieve higher, I would write each word ten or twenty times. Practicing and writing out the words allowed me to memorize the spellings. During tests, I wouldn’t be afraid that I would forget how to spell a word, because having practiced many times; it gave me confidence that I know the spelling well.

Apart from all the hard work in school, I’ve learned that relaxing yourself at a certain point can also help you gain motivation to work a step further. Each person had their own ways of relaxing themselves. For me, sitting in front of the TV watching my favorite shows is what makes me feel relaxed. I feel that home is the most comfortable place for me to be because it separates me away from all the chaos that might be happened outside. My home is my little circle for me to be away from everything and relax. I’ve found that relaxing myself can help me maintain myself at a stress free mode. There are too much stress out there, doesn’t matter if its school, work, or personal issues, you have to part yourself away from stress first and let yourself prepare to face the chaos.

My family is my biggest support to overcome these obstacles. My parents are always supportive of my decisions. They also give advices when I face problems or fear. Sometimes I do not agree with the decisions they made for me, but in the end I know that what they do for me are always in my best interest. I try to do my best to accomplish what they’ve set for me because it is the only way to thank them for being always there for me.

 I really do not know what should I write for my monologue.  Then I read my free writing which is writing during Freshman Seminar Class, I think it might give me some ideas about myself.  Then I really find something that is inside of me, but I did not thought about it before.

 I am a “thinking person”, not a “action person”.   In another word, I like to think, to image, but I do not like to do, to try or to achieve.  For example, some of you might know StarCraft II, it is very famous worldwide PC game.  I decided long time ago about I am going to buy this game, and play this.  But I actually did not buy this.   I feel excited when I watched replay about this game on Youtube, I know I love this, but never play this at all.

 I also find out that I do not like to change.  Let me explain to make my point clearly.  My everyday is like one day, everything is the same.  I only go to same bakery to get my breakfast.  I only listen to same music on the way to Baruch College.  I only go to one barbershop to get haircut even when I move to different area of city, etc.  Once I like something, or get used to it, I will not change.

 I love to sleep.  I think Getting enough hours for sleep is the most important for me.  When I was in high school, I go to bed at 11 o’clock, and wake up 6 : 30 a.m.  When I was Freshman in College, I go to bed at 12 o’clock, and wake up 8 o’clock.  I always sleep more than 7 hours a day, that is the minimum of I can endure.  And enough sleep hour can give me full energy for next day.  By the way, I like to get a short time of sleep after I finish class every day.  And I need three alarm clock to wake me up in the morning.

 That are three things I find our from my free writing.  Free writing is a person writes continuously for a set period of time without regard to spelling, grammar, or topic.(Wikipedia)  And I think free writing is based on our subconscious, it might give us some idea we never thought before.  I will keep doing this exercise, and get to know myself better.

           I am me. And who am I? I would say people call me Hua, but that doesn’t make up for who I really am. Now that I stop to think about it, I am more complicated than my one syllable name can ever indicate.         

           Sometimes I really want to figure out that I am not stupid,I know what is right or wrong for me to do, I get around,I listen to my friends, and I have family members to tell me what to do,but it is not means that I will follow their opinions definately.I know it’s becoming to keep hair shortly and neatly in summer, but I still to keep my hair too long which I think it’s cool and suit me. I know I should wear glasses when I go outside,otherwise,I could not see people or something else clearly, I am still not want glasses because I want to experience the real visual world, people may think about that I am stupid and crazy. Well, anyway, I know what is best for me, and I do not care about how other people think about me.It’s vital for my friends to understand that I am not really stupid,I want everyone  to know this is my real me.
            when I am free and get nothing to do, I always ask myself whether I am afraid to do something or do I have some good memory. Actually, I am not sure whether I feel afraid of something,Maybe, I just concern about how to get uesd to communicate with people in the public in english.  on the other hand, I usually value the moment that I play with my friends and my family,especially my girl friend, even though we have already separated.Hanging out with them just make me feel really comfortable,even if we are not doing anything, I still could enjoy being around them because they act as someone I can lean on, they are important person in my life. 
              I love my quote ” I need to take a action to be successful and never give up”. 

              I want my life to be successful so I like to engage in activities which could draw my attention with great passion.It  makes me feel better that I could have a great time during teamwork ,I know that it is important for me to develop my abilities to work together  with people around me. However,sometimes I hate myself because I would hesitate to make a decision so that I would miss the significant instant to get closer to success. On the other hand, I love tortoise who never give up even though it might fall behind the others, and it just hand on until it accesses to success in the end.I hope that I can do my best to accomplish my goals regardless of all the obstacles that will come in my way as well as tortoise.

              I am me who is more complicated than people ever indicate,I will try my best to adjust myself to make everyone around me understand me drastically.I wish that they would like me as their friend.

“A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work. “Just like it says, the success will not come to you unless you work harder. I always feel energetic when I think of it. Especially when I just came to this country, I had to deal with the new language, the new culture and the new people. It was hard for me to fit in American society at the beginning, but I knew I had to work harder in order to reach my goal in this new country. I pushed myself to keep going forward, and never gave up. Finally, it helped me to reach my goal, the College.

I am a student in the Baruch College now, this is a totally new challenge for me. After one month of studying in the Baruch, I realize this challenge is not easy to handle. I have to deal with about twenty pages of reading every day, and lots of essay assignment. The class material is not easy to understand, and some readings are long. It is hard to focus on that in a long time. But I realize I cannot just sit there, and do nothing. I have to be aggressive on learning. I tell myself to keep reading if I do not get it, and pay one hundred percent attention in the class.

I am extremely afraid of writing essays. I always feel dizzy when I see there is a writing assignment due soon. I am not a good writer, plus I know my paper always has tons of grammar mistakes. I feel a lot of pressure when I see this essay will decide most of my grade. So I tell myself I cannot finish it carelessly, I should go to writing center if I have the grammar issues; I have to push myself to be better. I have to work harder if I want good grade.

My family is important to me. They always support and help me whatever I do. They want the best future for me. That is why they work so had to send me to this country. They know this country will give me more and better opportunities. And I know I cannot make them disappointed so, I have to work harder, and pay them back in the future.

Life is full of obstacles, but we cannot just give up when we face the difficulty. Instead, we should work harder, and overcome it. We will have a better future, if we have a determined heart.

I always ask myself, “What is happiness?” and I always recall that I have a happy childhood. During that time, everything in my life can make me happy. The life was free form cares and worries. Everyday my little friends and I played games with each other; we could share our happiness in an easy way. When I grew up, the whole things have changed a lot. The happiness won’t be as simple as that time any longer. There are increasing troubles and decreasing happiness for me. Many things become unhappy. When I wonder what the happiness is, I cannot say a specific word to describe it. Sometimes I feel happy, that is a feeling, and it is not easy to say why I am happy.

And when I grew up, I began to be afraid of something that I am not afraid at my childhood, such as loneliness. I am afraid of being alone. It makes me feel lonely, and this feeling will make me uneasy. When I was a child, I never felt I was lonely, the little friends always stayed with me. All of us did not know the ways of the world, I thought at that time we lived in our own little world without any trouble and sadness. As time goes by, we become lonelier and lonelier in the big world.

I am also afraid of losing my family. My family is the most important thing for me. Without the family, I will feel lonely and hopeless. The family supports a home for me, the home is the place that we stay with each other, it does not need to be very big or luxurious, where we are, where our home is, and it makes me feel warm. I believe my family will not give up me forever. Everyone can give up me but they won’t. I trust them, and they trust me. We lean on each other for support. When I am sad or depressive, they will give the greatest support to me, I am very grateful, and I love my family.

I don’t know what I like best for myself, and I don’t know the reason, too. But I will try to figure it out. Now I am a college student, I think I should be more industrious. There are lot work needs to be done every day, so the biggest challenge with the school is the time management. I will try my best to work for it. Then enjoy my college life.

My life quote is “victory won’t come to me unless I go to it” said by Moore.

This quote encourages me to try my best to achieve my goals no matter under what kinds of hardship. Never stop my steps towards victory and just dream about it, because victory is the goal I set up before; only if I lower it, otherwise it cannot move, therefore the only way to get victory is I go there by myself.

I still remember when I was in elementary school in China, I did really poor at classes, especially at English class. One day, I failed the vocabulary test again, my teacher seemed like could not tolerate me anymore, and decided to call my family. Then after the class, she brought me to her office, informed me that she would make a call tonight and asked me for my home phone number. That was the first time I felt so scared for school stuff. I didn’t want my teacher to tell this to my family, maybe because I really cared about my image in my family’s hearts or something like that. Therefore I started to beg my teacher and promised her that I would definitely get 100 on the next vocabulary test by saying if I failed to do that, she could call my family at that time. My teacher really moved by me and gave me a second chance, and the result turned out that I didn’t let her down. From that time, my life changed.

I started to make higher and higher standards for my school work and wanted to achieve greater and greater victory. Three years ago, I came to New York as a sophomore in High School. I was still motivated and energetic until I realized that my efforts didn’t work so well, and then I became kind of lazy sometimes. For example, I may spend the whole day lying on my bed and watching movies without opening my text book or sleep over 12 hours just because I don’t want to get up. These things which could never happen before are happening now.

Two months ago, I attended Baruch College and became a college student. I figured out that kind of lazy always got me into trouble and made me stay up until 3 or 4am if there were some assignments would due on the next day. At that moment, my life quote jumped out of my mind again, and reminded me what I was supposed to do.

As my life quote says “victory won’t come to me unless I go to it”, I should never stop moving along the way to my victory. Just like the picture shows, if I want to win the competition, I have to run. Although I can rest a few seconds when I feel tired, I can never just stop there because resting is only for me to get ready for running again.