I wanted to be a police when I was a kid. I wanted to be a brave, and justice police who punished crime a long time ago. Now, I just want to be a normal happy person.
I wanted to be a police when I was a kid. I wanted to be a brave, and justice police who punished crime a long time ago. Now, I just want to be a normal happy person.
lmao is this where u post ur shit?
DAMN! What is this bull shiat.
The scale must be wrong.
The day before I was 100 pounds.
Now? 170. What the hell did I eat these past days?
I was pressured to eat more and more because of my abnormal weight during my elementary and junior high school.
Now what happened. What is this nonsense. My stomach is ridiculous.
But I don’t really mind because at one point in my life I was skinny. Hehe
People tell me that I resemble a bear and you know what I really do.
I look like one, I act like one. Well. I’m just a bear.
However, people say I should work out and lose the weight.
But there is an obstacle blocking me from that dream.
When I do work out, my legs and my back hurts. It’s not my fault really. The past years as I was growing up I had immense pain on these 2 regions. It’s all because of doing sports and playing roughly with the kids my age during my elementary school years.
Also, I’ve been into various car accidents, injuring my knee. So what can I do?
Maybe if I tried, or maybe get a surgery to fix my body enabling me to exercise. But either way, I know for sure I need that body many women adore.
I was called childish, crazy, stupid, and more stuff. But now I know that what I went through is not me being childish. I’m scare of needles. But not like a little kid is scared of needles, not at all, I am scared to the point of running away from the hospital if I know I will have to get a shot.
When I was a kid, I remember, I wasn’t as scared I am now. But there was an incident in my life that changed everything.
I was around 7 years old in a private school. Me and my friends were getting ready to take the annual picture for the school’s magazine. I saw my friends fixing their uniforms and brushing their hair before their individual picture. The photographer called my name, so I went to the front, but when he saw me he said, “Please go brush your hair or something, but hurry up.” After hearing these I run outside without realizing there was a glass door. I went through the door and of course fell on the floor.
the first thing I remember seeing was the blood on the floor coming from my face. I couldn’t react to this, I was silent. I looked back and saw my friends crying and sobbing, but I couldn’t hear them. At that moment I started feeling the pain in my whole body, a pain I can’t describe with words in a monolog.
After me realizing I was hurt, I scream so loud, the whole school heard me. My aunt, who worked in the school, came to “rescued me.” She tried to carry me from the 5th floor!. She wasn’t as strong or smart as she thought she was she didn’t think about taking the elevator so we both fell on the stairs, which of course made me bleed even more.
The doctor said they couldn’t give me the breathing kind of anesthesia, the one that makes you sleep, because it would be dangerous. So they had to put anesthesia in most parts of my body with needles. I was a 7 years old kid! I recently found out that this of course traumatized me. Ad after that if I see a needle I will get scare and star crying for no reason. It might sound stupid but I cant control this fear.
Now at the age of 18, I am not ashamed of telling people I am scare of needles. This is a fear I’ve to learn to face and overcome.
sorry i couldn’t make it on Weds.
Time went by so fast! I remember high school, applying to colleges and graduation. But now, I’m in college. I wanted to dorm and have the full experience of college, but oh well. College is a lot different than I expected… my first year in Baruch feels like another year of high school again, except with a lot more freedom. It only seems like yesterday, I was cutting class with friends at the near end of senior year of high school. But now, in college, there is no such thing as cutting. It’s my own money I’m losing if I do atrociously in college. I just hope maybe next semester or sophomore year, Baruch will become more attractive for me.
Siam Erica Tashtash
Monologue
There are only 2 wishes I would always want to have come true. One of
them is to go back in time whenever I wanted to and the second is to be
able to read minds. For starters in talking about my first wish, I
would have gone to another high school, where my older sister didn’t go
to and where it wasn’t only for girls. In my high school it really did
bother me to be referred to as “Sandy’s sister”. Sandy is my older
sister. It seemed as if it wasn’t enough to be compared to her in my
house, so I was always compared to her at school. Sometimes, teachers
would call out her name by accident, instead of mine. I thought this
would have ended when my sister graduated in 2009, but no. That’s why,
I tried to be the very opposite from my sister. You see, my sister
would join dance clubs, so I joined Student Council. My sister is very
humble and reserved, but I managed to be outspoken and confident. My
sister didn’t like talking to a lot of people, so I became a
people-person and once I became President of Student Council everyone
knew me. If you didn’t realize by now, I did go to an all-girl school.
A freaking all-girl school. Don’t get me wrong, in those 4 years I had
the greatest time of my life, but it was filled with so much estrogen.
This means drama, drama, drama, and oh, drama. Whether it was a
“he-said-she-said” story or having a massive amount of guys waiting
outside the gates of my school ready to be the reason for the drama,
there is not one person that I know that has not had some kind of
drama. I myself was caught in the middle of a drama. But that is
another story.
With my second wish, I wish I could read the minds of people that I
meet. I’m always stuck with people that are so difficult to read, so I
will resolve this if my wish was granted. Even though I really don’t
care much about what people think about me, I would still like to know
what they think of me. Do they think I’m funny? Do they think I’m
cocky? Do they think I’m stupid? Do they think I’m ghetto? Do they
think I’m boring? I wouldn’t mind knowing what’s going on in their
head. Are they too busy to think about me? Do they hate me? I could go
on and on with these questions. All I know is that if I can’t have
these wishes granted to me, I’ll make a machine to have it happen.
Every now and then, I find it difficult to sleep. I chose to accept the fact that I can never achieve my dreams. They’re always light-years away from me. Where did I go wrong? Some nights I would think about my regrets and my mistakes in life. It was evident that I had too many to deal with. The night was quiet except for passing cars and some asshole that would honk for no good reason. The only other sounds that would intrude my thoughts were the soft, quiet, breathing from my wife as she slept. She seems so calm and quiet now, contradicting her constant nagging and annoyance during the day. It’s my fault, though I would hate to admit it.
If only I can go back in time and pursue something I was passionate about, then I probably wouldn’t be stuck at my crappy cubicle filing insurances and listening to half ass lies from my clients. Maybe I should’ve joined the military, at least then I would have some money and achieve my lifelong dream of traveling the world. Maybe I should’ve been a paleontologist. Every kid loved dinosaurs when they were a kid and I was no different. I even knew far more about the prehistoric creatures than an average kid. When did I stop dreaming, when did that dream die? Maybe I should’ve been that archaeologist that I so wanted to be. How would my life be like? I love history and I was educated in that field, but people kept telling me there was not much demand for an archaeologist or a historian. Maybe that’s when all my dreams died. Money. I needed money, so I dropped my dreams for something that will net me a ton of cash. All these imbeciles made me believe I would be happier if I had a shitload of money. Now what, my dreams are dead, for what, for wealth?
I feel lost nowadays. I feel as if my identity is false. I didn’t want any of this. I just listened to idiots who thought they knew what was better for me. They promised me happiness, but guess what I’m not happy. My melancholy is nothing, but a hostile disease, spreading to all those around me. I used to love my wife and my kid, but now I would be lying to myself if I said that I still do. I always feel as if I took all the wrong paths every time I found a fork in the road. There is no light guiding me, only deceit.
I hated these nights, nights where I realize that all of this is irreversible, that I’m stuck with this till the day I die. I regret every single mistake I’ve made. They say it’s human to make mistakes. That does not apply to me. It’s inhuman to make so many shitty decisions in one’s life. I often find myself wishing that I had a time machine. I would love to reverse this life, go back and fix everything. If I were able to do that, maybe I would’ve joined the military. Maybe I would’ve stuck to paleontology; maybe I would’ve follow archaeology or be a historian. Maybe I won’t go after wealth this time, maybe I won’t listen to the “know-it-alls” that think they know my life. Maybe I won’t have so many regrets. Maybe I’m just making excuses. Maybe I should accept the fact that I can’t go back in time. I should take full responsibility for my mistake and I should correct them. Only then can I finally be happy. All I need is Faith.
I kinda miss those summer childhood days when I used to play outside until it gets dark out. Where all the kids in the neighborhood rode on their bikes, played hop scotch and enjoy good games of hide-and-go-seek. But now a days, I don’t barely see kids of this generation playing outdoors. The exposure of technology and game advancements changes a kid’s childhood. They tend to watch hours of television, spend their day on their computer and play video games in an air conditioned room. It was a bit humorous to me seeing kids of ages 8 or 9, walking around with an iPad. It is true that advancements had brought us many benefits, luxuries and entertainment. But why expose this to kids at such young ages? I am disappointed in a way of how technology and advancement have corrupted or even “poisoned” the minds of the young innocents. Instead, I would like the kids to interact with one and another outdoors. Go on the swings, run around playing tag and cooling off with sprinklers. Enjoy the laughters and smiles they share with each other, instead of with a pile of metal and computer chips.
I always considered myself as a busy person. It always seems I have something to do, whether its school work, my job, swim practice or going to church. It’s hard to balance everything, but surprisingly, by some miracle, everything just falls into place. Even though I have much work bestowed onto me, I never hated it; although at times it may be frustrating, but never had I once though it was in nuisance. I am a firm believer of the quote “lovers will out work workers”. It means that if you do something that you love, it will never seem as if your working or never seem that you’re in discomfort. But if you do something just because you have to, it becomes work; it becomes a job that you always wonder when it’s going to end. When I look back on all the things that I’ve done, I never did it just for the credit, or because I have to for my grade, I did it because I enjoy doing it. I did it cause I wanted to. I believe that once someone does something that they enjoy doing, it becomes a passion of theirs; And when it becomes a passion, they are able to do their job to the best of their abilities.
When people ask me to write an event that changed your life, I was stumped. Because all the things that I did and all the life experience I had, played specific part of shaping of the person I am today. All experience I had, each taught me a lesson of life that I won’t forget. Like become a swimming instructor taught me how to time manage and becoming a leader when I need to. Being on the swimming team and lacrosse team taught teamwork and what begin part of something bigger than yourself is about. When close friends and family past away it taught me that life and time is precious. Going to church taught me to be a respectful person and be humble. Begin part of the foreign exchange trip showed me that even though people have different cultures and norms, we are still the same. Begin part of Key Club showed me the definition of a community. Therefore, I cannot single out one specific event that has changed me because all of these life experiences had mold me to the person I am today.
In conclusion, I’m a type of person that believes that learning isn’t only found in a textbook. I believe that true learning comes from experiences. It’s one to thing to read about a war and another thing to be in the a war and live through it. Granted, that learning from the textbook and chalk board is essential, but I wouldn’t suggest limiting yourself in a classroom. You have to discover things on your own, and by doing so, you are able to become an explorer.
My name is Qi, eventhough I’m skinny now, I was fat when I was in elementary school. My biggest enemy during elementary school was Mcdonalds. I was happy to go to Mcdonalds every single day when I was kid. My classmates called me fat ass,and it really hurt my feelings.
As an immigrant, my biggest challenge was English. When I came here to America, everything was new to me. I didn’t understand everything, this led me to speak Chinglish.
I’m a lazy person, I always do my homework at lat minute. My motto in life is : “Noting is impossible, you just need some motivation.”
Procrastination.A good friend and a good enemy.Like a double-edges word.Like a bad girlfriend.I mean it’s fun at first but when it comes down to it I end up regretting and when I find something new like hard work, it never lasts for procrastination always looks more tempting. And you would think I would learn from my mistakes. Yeah… no.But procrastination has been with me since the beginning of time. Been with me through countless of essays,papers, and even this monologue. And when procrastination strikes I tell myself” oh it’s just a break” or “I’ll do it later” or “I have the time” but always see myself rushing to get my work done and it is not as good as if I took the time to do it. Procrastination has been an epidemic sweeping the world for centuries and I have caught it. There are moments when I see myself procrastinating but do nothing about it.For procrastination is always more fun compared to hard work. There are these habits that people have that are bed and yet they still do it. I am one of those people. And in those few moments when in the rush I think to myself ” Why didn’t I do this earlier” Well if I’m lucky just maybe I will find some hard work and stick with it
It’s obvious that people want to know so much about each other –from the physical attribute to his or her inner crevices filled with inner secrete and guilt. Mikey, why are you so thin? Do you eat? Why yes, I do eat. As matter of fact, as I’m writing this, I am eating a Mexican take-out. Mikey, your jawline is so sharp and we can see your bones. You really need to exercise. Thank you captain obvious. I’m well aware that I probably look like I’ve been starving for all 18 years of my life. Does it bother you that I just don’t have the time to go to the gym and work out. Mikey, you seem so effeminate. Are you gay? I’m well aware that I have a questionable voice and no, I’m not gay. Mikey are you a virgin? Mikey what drugs have you taken? Why do you care and it’s none of your business.
For all my life, it just seems like people just want you to expose yourself so they can either feel good about their own flaws or to have something to gossip about. I just wish people accept me for who I am. I am thin; I have effeminate voice and I am everything else that I am.
I just wish people would take the time to get to know me and understand where I come from. It’s sad that people judge each other based on assumptions or stereotypes. Of course I am guilty of that but I try my best not to do that.
Stop asking my stupid questions. I’m not answering your superficial and annoying questions for your alternative option to reading the tabloids. I want to not care what people say and think of me, but it’s just so hard. I always have to correct them or prove that their assumptions about me are wrong. I just wan to live my life without anyone judging or criticizing me. I am who I am. Take it or leave it.
College, it is a new start, a new beginning. Everything is different, less oppressive. It’s going to be a time of change and maturity. This is when I start to create my future, leaving the past behind me. To change myself so I can achieve my goals. One of the most important steps to the future and I’ve already messed up. Late to many classes, doing hw always at the last minute, doing this assignment late, studying for test the night before, not doing reading assignments, not paying attention in class, this is not a good start to fundamental part of my future. Therefore, I shall make a promise for all to hear that I will change and correct all of these defects starting today. No more of this lazy bullshit and procrastination disease that I have been hiding behind. It is going to have to change if I want any sort of a future.
Being the older child of the family, I have learned to become more responsible and independent at a much younger age than my little brother. Sometimes I wished we could switch roles, so I can be the younger sister for once. Especially during times when he’s on the computer playing games and I have to do all the cleanings around the house. I feel really unfair when this happens, but there’s nothing I can do about it. However, this will change if I was the younger sister because then I’ll be able to have more free times to myself and less duties to do. I don’t have to worry about finishing all the chores in the house, because someone else is going to do it for me. When I have questions about my homework, I’ll have someone to ask for. When I’m in trouble I’ll have someone to depend on, someone to look up to, and someone to rely on. Sometimes I’m jealous of my little brother because he does not have to take any responsibility. Whenever there’s something wrong, I’m always the one to be blamed at. I have to make sure that nothing happens to him otherwise I’ll be yield at. Being the older child can also be really stressful, because I will always be the first one to try something new. Although I’m jealous of my brother, but I still prefer to be the older sister because then I’ll have the power to boss him around.
when u look out the window
you can see people on the street having different actions and emotions
people are wearing different clothes
you can feel that they are worrying about the time, and are walking very fast
when you look across the street, there are many students who carry their bags, and walk to school
that is what we call”The Life”
when you walk on the street, you cannot feel you are walking, the crowd will push you to go. That’s the life.
you don’t have time to watch back for whatever you done; you only have time to do whatever you have to done for tomorrow.
no matter how you live today, the time will never stop for anything
no matter you like or not, you will be getting older and time will never come back
the life is in you hands, you have the rights to control it
I remember how a few years ago I wanted to move to United States. Now as I’m in
New York for some reason I regret that I didn’t stay home. The first year in United states was
awesome but at the same time I felt like I lost a big part of myself. I met a lot of new people
went to another school, made new friends but it didn’t feel the same. I miss my friends who
I grew up with. And since I came to New York every year I’m waiting for summer to fly back
to my native country and to spent time with those people who always remember me.
Do you know how people are used to say that money can’t buy you happiness ? That’s a lie.
Money is the main thing that can make you happy. For example in my situation as the time
past I realized that if I’ve had enough money I could have my summer vacation 365 days in a
year. Therefor when you have money you are free to do whatever you want.
Time and money.
Which one is more important?
If I would have to pick one ,
I will pick time.
Time fly.
Time is like an arrow in the sky.
When time flies away, it will never come back.
Money flow.
money is like water in the river.
When money flows away,you need time to let it back.
When people were young,they spend time to earn time.
But now time had flew away and it will never come back.
Time is money,but money is not time.
We walk in the road
When you see the light is green
You could be go
When you see the light is red
You could be stop
But what do you do
When the light turns to blue
With orange and purple spots?
Monologue
You know how you get up in the morning and you just feel like shit? Well that’s the story of my life for the past few months. You always wonder why you felt so tired like you slept on a rock for the past 5 hours.
That’s not even the worst part about mornings. The worst part is when you’re walking down to your local train station and you have this wishful thinking that you might actually get a seat. Yeah I know that feeling too well. You’re on the platform theres no one around you may be like two or three but when the train arrives theres never any fucking seats. You’re tracing the entire subway looking for someone that might get off the next stop but when you find it There’s always a group of Asian ladies hovering over that one guy. Do you fight the Asian ladies? Do you let them have the seat? Or do you just stand there on your door spot and hope a bum doesn’t show up? Also, there is always the choice of the middle seat you know the seat surrounded by two fat people that always feel like you’re the meat in between a bigmac. Are you tired enough to squish in? Do you have the tolerance of two blobs touching you? By the time your done thinking about these questions its probably your stop anyway. Moral of the monologue? You cant trust the system.
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